Help - I don't know what to do.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Well I had an interesting call last night but now it's got me upset if it comes to making a decision. A friend of mine called me and said she may have a job opportunity for me. It would be about an hour and a half away from where I live so I'd have to move. The good thing would be, it could be a GREAT opportunity and a chance of a lifetime. She also offered to let me stay with her and would have the first floor of her house, which would save me a ton of money until I figured out what to do. It would also get me out of the dead end job I have now and get me closer to a city where there would be more to do, more people to meet, etc...

Ok, here's what's upsetting me. My cat... she won't let me bring her. Now to most people they would say it's a no brainer, cats come along everyday. But I don't feel that way. She's all I have. I lost my family to cancer over the last few years and I saved her from being sent to the SPCA. I've had her for two years and we're all each other has. I can't even look at her without it breaking my heart to think of getting rid of her. I would feel like I abandoned her. She was rescued as a kitten, someone had just dumped her and her siblings in the cold. She was the only survivor. Then she was given to me because the people that had her didn't want her. So I hate the thought of upsetting her life again. I'm a huge animal lover and it's killing me to think of losing her.

It's not a guaranteed job so I could be worrying for nothing...but I need to think about it. Do I pass up an amazing opportunity for her? People would think I'm an idiot. But do I lose the one thing I have that depends on me? I could try to find her a place to live temporarily until I could find a place of my own but I don't know how long that would take or how much more the cost of living is in the city.

I'm so torn... it makes me cry having to think about it. What do I do if it comes down to having to choose??

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  • no profile photo CD4756432
    being torn between heart and head..a toughie. theres really no right or wrong. just wondered what u chose to do and how ur doing now. btw..welcome back from vacation and happy birthday! emoticon emoticon
    3491 days ago
    I also love my animals. Taking the job doesn`t mean that you have to live with your friend. Even boarding your cat while you find a place can be done.
    A lot of people are allergic to cats. So take the job, but then find a different place to live. You can still see your friend a lot.
    Good luck and tell us how it goes.
    3857 days ago
    When I stopped by to wish you happy birthday, I saw this, your most recent blog. So I was wondering what you did, how you are making out. Would love to hear so drop me a spark mail or comment on my page.

    Arlene emoticon
    3857 days ago
    Laurie, hang in there. It's a tough decision - but I know jobs these days are hard to come by. But I wouldn't make any fast moves just yet because the job isn't guaranteed. Things to consider: Is it a job you could make a career out of? Could you see yourself retiring from there? Make a list of pros and cons before jumping into anything. Maybe closer to a city would be more affordable housing and you could live on your own. Please let us know how things work out. We're all pulling for you! emoticon emoticon
    3883 days ago
    Write it all down in two columns. Pros and Cons, and then put it on the wall where you can see it every morning. That sometimes helps me make life altering decisions.
    3883 days ago
  • HOPE2011
    EVAGSMOM has a great idea. I did that long of a commute for a long time and I did it because that was what I needed to do. My job was in one place, but my stepson lived 1.5 hours away from there. We decided to move to be closer to my stepson and it was completely worth it. And it all worked out job-wise in the end - I eventually was able to transfer within my company to a location closer to my home.

    Especially since the job is not a guaranteed thing, I would definitely consider options other than getting rid of your cat. Hang in there! emoticon
    3889 days ago
    Wow, what a tough decision. I have 4 furry babies (and one non-furry one, Eva). I love them so much. I know this sounds crazy, but is there any way to commute for a while? It wouldn't be fun, but maybe do-able until you could find your own place? Just a thought. Good luck.

    3889 days ago
    I have to agree with everyone else. Before I got my furbaby Snowy, I probably would have said take the job and give the kitty away. But I completely understand how you feel now. I love my furbaby so much. I will pray that everything will work out for you. emoticon
    3889 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6750958
    Wow, talk about the hardest decision you'll ever have to make! I agree with trying to find someone to kitty sit for a while...

    I have a cat with a pee pee problem but I still couldn't give her up! it just means extra work on my part but i rescued her and I love her so much!! I can really depend on her to comfort me when I need it...

    I really wish you the best of luck and I'll be praying for some guidance for you!
    3890 days ago
    I had to face this exact same situation recently. We were moving to a retirement community and, although they allowed pets, the cat would have to be crated every time we left the room for meals or activities just in the event a staff member had to get in during an emergency situation (broken pipe etc.) I still wanted to bring her. She was the only kitten left from a bad fire where here mother and all the other kittens died. My husband didn't want to bring her along even though, he said, he loved her too. Problem was - she wasn't friendly with anyone but us.

    I went grocery shopping a month before the move and when I got home, Stitch used to always meet me at the door. My husband just walked past me and went to get the rest of the groceries. When he got back in, I asked him where Stitch was and he said he had her put to sleep. He never asked me or prepared me in any way for this. I cried for days and really think I hated him. I even talked to a lawyer about a divorce but he encouraged me to think about it first - at least until after we moved.

    Once we got here and I saw all the other cat owners and asked what they do with their cats during the day, I got, "He/she spends most of their time in the crate and I can't even snuggle with them at night because, if I have to push my buzzer for help from a nurse, they have to be crated. So they make us crate them all night too. " Then I knew my husband had made the right decision although he didn't know these things at the time.

    Jobs, especially good ones are really, really hard to find right now. I know it will break your heart but I would say put her down but be there with her when you do it. Hold her paw and kiss and love on her and tell her she will be with your family soon and you will join her as quick as you can. I know it will kill you but you really have to do this. Sorry.

    3890 days ago
    Wow, what a tough decision. I love my furbabies and I can tell you now, there is no way I would give them up willingly. I agree with letting her know who much your kitty means to you and also would be looking into other housing arrangements in case you do get the job and for whatever reason she doesn't change her mind. Good luck!
    3890 days ago
    You have gotten some good advice here. I would check into the job a little more and find out why your friend doesn't what the cat there. If you find it is a good job opportunity, try to find someone who would be willing to "cat sit" for a few months for you. There is no way I would leave my fur babies behind. I pray that you find a compromise with your friend.
    3890 days ago
    Laurie, That is a tough decision. I would probably look for other means of living. Good luck on this tough decision.
    3890 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/19/2010 1:33:21 PM
    I don't think that you're an idiot. I think that you should talk to your friend about how much your cat truly means to you, maybe even show her this blog. Hopefully, she will change her mind. As long as you keep a clean liter box and I'm sure you do, as much as you love this kitty, I don't see what her problem is. Good luck! emoticon
    3890 days ago
    Is there someone who could care for your kitty temporarily? If so, stay with your friend for just a few months and save up until you can afford your own place and get your fur baby back.

    I hope it all works out for you!
    3890 days ago
  • RENA1965
    Ask someone to care for you cat and find other housing with this new job.. When things fall into place send for your kitty..
    Just make sure she is cared for by someone whom loves cats...

    My husband was loaned a wheelchair friendly cat- while he was waiting to die.. This cat was a replacement for his previous cat whom caught cat aids.. My husband had a little critter to cuddle while I was not home.. I had to give the cat back when he was too ill to keep it..

    Our loan cat is probably making some other lonely wheelchair user very happy... Good luck what ever you decide..

    3890 days ago
    I too love my cat, his name is Henry. And I know how you feel. Is there a reason for no cats? I mean is she allergic? I guess I wouldn't take the job unless I had my own place , it sounds like you are really stressed about this, is it worth it?.I'm thinking you will not be happy leaving your cat behind. Good luck.
    3890 days ago
    Oh my that is a difficult decision. I love my kitties dearly and I can't imagine how hard a decision that would be, especially since your''s has an extra special meaning for you. I would also suggest looking around there and seeing apartment/living options available. Any pet friendly places that would be acceptable? You might have to forgo living at your friends place, even though you'd save money, just to keep your kitty. Would that be a possibility? And is there no convincing your friend to let her stay? What is her main concerns about having a cat living there? Allergies, mess, etc? There must be some sort of compromise! I want you to have both of these good things in your life! Just don't give up, there must be a way!
    3890 days ago
    I think if you get the job you should try to find other housing also.
    3890 days ago
    you need to start doing your research on housing opportunities in the new place and this will help you to have more information to base your decisions on.
    3890 days ago
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