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Living in Secret

Friday, August 13, 2010

Since my blogs are normally affirmations an/or thoughts, I will start off this one with an affirmation so I don't disappoint the ones that look forward to them.

I surrender to the Source of all being. As I surrender to the Source of life, I am guided and directed to my greatest yet to be. I am grateful.


Hi everyone!

Well the secret that I have been living for the past year has sort of taking a toll on me. I am a substitute teacher and have watched my assignments slip away because the districts are calling back laid-off teachers to sub instead of the regular subs. Because of it I am in the process of planning to move up to my daughter's home and give my home of 21 years back to the mortgage company. This has been a very depressing process. I am having to go through my stuff as well as both my kids things that they left behind when they moved out. I have decide what I take that is of value to them or yard sales and what to leave behind for the mortgage company to deal with. So I find myself part of that hundreds of thousands Americans without real income and financially drowning in debt. Well as the French say "c'est la vie."

I am on of the I have spent a lot of time blowing the progress that I had made over the past 3 years. I got on the scale yesterday and found out that I was up to 190.4 pounds. This is the most I have ever weighed even more than my first pregnancy were I gave birth to 9 lb 11 oz, 22 inch, month and 1/2 overdue baby boy. That I got up to a whopping 165 lbs.

I have several friends that are clean eaters and swear by it. They have told me that they have more energy, feel great, and not so stressed out. I figure I need to do something because I am always tired, I am sick of feeling worst than cow dung.

My son is getting married on the 2 of October and I would really like to be feeling and looking better than I do now. I will be meeting his fiancé's family and their friends from back east for the first time and I truly want him to feel proud of his mom. I also have 2 grandsons ages 10 and almost 2 that if I am living with them I want to set a good example of eating habits and have the energy to keep up with them.

I am over the next few months or for life practice eating clean and healthy. I am going to take this journey with my dog and faithful companion Maddie and my many Spark friends. I hope you will enjoy reading about my ups and downs as I reclaim my life. I am going to try to blog everyday if my laptop (oh that is another thing my good computer died after many year of faithful service about a month ago so I have to use my laptop which is as slow as molasses.) I will report on my day what I have eating and what I did for exercise as well as how life is treating me.

Well to close I will give you a thought for the day.

Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed. ~~~Buddha~~~
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Positivity. Hope it found you and is guiding you.
    1170 days ago
    Hope this is finding you well.
    1170 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    I know this is from a long time back, but I hope all is going well for you.
    1223 days ago
    I came by to check on you, and here you are. Am sorry I hadn't stopped by earlier my friend. You are going through another transition stage.
    I've started over more times than I choose to count, some by choice, more than often not. The thing is change isn't always a bad thing. I know you already know this, but I don't ever want you to feel alone my friend. I'm always a few keyboard clicks away. Just as you always have been for me.
    I'm happy for you to be able to see your daugher and grandsons. Maddie will love all of the attention am sure! You will have a fun time next month at your son's wedding. Congrats~maybe more grandkids to love soon, yes/no?!
    3976 days ago
  • MINNIEME1114
    Jewitch, I found you when I was reading a thread about 100 days of LOA. I just wanted to take a moment to let you know that I'm sending you some positive vibes as you begin a new chapter in your life. I wish you all the best and hope that each day's adventure is rewarding.

    take care, Laura
    3976 days ago
    I was looking through my Spark Friends on my page to see who I hadn't "talked" to in awhile. I had intended to simply leave a comment on your page so you'd know I'd been thinking of you.

    I"m so sorry you're losing your home; I am a homeowner of 23 years and I can only imagine what you must be feeling. It's really nice that you can stay with your daughter. Hopefully, you'll be able to find work up there.

    As for your son "being proud of you", I hope you realize that your weight has nothing to do with that. You know that the really important thing about weight is that you feel better physically & mentally.

    3980 days ago
  • PETAL65
    My sister had the same problem, with teaching jobs..
    She left a teaching job in Florida to move to North Carolina to teach and live in the country..
    Now she too, like you has had a set back, no jobs...too much debt etc.
    She's moved back to Florida, leaving behind her husband and with my parents again.
    This isn't a bad thing mind you, just a means to an end...

    I'm so sorry you're losing your home, which I'm sure holds many fond memories and is near and dear...
    But focus on the light...the positive that will come from this experience...(I'm sure it doesn't seem like it now..sorry) but as we know...through crafting that we can alter through other means an outcome, using our forces to reap what we need.

    Jewitch if you need anything at all, DO NOT hesitate to mail me here...

    > emoticon
    3987 days ago
    Know that there are many people thinking of you, and sending positive energy, well wishes, or prayers (whichever you prefer) your way. We've all been through tough times, though some are tougher than others. Good luck on your journey. May the sun shine on you wherever you stand.
    Blessed be.
    3994 days ago
    emoticon Blessed Be. I'm sorry I had no idea you were going through this.

    I could offer a number of platitudes, but you are already wise enough to know them and resilient enough to fine the positive in your life as it is.

    If there is anything I can do for you, I am here.
    3996 days ago
    I am sorry you are going through such a tough time, and here's to a brighter future! There is another clean eating team, if you want to join. emoticon
    3997 days ago
    "Live from a point of passion and you will be guided" by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.

    That's what I'm following and have lost 7.8 lbs. that I had regained.

    Stay committed!

    3998 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7599351
    Best wishes. emoticon
    3999 days ago
    Yes, it is a very difficult period of time. Good luck with everything and I will look forward to sharing your new adventures.
    3999 days ago
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