SUSIEQQ62

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Feeling very discouraged

Monday, August 17, 2009

I just need some encouraging words.. It is a long story--But i have or had these 2 online friends from England who were planning to get wed next yr and they have a 1 1/2 yr old boy--They had split up 2 yrs ago--due to her cheating and i helped get them back together--cause i thought they were meant for each other--Then no sooner were they back together SHE got pregnant!! I was so happy for them that they were together not married tho--and they had a baby coming--but they were planning their wedding just a few weeks ago and SHE up an leaves him once again--like 2 yrs ago--this time tho they have a kid and she took him--and the boyfriend had not idea what was going on--Then she is bragging on Facebook and such that she is involved with another guy--this is just about a week later or so!!!
I always prayed for them and treated them like family--
But now she has lashed out at me and called me a busy
body--caused i saw that HIS heart was broken because of what she did--and i asked what happened and is there anything i could do and that i was praying for them--Well they do not know God and she wrote me several messages that attacked me as a Christian and a caring person-- I am so depressed cause i would never do anything to hurt a fly.. I was just trying to help them--so they both want nothing to do with me and took me off of their friends lists.. And She is blaming me for all that is going down--I did not do anything --but try to help them as they are only in their 20S and they always asked me for advice and now She says that the both of them never liked me and felt like i was a phony Christian & friend..Now that really hurt as that is a lie--I was just trying to be a god Chritian and pray for them and see what i can do to help--cause i loved them like one of my family..
But the girl definitely has a srew loose--she is in the Britiish army and was in Iraq and Germany and she has hurt her boyfirend several times--
No sooner then she left her fiance--she had it all over her blogs and such that she was dating this other guy--
Strange..
Now i am trying to cope with feeling like a bad person-- and bad Christian--I keep praying and reading Gods Word about persecution of us Christians to help me cope--But i suffer from Depression and Anxiety and this is making me scared that i will sink into a bad depression--and now i do not want to get involved in others lives and feel like just staying quiet about things and I know that GOD wants me to help and encourage others..
I got stuck in the middle of these 2 people --who are out of my life now--I tried my best with them and they see me as a meddler--what can ya do--But i am so sentimental that this hurts me so to think people think i am not a good CHristian or person--I just do not understnad why people want to blame troubles they have caused on others..
But now that said--I do need prayer for me to forget about this incident and except persecution from non Godly people and some even Godly people--who do not understand the difference between a Godly heart and a cold heart.
I am so hurt--very deeply.. Plz pray and believe me when i say that i did nothing wrong to be treated like this..
God Bless and thanks for your prayers as my health cannot handle this..
sniff sniff sniff
SUSIEQ
PS_ NOW IF I WAS A BAD PERSON --WHY WOULD I BEEN ELECTED ON SATUR AND BEFORE ALSO AS A SPARK MOTIVATOR!!
I TRY SO HARD TO HELP OTHERS..

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ~INDYGIRL
    You are a good person, people just don't understand Christians.
    4357 days ago
  • JENNYTX
    I understand your disappointment about your former friends rejecting you after a relationship in which they seemed to value your insights. It's reasonable to feel sad in this situation, because you lost something which has been rewarding. I urge you, though, not to give them the power to make this sadness a big part of your life. Relationships come and go, and they are not mature enough to maintain a relationship with someone who makes them think deeply about their choices.

    You, however, have done very well by them, they just don't recognize it. You have also proved that you have a great inner strength that has allowed you to become a healthier person, when many may have thought you were a hopeless case. That same strong core self you possess will help you get through this disappointment. You are a person of Spiritual insight, and being that kind of person will help you to realize that God does not protect us from all hurts, but He is there to comfort and support us through the difficult challenges we face. So many people have written encouraging words to you....I hope it helps you to see that God's love may come from the most unexpected places. Bless you on your continued journey toward health.
    4360 days ago
  • CHANGES4KAREN
    Many people when they are young go through indecision and mistakes that they seem to have to make to grow up. I think that even though they made comments to you that seemed personal it is not about you, it is about them. It is about their confusion, anger, self involvement and self pity. You are caught in the cross fire between two people who can not make up their mind about their personal relationship and that is a bad place to be. The best thing to do is back off and let go. You can still pray for them but it is probably just best to let go and let God. It is not your fault that they are having problems but I wouldn't pursue it any further. Your serenity and sanity are more important in the end. You can not continue being the giving and caring person that you are to other people if you are wounded and emptied by this situation. Take stock of the blessings in your life and focus on them and spend time with those who are positive around you and love your self because you are a special person. Look for the good and treat yourself well. This too shall pass. And it is truly their loss to not have you as a friend. Yet, they will have to learn that this is not the way to treat people or they will only have friends who are uncaring in their lives because they do not know how to treat people with love. Stay in the love, the peace and the joy. Godspeed, Karen
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4360 days ago
  • AMYLT82
    I agree with many of the other commentators. The kids you were trying to help, are using you to blame their mistakes on. They probably aren't even admitting to themselves they were wrong. Don't let it get to you. You are a good person. You don't need "friends" like them. You have plenty of other friends. It may take awhile to forget, but just don't blame yourself for the mistakes others make. All you can do is pray. The Lord answers prayers. Remember "All things work for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." That would include you. I don't know how this will work to your good, but somehow, God will make it work out to benefit you, maybe just make you learn something that will help you in the future. God Loves You, and so do we. Hang in there. Your Friend, Amy. emoticon emoticon
    4360 days ago
  • BET67TY
    I have not read the other responses, so I hope this is not redundant....I always find my comfort in scripture.

    1.) Ask for God to help you. Hebrews 4:15-16
    2.) Remember God is in charge here...Romans 8:28-29
    3.) The trying of your faith worketh patience..James 1:3
    4.) Christ's strength is what you need, Phil.4:13
    5.) In everything give thanks....1Thes. 5:18

    You will be in eternity before you know what influence you actually had on these people...pay no attention to their ugly words....pray for their salvation and keep you eyes open for the next opportunity you have to represent christ...they are all around you...God wants us as Christians to work daily to bring the lost to saving faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ.....

    May the Lord bless you and keep you, Betty




    4361 days ago
  • SHERRY666
    So sorry you had to go through this......... and at the time..... you were just trying to be a good friend...... and now she thinks that was meddling..... well you don't need people like that in your life....... You are a wonderful person....... and your true friends know that....... Don't let it depress you....... Move forward...... and know you have helped many other people..... and they all love you for it... I think it's her loss not having you as a friend anymore... emoticon
    4362 days ago
  • SCORPION1352
    Suzie--You are a good person and don't you ever forget that. Your love for others is large, they might just be jealous of you. They don't have the same kind of heart and don't know how to deal with thier lives. You have planted the seeds and now all you can do is pray that they will be nurtured.

    There is power out there that is very strong and you must be aware. The devil will be there if you give him an opening,so always say get behind me devil. Step on him and his attemps to make you sad and worry so much that is what he is known for.

    So cheer up and look up toward the heavens and be thankful that you have God in your life, what a joy he brings.

    I will pray for you


    Marty God Bless
    4362 days ago
  • SASSYSASSY
    Susie ~ I am so sorry you are going through this. Those young people are not who you thought they were, so please try very hard to forget about them. I know easier said than done. You do plenty good for others and you are appreciated and loved. Just continue to be the best that you can be. Take care of Susie.
    4362 days ago
  • LOULOUBELLE2
    Oh My Gosh, So much has been said in responce to your blog. I completely agree with them all so will simply say: My Prayers are with You. God knows our hearts, HE doesn't think less of you, but will bring you peace.
    Keep up the faith and Peace be with you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4362 days ago
  • WOWEETOO
    you know hard as we try we cannot live others lives for them and it's hard for us to hear those terrible accusations that are not true but there it is these are no friends of yours right now and let it lie and go on your way that's all you can do mit may take them the rest of their lives to find what they want or not..and meantime pick yourself up say God will do his thing and move on
    and we are here for you
    hugs
    the lady mary
    4362 days ago
  • NANCYJEAN6
    Suzzie, I read your blog, but quite honestly don't have time to read everyones comments so let me just say this.

    Your x-friends, are very young and will try in whatever way to try to justify their own bad decisions in life. Your too good of an individual and daughter of the Great King who sits on high to let this bring you down. Don't take on the depression, it's not yours to carry.

    JESUS TOOK ALL THAT ON THE CROSS FOR YOU.

    There have been many seeds planted on behalf of God's Word going forth from your lips to their ears. Let it all go and Let the Holy Spirit take over He's already on the move in the situation, you can let it all go and just trust that the seeds are planted. You will see the rewards one day when you reach glory. That is our Blessed hope. His word does not return void!!


    Blessing and Agape your way,
    Nancy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4362 days ago
  • ISABELLAROSE61
    SUSIE,
    I ALSO WAS TOLD MY BROTHER RECENTLY THAT I WAS NOT A GOOD CHRISTIAN OR DAUGHTER TO MY DAD THAT WAS VERY ILL. IT HURT ME TOO BUT REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE AN ENEMY THAT LOOKS FOR WAYS TO WOUND US. YOU OPENED YOURSELF UP TO THIS COUPLE AND GAVE THE BEST ADVICE YOU KNEW TO GIVE. THEY BOTH ARE HURT AND SHE WANTS TO BLAME SOMEONE OTHER THEN HERSELF FOR THE ISSUES IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP. GOD KNOWS YOUR HEART AND YOUR HEART IS GOOD. I SEE YOU AS A LOVING CARING PERSON, WANTING TO ENCOURAGE AND HELP EVERYONE YOU MEET. GOD HAS GIVEN YOU THIS TENDER HEART FOR OTHERS AND GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES.

    LORD PLEASE PUT YOUR LOVING ARMS AROUND MY SISTER IN CHRIST, LET HER FEEL YOUR PRESENCE. BLESS HER WITH YOUR PEACE. MAY SHE RECEIVE HEALING IN HER HEART. REMIND HER THAT SHE HAS A HEAVENLY FATHER THAT LOVES HER WITH A EVERLASTING LOVE. IN JESUS' NAME AMEN

    I HAVE BEEN SO ENCOURAGED BY YOU SUSIE.
    THANK YOU,
    DEB emoticon
    4362 days ago
  • BWCAGRL
    Susie,
    I echo what most people have said. I'm so sorry you have to go through this - it is extremely hurtful. But hopefully you have noticed that you have a lot of support and friends who know who you really are. Continue to be who God created you to be. Many of us have had similar experiences (even with some Spark folks) and know how hard it is to forgive and forget, but it will get better. In the meantime, be blessed and feel God's love and comfort around you!
    Melissa
    4362 days ago
  • TAFFYBAT
    I have had a similar thing happen and it was hard to understand but really,truly..when people are this confused and at odds they do blame who is available to blame. Don't take this to heart hon.

    4362 days ago
  • JUSTDOINGITNOW
    Hi, sorry for what you must be feeling right now.... its understandable... but why let someone with different morals reflect their hurt on you as it has.... one thing I would like to ask is... would you have felt better had you not tried to help? im thinking you would say no... so be proud of who you are, and your concerns towards helping others.

    You sound like a wonderful, wonderful person who strives to be the best you can be. Don't let someone who has no idea what that means reflect upon you to the point you question your generosity of kindness and love towards others. I think you are a wonderful person and would love to have a friend like you.

    We need to do those things... they make us a better person and sometimes though those others don't understand nor do they get it....One person said to me before, "don't let someone's lack of understanding affect who you are, and I would like to share that with you. In fact honestly I think she knows you are a good person, she is just confused right now, by the sounds of it and lashing out at anyone.

    God Bless you for having a genuine, caring and loving heart. Lucy
    4362 days ago
  • PAVELKA6
    Isaiah 40:21-31

    Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood it since the earth was founded?

    He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth & his people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy & spreads them out like a tent to live in.

    He brings princes to naught & reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than He blows on them & they wither. And a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

    "To whom will you compare me, or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes & look to the heavens. Who created all these? He who brings out the starry hosts one by one & calls them each by name. With His great power & mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

    Why to you say, O Jacob, & complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God?"

    Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not grow tired or weary & His understanding no one can fathom.

    He gives strength to the weary & increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired & weary & young men stumble & fall. But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run & not grow weary, they will walk & not grow faint.

    I am saying a prayer of peace & strength for you. It doesn't matter what these other people say or think. What matters is that you are a child of the King. He loves you & is pleased with you!

    Thanks for adding me as a friend & for sending me the goodies.

    In Christ,
    your Spark Friend
    4362 days ago
  • IM-SO-WORTH-IT
    Suzie, just keep loving them. I know that you are hurt and feeling betrayed by their break up and that they blame you and accuse you of being a "bad christian." Only God can judge what is a "good" Christian. The religious leaders in Christ's time accused Him of being a "bad influence on the people of Israel, and looked down on Him for associating with "sinners." All of the people (including some of His disciples) denied Jesus' divinity. He forgave them - and us when we fall short of perfection.
    Jesus knows the pain you feel when your friends turn from you. Hand that pain to Jesus, don't let it turn to depression. Have Joy in your heart that you can still pray for this family and no-one, not even them, can stop you from seeking God in your life and praying for friends that need Him too.
    4362 days ago
  • KAGOULET
    Susie,

    It is so hard when you find out people you care about are not what you thought they were. Keep your faith, You sound like you have such a good soul and sometines no matter how hard you try you can't help some people.

    Kathy

    emoticon
    4362 days ago
  • ETAGGEL
    When people do wrong, then they have to find someone to blame. Unfortunately in this case it is you! It is the world we live in!
    Some people just cannot be helped. but as Christians we should always pray for these people. It is hard when they have hurt you so badly, but I really believe they need your prayers!
    You are in my thoughts and prayers to help you recover from this.

    Phyllis
    4362 days ago
  • LACEEJO11
    SUSIEQ, as you stated she has a screw loose...so why even give a second thought to what she says??? Some people you just can't be nice to, as they do not know how to except it, probably because they know in their heart that they are not worthy of it!!
    Not one thing has changed, as far as who you are, or who you are to your TRUE FRIENDS, we all know who you are, and that doesn't change because of someones saying hurtful things. Nor should your opinion of who you are be affected by these childish accusations. HON, you know who you are and so does GOD, so my advice is just let go and let GOD, give it to him...and don't look back!! LOVE & HUGS, LaceEjo11

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon P.S. You are never responsible for anything someone else does!!! Even if you suggested they do something, it is still their choice to make, so don't ever let anyone put their blame all over you, they are responsible for their own decisions and actions!!!
    4362 days ago
  • SUSIEQQ62
    THANK YOU MY FRIENDS--- I AM TRYING MY BEST TO KEEP MY HEAD HIGH AND PTL FOR HIS BLESSINS. THE GIRL TOLD ME THAT GOD WAS LOOKING DOWN WITH DISCUST UPON ME AND THAT REALLY HURT ME BAD.. AS A CHRISTIAN WE NEVER WANT TO DISCUST GOD--SHE WAS LASHING OUT AND SAYING MEAN THINGS TO HURT ME JUST--SHE ALSO MADE A MEAN COMMENT ABOUT ME NOT HAVING KIDS CAUSE GOD DID NOT THINK I WAS A GOOD PERSON AND THAT REALLY HURT CAUSE I CANNOT OR COULD NOT HAVE KIDS CAUSE OF MY DIABETES !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    GOING TO BED NOW --I PRAY THAT I DO NOT HAVE MORE NIGHT MARES ABOUT THIS STRESSFUL INCIDENT.. PLEASE LORD LET ME FORGIVE AND FORGET THIE.......
    SUSIEQ
    4363 days ago
  • KSMILEY69
    Susie,

    Keep your head up. You know what you did or didn't do. I have read a lot of your blogs and comments and seriously I don't think it was you. I think they are both in denial and trying to blame someone and you are it. God has made you the woman you are. Make him proud, rise above this. You know what your intentions were with them and so does HE.

    Take Care and God Bless ! ! !

    Kat
    4363 days ago
  • CANNOTFATHOM
    Susie,

    It sounds like you cared for both of these people, but unfortunately they made and make choices that are beyond your control, and it's their life. I would keep them in your prayers, but move on. Real friends know that friendship is work. And they don't really sound like they were real friends to you and didn't consider you that way. Congrats again on the Spark Motivator of the Day! Take care of yourself!


    Penny
    4363 days ago
  • DORIS0706
    Hey, as long as you know in your heart that you tried to help with good intentions, that should be some comfort. Seems like you got caught up with some unstable people. Please, don't beat yourself up over this, God knows your heart and your thoughts and intentions, so go easy on yourself. Maybe you can speak with someone in your church for guidance, that's what I would do if I need help. Sounds like they are blaming you for their own failures, Keep your head high, and be proud of yourself that you took the time to even try to help people who lead you to believe they needed it. I've known you for a while now on spark, and you are a good Christian Lady and I admire you. especially that you can be so open with your faith. Please still continue to pray for them and the baby and children involved, they are young and maybe had never been raised with faith, but are still in need God's guidance.


    So embrace each day God gives us, and respect your mind and body that God gave us. Keep your thoughts positive and hope some day they will do the same.

    Stay strong!
    Doris
    4363 days ago
  • KARENE10
    It sounds like you tried to help them and that is all you could do. They seem to have problems only they can work out between themselves. I would not beat yourself up over this. Just know that you are a good person. emoticon
    4363 days ago
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