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Titled- "While we are on the subject. . . ."

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Email #2 from DIL 9/17

"Puffs are not a good snack. Puffs are what we give Nona to occupy her at a restaurant before the food comes. Bananas, raisins, graham crackers, peanut butter crackers, vanilla wafers are a few ideas.
Be creative."

Though my son was OK with "puffs"- DIL failed to tell him.

I replied to both of them. " I would not give her anything unless I have your permission, some people are allergic to peanuts, etc."

Aren't there really more important things in this world to be upset about?

I need a life- C25K- here I come, for my own sanity.
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  • no profile photo MOU37SE
    As mother of two young children I have learned to recognize that my children's relationship with their Grandparents is going to be different than my relationship with my kids. My kids know that at Grandma's house no one will expect them to eat their veggies and they will not be expected to be in bed on time. I accept the food part, they aren't there that often and the average overweight person, which my in-law's are, got that way through poor eating habits, me nagging isn't going to change that.
    The sleep part is hard. I've picked my kids up after a week at Grandma's when my 11 year old son, who is very even tempered, was crying because he was so exhausted. I discussed this in person with my Mother-in-law and we were both civil and kind. She refused to budge on the idea that the kids need to go to bed at a decent hour or they become exhausted and then get sick. This motivated me to choose to not have my kids spend half a week with Grandma the week before school started because I didn't want my kids to be exhausted their first week of school. They would have enjoyed being there, I would have appreciated not having to pay for childcare that week, and would have enjoyed the time alone with my husband, but there was no way that I could set my kids up for having a bad first week of school like that.

    I love my In-Laws, they are wonderful, and they are great Grandparents, but at least until the kids are older they will be having their overnights in the middle of vacations when they can come home and sleep for a week afterwards!

    I think you have a great blog, and I totally understand the hurt feelings since your DIL's E-mail was tactless to say the least, but I wanted to share a perspective from the other side of the parent-grandparent relationship.
    4282 days ago
  • SUMMERHATS
    OK, let me get this straight....."puffs" are OK for her to give but not for you to give? If they are not a good/appropriate snack in her mind then why is she using them at all? Your granddaughter isn't going to understand that one at all.

    I will just restate my advice to you, listen to her, comply as best you can, and move on; it's really all you can do. I have even had issues over art projects.

    Enjoy your time with your Granddaughter, don't let this spoil it for one minute. emoticon

    Kathy

    4290 days ago
  • DISPATCHER04
    Hugs. I've been on both sides of the fence. With my firstborn, he was allowed NO sugar or processed food. With each subsequent child, I learned to let more go and just enjoy my child. Maybe she hasn't learned it yet. ((hugs))

    (And I do agree that a class on tact and manners might be called for.)
    4291 days ago
  • LINDIEMAE
    HMMM THERE ARE HEALTHY SNACKS OUT THERE, AND DEPENDING ON ONE'S ABILITY TO CHEW, THEY CAN BE GOOD. YOU ARE RIGHT SOME PEOPLE ARE ILLERGIC TO PEANUTS, AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN FUSS ABOUT THINGS THEY DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BOTHER WITH... HOW'S THE LIFE ?? GRAB IT AND DON'T LET GO !! emoticon
    4291 days ago
  • SHINAKO
    Oh dear, sounds like you've had a stressful day!

    While I think your DIL ought to have broached the subject more tactfully- I'm going to be the devil's advocate here- I know a lot of parents who are SUPER asinine about the children's schedules- what they eat and when, when they sleep and where, where they go and when, etc. For gosh sake's, let the children have some flexibility!

    In the food email, it looks like she's concerned for her daughter's nutrition- which she would probably harp about to anyone... probably even her own mother!

    She does need to take a class on TACT and MANNERS though. I kind of feel bad for your son, being the middle-man between you two.

    C25K is fun. :) I wasn't able to complete it, but I wish you luck!
    4291 days ago
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