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the gibberish of feelings.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I feel blah today. I feel mad today. I feel like I have been bad today. I feel like I am sick of thinking about what I feel. It is time to get to work but, I don't feel like it. Ha! So I am sitting here writing gibberish.

I think I really feel sad and disappointed with myself. I did well for awhile eating not sugar. then I decided that was too hard and ate some. I gotta figure out exactly what I want.

I want to lose about half my weight. I would consider that a miracle. What if I can't make that happen. But, what if I could. There is not sugar worth the feeling of accomplishment I would feel if I could again fit into size 14 clothes. What if I had the energy to do what I need and want to do? What if I had the skills to eat in a way that made me feel good and satisfied? Is all this possible?

Somehow deep down I hope it is possible. I am just not sure. I want to fly with the eagles but, today I feel grounded. I need to get moving. I'll be back.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You can fly!! Sometimes you just gotta get out of the chicken coop to figure out how to fly. Start with what you can do, and maybe the sugar thing isn't right for you-maybe using a substitute, like stevia, would still let you enjoy life while avoiding the bad for you sugar.

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step...I might have misquoted that, but the idea is there. Start with what you can and gradually build upon that foundation and eventually you will find yourself where you want to be.
    4043 days ago
    There are those who can "give up" a food and not eat it again. Ask me to give up beets. I'll be able to do that in a minute. I like Chocolate. I even make it a proper noun. I can give it up and have done so. I want to be able to live the rest of my life and I don't want to do it without Chocolate. I am finding ways to incorporate it into my life.

    My sister lost over 100 pounds. She worked hard at it, exercised, ate carefully and did some serious soul searching. She also had a bowl of ice cream every night. She loves ice cream and didn't want to give it up. Each week the scales would drop and she still ate the ice cream and smiled. She found lower calorie versions of her favorites, a cute portion controlled 1/2 cup bowl that she ate from and a dainty spoon the made it last longer. It was her treat to herself.

    I lost the same amount and gave up ice cream and chocolate and other things. I found that it wasn't something that I could do all my life. I have now modified the plan I was on and plan to eat things I enjoy at times. That doesn't mean that I eat a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints at one sitting, but I can open the box and have a couple and pass them around to the kids so there aren't many left. I can also have a small bowl of ice cream in a portion controlled bowl with a dainty spoon so I have exactly the amount that is one portion.

    I'm a big work in progress and am reading Roth's book so I can learn more about not dieting and learning to listen to my body. It will be a work for a while and I'm not going to give up. I'm also not going to beat myself up for having struggles. You shouldn't either.
    4044 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    I been on the ground with you lately. But I KNOW FOR SURE WE CAN DO IT, but WE JUST HAVE TO DO IT!~

    Get up and go. It will happen. DO it sensible, slowly and enjoy the journey.

    Let's FLY
    4044 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3011801
    I am not dieting i eat what i want but not in the large quantities.I want chips i eat chips BUT i buy the small bags.They are portion controlled.I am eating the way i want for the rest of my life.I exercise and i eat alot of fruits and veggies.Dont make it complicated.Make up your own diet just make sure you follow the food tracker and exercise tracker.I always eat in my calorie range.Lisa
    4044 days ago
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