Getting there...

Monday, March 09, 2009

So, this week has been a bad wise. I ate everything that wasn't tied down. And I lost 2.6 pounds? How is that possible?

I'm getting nervous because I'm inching towards onderland. And I'm a bit frightened. I don't remember weighing less than 200 pounds since, well I don't know. I have been over 200 pounds, more like 250, all of my adult life. Yes, I got down to 230, but then I would gain the weight back. At my heaviest, that I know of, I was 268.

I feel like I've betrayed my body. All my life, I thought I was a fat girl. That is who I was. I didn't think I could lose the weight. And now, it seems like my body wants to be rid of it. I can't believe I spent all those years hiding under layers of fat. I can see an end. It still off a while, but I can see the end.

And I want to apologize:
I'm sorry, Body. I'm sorry that I stuffed you with high fat, high processed foods. I'm sorry that I would drink at least (yes, at least) half a gallon of pop a day (sometimes a full gallon) and would ignore your need for pure water. I'm sorry that I ignored your need to move, to burn away stress. I'm sorry for thinking that you (the body) was a seperate idenity than me (the personality). And thank you, for not giving up on me. And thank you for showing me what you can do. I hope we have many long years of understanding in between us.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It’s real easy to give in to the temptation of guilty pleasures and we don’t even realize what they do to us until we have had too many. I love how you apologize to your body. Looks like you’re on track to do something right, as you have lost some pounds. Keep it up and get in your exercise as possible. You’ll be at your goal before you know it.
    4517 days ago
    Great apology, now get back on track and don't fret!
    4522 days ago
  • KV711LAW

    Love that apology! Got some apologizing to do myself!

    I remember the DAY I went under 200! It was so amazing that I did a little dance all day.

    Can't wait to see how it turns out . . ..

    emoticon , kelli
    4527 days ago
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