the gibberish of feelings.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I feel blah today. I feel mad today. I feel like I have been bad today. I feel like I am sick of thinking about what I feel. It is time to get to work but, I don't feel like it. Ha! So I am sitting here writing gibberish.
I think I really feel sad and disappointed with myself. I did well for awhile eating not sugar. then I decided that was too hard and ate some. I gotta figure out exactly what I want.
I want to lose about half my weight. I would consider that a miracle. What if I can't make that happen. But, what if I could. There is not sugar worth the feeling of accomplishment I would feel if I could again fit into size 14 clothes. What if I had the energy to do what I need and want to do? What if I had the skills to eat in a way that made me feel good and satisfied? Is all this possible?
Somehow deep down I hope it is possible. I am just not sure. I want to fly with the eagles but, today I feel grounded. I need to get moving. I'll be back.