No one else to blame...
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Here I am in my 60's and learning something over again every day ! Yesterday I had a biopsy taken from my breast. I didn't tell friends or family about it. I didn't want to worry others unnecessarily or give my children cause for concern. I figured after the results were in there would be time enough for discussion. This was NOT a good idea, at least for me. It was one of those times when I should have called on someone to be there for me. I didn't expect to have such a strong reaction to being alone after the very minor surgery, but threat of the big C is scary.
I am often trying to be 'strong' for others. A divorce left me with 6 wonderful children in a state far from family. There were more than a few times that I felt abandoned by life, just working and scrabbling to keep us together....... somehow it became the way I handled things, alone. It's tempting to always be in control, or fake it if you feel doubt. It also led to lessening the pain with food..., then the cycle of self loathing starts over, again. After a dinner of 4 ( oh my goodness 4 ! ) biscuits with jam, and a bowl of frozen yogurt, I realized that I was bingeing on comfort foods. Again ! I was trying to still the pain with food... again !
In the future, instead of jumping to the wrong choice, I resolve to "sit" with uncomfortable emotions and then to take action. Yesterday I blogged to Spark, and received lovely responses. I also called a girlfriend who has been through the same thing and she was glad that she could be there to listen.
There are different bad habits that lead us to being over weight. We must tackle them one at a time. Recognize the better choice and use the knowledge in all the tomorrows that we have.