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Balancing then and now.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Busy week last week. My 3rd son finished his eagle project, graduated from high school, church seminary class, turned 18 and had a small party. I was around for all of this, in the background mostly doing what I do best as a mom, I think it is called support. It is great to see all that he has done. To realize that a chapter of our lives together is closing and something new is opening. Exciting times.

I was thinking back to when I was 18. Who I thought I would be now, what I thought I wanted, what I got and who I am now.

I thought I wanted a career when I was in high school. I decided to stay home when I actually had children. That worked out better than I could ever have envisioned.

I wanted a large family. I never had a number. I realized sitting behind a mother in church yesterday that I am in fact content with the number of children that I have. It is OK that the next baby that is mine will be a grandchild. That was an awesome realization that I am OK with that. I cannot imagine. But, I am sure it is closer than I realize.

Yes, there is room for improvement with my children but, in general I am greatly blessed.

I wanted a degree. I still do but, I have have done a good job reading and learning. I continue to do that. I can wait until the right time to finish the formal schooling. Right now this falls on the lacking side of the balance sheet but I am content with that.

All in all I am so very blessed. I am not who I thought I would be. But who I am is good. That is hard to write. But, it is true. I would like to figure out how to put this journey into perspective. I know that is what we share here. But, I have to change what I think about myself and how I think about this journey.

I need to figure out how to put the whole thing on auto pilot and let it take care of itself. I have not figured how to do that. But, it will stop the negatives that run though my head and tell me I cannot do this.

I am happy that my eating is happening more at the table and more thought out. I am paying attention to what I am eating. The starting and when I am full. I am happy that I am learning to stop when I am full.

I am eating on a smaller plate. I like that. I have to pay attention to when I take more. I can take more if I want. But, I pause to ask myself if I am really hungry first.

My exercise is good. At least the cardio is. I would like to improve my weight training.

I am working on a checklist so I can make it more of a habit and less of a worry.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    What a great blog. Thanks for sharing all that stuff and giving us a chance to go back and think about our lives too.

    4034 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5959732
    It's great to feel content and blessed with where you are in life and what you have.
    4035 days ago
    It sounds like you had a really great week. I love it when you find these insights into your life and find that you are happy overall. I love it when you are not defined by what you weigh.

    I love it that you are listening to your body and deciding if you are hungry and what you want. That book is great, isn't it?
    4035 days ago
    "I am not who I thought I would be. But who I am is good."

    Maybe hard to write but insightful and brilliant. That is the perspective we all need! Thank you!
    4035 days ago
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