Monday, June 28, 2010
For the last week I have been jog/walking. It feels so good to push myself everyday to get up and do something good for myself. I have also been watching what I eat and trying to eat as clean as possible. I have had some slip ups. I have people who live with me and despite how I try to explain to them that they should buy single servings if they wants sweets and junk in the house they continue to buy full sizes and I have gotten weak and ate stuff that I should not have. My mom also will buy candy and cookies and set them right in front of me. Whether she realizes what she is doing or not, I will not be deterred.
The scale has been going down every day or two and that is an awesome feeling! It motivates me to get up in the morning. I have been running a block and walking a block. I live in a predominantly african american neighborhood and people tend to look at me crazy and smirk when they see me out there running, sweating and panting. I don't know what they think and I don't care. This is about me. When they see me three months from now they will wish they were out there too! (smiles) Then you have the people who may be tending their yards, sitting on their porches or out for a walk themselves. Some do the same and just stare and others give me words of encouragement which makes me beam with pride! I will be 35 in November and I want to look pretty. I want to wear a dress that shows off my legs, arms and shoulders. I want to feel feminine and sexy. The outside has to catch up with the inside. I have always been a tomboy as far as how I dressed because I was always trying to cover up. I am a beautiful woman and I want to be acknowledged as such. I love dresses and heels. I love to smell good. I am learning to love makeup and how it can change and accentuate your look. I will still have my tennis shoes and jeans in my fashion wardrobe but just won't utilize them as much because I will be comfortable in my body.
I have been making awesome steps towards being better. Better for myself and better for my family. Being introverted and isolated for the time that I have been has been good for me because I found myself again. I was lost in other peoples thoughts, advice and opinions. I let go of toxic relationships. I have forgiven myself and others for past mistakes. I'm ready for what this life has for me. ALL OF IT!!!! Can't wait to see what the next six months has to offer. For once in a very long time, I'm ready for it!