In the midst of it all
Monday, May 10, 2010
I haven't felt like blogging lately. Or coming to SP much. Things, even the smallest of them have become difficult to do.
I have been riding a rollercoaster of emotions the past couple of weeks.
First our car broke down over two weeks ago. We borrowed a friends car for a few days. It was godsend.
We started the AIT (Auditory Integration therapy) for my son. We were dealing with an impatient teacher who expected things to change instantly. I wrote a long letter and tried not to let it upset me. It still did.
My parents came to visit, which is always great as we live a long way away from them. They were here for about 4 days and then took the plane to another city for a week. Luckily we could use their car for the time being.
Then on Monday my MIL passed away. She was ill and we were worried about her. We were planning to visit her on Mothers day, cause we were expecting things to worsen. We would've gone earlier, if we hadn't had visitors and had our own car to drive there. But our plans could never realize. I was worried about my husband, as he still has not begin to mourn his mothers death. I was sad and even angry at her death. She was only 61.
On Friday I met a dear friend I made here on SP. I was elated and blessed by our visit.
On Saturday we went to my MIL's "wake". She left her body to science, so we had to say goodbye quite differently. We went to their favorite pub. My FIL said a few word and read a letter she wrote telling us how to 'celebrate her life'. We listened to a song she loved and then everyone had drinks and ate her favorite food. To say goodbye everyone took a helium balloon when they felt like doing so and with a few words or just a good-bye let the balloon float away.
My parents returned on Saturday evening and left for home the following day. Mothersday was filled with mixed emotions. I was happy to have my Mom with me, but sad about my MIL.
We just got our car back a few minutes ago. It is setting us back R7400!!! Fretting again.
In the midst of all this my weight fluctuated between 133kg and 130,8kg. This morning I was at 131.8kg. I've officially outgrown my jeans and most of my tops I bought last winter, celebrating my weight loss. I need to get back on track, but I feel so empty as if there is nothing I can draw from to make it happen.
So far this year has brought be little joy. And I truly hope that things will turn around so that I can move forward. I know I cannot renew my body, before I have not renewed my mind. And my heart.