How to spell S T R E S S !!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Mom will be 80 in November, she recently fell and was not found for several hours, she does live alone. She is currently in the hospital, apparently she had the flu and was not eating properly, she was not taking her med's correctly and had a bad fall, plus has a bladder infection. I live about 12 hours from her and am the only adult child, so I am so STRESSED!. Most of the stress has been building for months!

My Dad passed away Oct-09 and then Mom placed my handicapped, retarded 54 yr old sister in a facility in June-10 (because she could not longer take care of her)! But, the biggest problem is that she also can no longer take care of herself, she cannot walk without assistance (ie. another person, or walker), has diabetes and heart problems. My cousin found Mom she had been on the floor for about 10 hours from all we can put together, she called 911. I have been trying to talk Mom into going into a facility for months now, but, she would not go. She goes to visit my sister every week at the facility plays Bingo with her and stays for lunch, she often brags on the great food they have there, plus Sis loves it there.

I just got a call from Mom at the hospital and she said that they are going to put her in a skilled nursing facility for about 3 months until she can walk on her own, the facility turns out to be the same one my Sis is in, just another wing. Well... I really do not think that she will ever go back home, she just is not able to care for herself, do basic houseowork or get around.

I know it sounds weird for me to say that this all turned out to be a blessing, but, I was eventually going to have to be the "bad person" and have her admitted, so I am so thankful God had this all worked out in his plan.

Please remember my Mom in your prayers I am really hoping that she will decide this facility is the best place for her.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I missed this blog. So sorry to hear about your Mom. It can be very stressful taking care of an elderly parent. My Mom has been ill and just recently got out of rehab also. She actually enjoyed it a little bit. Made friend with her roommate and some of the staff. Hopefully your Mom will settle in and decide to stay, especially with your sister there. Best of luck and remember to take time for yourself.

    emoticon - Kristsn
    3689 days ago
    God has this way of working things out for us doesn't He? I will be praying for you and your Mom. I know exactly what you mean when you say that it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. emoticon emoticon
    3690 days ago
    Janel ~ I am SO sorry that you are stressed, but I understand completely!!!! What a blessing that your Mom & Sis are together at the same facility!!!! That will make it easier on you for visiting too!!!! Always in my t&p's!!!!
    Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon emoticon
    3691 days ago

    I know the stress that comes from losing a loved one and caring for elderly parents. Just wanted you to know that I care.

    3691 days ago
  • JANICEB0414
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom falling but God works in mysterious ways. I was going to suggest that your Mom go where your Sis is, but then you said, that is right where they are taking her. Assisted Living is much more like being in a Vacation Hotel these days. My Mom resisted too at first. But she came to enjoy it. She made Friends. My Dad was with her for a little while until he died and it was easier for her when he was with her. When she got a Room mate that she really liked, it was better for her. But your Mom will have your Sis to be with. She will come to accept that this is her Home now. They have so many activities at the Assisted Living, I used to tell my Mom, just pretend you're on Vacation. NO dishes to do, no meals to cook, no cleaning to do. Every month they would have someone come out to entertain them with song or whatever. My Mom really loved when we all came over with the grand children. They had beautiful grounds for us to take her for a walk. My parents were 87 when they went. Of course they would have loved to live their days out in their own Home, but that was no longer possible for them. The Assisted Living had a loving Staff and lots to do. For the more healthy they even had trips that they could take. In the end, my Mom accepted it and she even came to enjoy the activities and the Friends that she made after my Dad died. She had Alzheimer's so there was no way that she could live alone and it turned out to be the Best thing for her.
    3692 days ago
    That is so wonderful that your mom and sis will be in the same facility. God does work in mysterious ways. I hope your mom realizes that she is in a good place to be and to let people take care of her even after the 3 months is up.
    3692 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5496460
    Perhaps, like your sister, she will find out it's not such a bad place after all and she'll be happy there. Plus she'll be able to visit your sister.
    It sounds like she needed the wake up call to realize that she cannot do it herself. No one ever wants to admit that they cannot. Hopefully this will be a win - win situation in the end. I'll be praying!
    3692 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6035648
    Keeping you and your mom in my prayers..
    3693 days ago
    Great post, I am impressed that you can see through the muddy circumstances, and find jewels of blessings hiding there, like having mom in a safe facility with family. That is a good thing, especially since you are so far away, and there isn't anyone close to stay with her.

    This is stressful, sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. So sweet that mom and sis can be together again.
    3694 days ago
  • JEWELS571
    As I was reading I was thinking that it turned out to be a blessing too! I am glad you didn't have to be the "bad person".
    3694 days ago
    emoticon we keep mom and you in my prayers. Is there any way you can become in charge of mom, do you have a power of attorney. My sister had to do this with my mom the other year to protect her. mom finally realised it was all in her best interests.
    3694 days ago
    Prayers for both of you...& I think you're right...the plan of a higher power has come together...& soon your stress will be even more relieved. How wonderful for that both your mom & sister are in the same facility.
    3694 days ago
    emoticon You and your my will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    3694 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear about your Mom and her troubles, a blessing for all. My thoughts and prayers are with her and your family.
    3694 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1315172
    Hugs and prayers!
    3694 days ago
    I know this will probably not make you feel any better, but my family is also facing a lot of stress in caring for our mother. It is very upsetting at the least to see her as weak as she is...she can no longer walk, or even stand up independently. It breaks my heart to see her in the condition that she is in. My prayers go out to families everywhere who are facing such difficult times. emoticon
    3694 days ago
    I am glad to hear your positive attitude about what has happened. I will certainly pray that your MOm will stay in the facility where she can get the care and attention she needs. It must be so hard to be so far from her. emoticon
    3694 days ago
    emoticon I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, but glad she is getting the help she needs. I can only imagine the stress of the situation. My thoughts and prayers are with not only your mom, but you as well.
    3694 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2362834
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon so sorry to hear about your mom ~ am thankful they have placed her for at least a recovery period, and perhaps she will grow to want to have the help. Gramps was happy as a clam when he downsized ~ we had his fav swivel rocker recliner, a small chest for his papers & things he used daily, a they had an awesome new tv he adored! I hope your mom's recovery goes well. Please let us know how she's doing. (hugs)
    3694 days ago
    We are going through similar problems with my dad and MIL and we went though it years ago with my mom and grandma so I know just how you feel. You and your loved ones are in my prayers.
    3694 days ago
    OH I so understand!!!! I too am an only child and both my parents have said they will never ever ver go in a home. I worked for years in them and can understand but still know when there is the need. My mum passed 2 years ago june 1, and now dad is 85, lives alone and I can't get down to check on him all the time. He is a worry but ............... so I do understand why you don't feel the bad person now. If dad has to go inot a home I hope it is a dr made decision.
    hugs and hope the stress lessens for you.

    3694 days ago
  • PVP1958
    At times like this, you just have to take the hit and do the right thing. I know because I've been there. Get thee to the hospital to be with your mother and stay as long as you can so you can see for yourself. Then, lovingly but firmly confer with her doctors and do what is right as best you can. And expect that what's right won't always be what's easiest. emoticon
    3694 days ago
    God bless you. I wish your mom luck in her recovery.
    3694 days ago
    Thoughts & prayers are with you and your mom.


    3694 days ago
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