Dad... It just wasn't time to leave this earth just yet.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Whew.... 22 hours in the car.... was just over the top... I did manage to read a good book on the way back, I usually get carsick but for some reason this time I did not, guess maybe my body just needed the ESCAPE???

It was wonderful getting to see my Dad. He is not in the greatest shape, he looks pale kinda grey, and he is not eating very well, or should I say not drinking. The food they are giving him is pureed and looks and smells gross. When we were there I put a straw in his Insure and made him drink it and eat some jello with some whipped topping. I worry that the Hospital staff is not making sure that he at least drinks the Insure.

He is doing a little better, but seeing him I could tell that the heart attack and the stroke has almost just done him in. He starts to say one thing and ends up on another. My Mom and sister went to visit him last Thursday and he remembered my Mom being there but not my sister.(?!?) He has a lot of memory loss, but we were able to bring up old times and he seemed to remember those. I was able to retrieve his glasses, he had not had those for over a week, they were at the Rehab facility that he was at in between Hospital stays. He told me that he could finally see the TV. He kept scratching his head and I asked him if he would like for me to was his hair, so I did that, they had some shampoo that did not need to be rinsed out. I got a warm wash cloth and wipe his hair so it was damp then put the foam shampoo on it. I gave him a good massage on his scalp, (Noticed that his hair is really thinning, he has always had really thick hair) then got another warm wash cloth and wiped him down to get most of the shampoo out. Then washed his face, neck and ears, he said it felt so good. It is a memory I will never forget. A parent wash's a child when they are little, but, how often does that child get to return the favor.

When we left I told him that I loved him and he was the best Dad in the whole world. I then told him that I was sorry that he had to live in pain for almost half of his life and I would be happy for him to no longer be in pain. I said., " Dad, if you want to leave this world to God's loving wings, GO, I will see you in heaven." He cried like a baby, and of course I did too!

He will be at the hospital for a few more days and then he will be moved to a Hospice type of facility. I really don't know if I will ever see him on earth again, but I do know that we will meet again in Heaven where he will no longer be in pain ! Devoting two days to driving both ways for this visit was worth the small amount of time that we got to spend with him.

I want to Thank all of my Spark Friends for being there for me and praying for my Dad and my Family. Being a member of Spark has given me some really great supportive people that I know I can always count on for Love, Motivation and Support. I really don't know what I would have done without all of your Prayers and Support. LOL to all of you!! ~ Janel :)
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  • PACKY62
    that is the best way to pay tribute to your father. we all hate to see our loved ones in pain.
    some times we need not to be so selfish and tell them not to hold on for them in pain. that god is waiting for them in a pain free wonderfull place.

    you will not have to weight to be with him in heaven he will be with you in spirt, memories. memories are the best way to honor him in the memories of him in good time not in pain.
    4309 days ago
    I am so very happy that you had time to spend with your dad, and that memories were created, memories that I hope in the many years to come with warm your heart and soul. emoticon

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    4311 days ago
    So very happy to know that you were able to spend some time with your dad. Your a daughter anyone would be very proud of the way you handled things. It's hard to say goodbye but selfish not to. All I could do was tell my dad I loved him when he closed his eyes for the last time. Your a wonderful person with a wonderful heart. You and your family will remain in my prayers.
    4311 days ago
    Janel, that is a beautiful story you told about your dad. It sounds like you and he are at peace. What a great and precious gift and memory of your dad you can have with you always and until you are together again in heaven. Take care, my friend. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    4311 days ago
    Thank you for writing so beautifully about the blessings hidden in the hard gifts of our lives. Sometimes, the gifts are wrapped up so that they look like problems or challenges; it is wondrous that you discovered the blessing that is wrapped in the pain. I am warmed by the strength of your faith, the completeness of your love, the gentleness of your soul. Take good care.
    4312 days ago
  • K_Z___
    I "m so glad that you could have this time with your Dad. It was very special for him and for you. You are a "best daughter". Take care emoticon
    4312 days ago
    my dear, dear friend words can not express all the feelings i have for you right now. you maybe right you may not see him again down here, but you will in due time and he'll be standing there waiting for you with open arms. this weekend was an amazing time for you two, it brought me back to my dad's last day i said similar words to him that nite and in the morn he was gone. my heart is with you, and i will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. emoticon emoticon
    4312 days ago
  • ANG14FAN
    I am lost for words behind my tears. You are such an amazing daughter I am sure that your father is very proud of you. Hugs to you!!!
    4312 days ago
    My mother passed away in May, so your feelings are especially familiar to me. I also know the feeling of giving a parent the gift of loving attention, whether it be washing the hair, as you did, or giving a pedicure, as I was able to do before my mother died. She appreciated it so much, and I know that in that moment we were as close as we have ever been as adults.

    It is so difficult to know that a parent will soon be passing away. I'm so happy that you and your father can both take comfort in God's eternal love.

    My prayers are with you.

    4312 days ago
  • JEWELS571
    Wow, how blessed you are! You made me cry like a baby too!
    4312 days ago
    What a beautiful way to show that your dad that you love him, you are an inspiration!!!
    4312 days ago
  • MACMOM57
    As I did too. You have given you dad a great gift in knowing its ok to go. Im sure those were words he has spoken to many of his parishioners. May Gods blessings be with you both. Nancy
    4312 days ago
    Janel, I cried when reading how you took care of your Dad washing him. It was wonderful that you were able to see you Dad. I'm sure your Dad feels some relief knowing that you're okay with him leaving this world and you'll see him once again in Heaven. Nancy is right you gave him a wonderful gift. My prayers are still with you and your family.
    4312 days ago
  • MACMOM57
    As I did too. You have given you dad a great gift in knowing its ok to go. Im sure those were words he has spoken to many of his parishioners. May Gods blessings be with you both. Nancy
    4312 days ago
    I like Greg, had to fight back tears at work. I send you big hugs and I am glad you have God in your life to help you through these tough times.
    4312 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    Wow! I am sitting here at work fighting back the tears. You are blessed to know that you and your father will see each other again in Heaven. My Mom and Dad died without knowing Christ as Savior. This is why we must speak to all of out family about Jesus and His Gospel.
    You have so much love for your Dad. I can feel it through your words. My prayers are continuing for you and for him. Thank you for the update

    In Jesus Name
    4312 days ago
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