TIBANKS

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He doesn't get it

Monday, May 02, 2011

I'm so glad it's Monday. Weekends are a real struggle for me, I have a hard time staying focused and on plan. Weighted myself this morning to calculate the damage, luckily only 2 lbs were sticking. Right back on plan to start the week, I know I can do this..Just need to stay focused.

My biggest obstacle is my Husband, he is forever sabotaging my way of eating, no matter what plan I'm following. We kinda grew fat together problem is I want to do something about it he doesn't. He just keeps eating and bringing in all the goodies to the house, it's horrible and it's so hard not to cave. I've gotten pretty mad at him, but he's not real sensitive..He simple says I should have more will power...What an idiot, I have a food addiction for crying out loud, and it's not like you cant stand to lose 80 lbs yourself buddy. Anyway he just doesn't get it, I'm frustrated and a little sad that I can't get the support I need from the person I love the most.

Despite the hubby obstacle I'm really loving the Sparkpeople website, this place has been so very helpful..I've been tracking my food making sure I'm getting in my suggested calories since I'm following this low carb eating. I've got a hold on the Spark book from the library, so I'm looking forward to checking it out. I'm still struggling with getting enough water, & getting active, but I'm planning a bike ride for tomorrow.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NEE4BUD
    Girl I understand my husband weighs 125 pounds soaking wet....and to top it off hes a picky eater....I find myself making separate meals a lot .........and he brings anything in the house.......He gets exhausted of listening about my stories of weight loss and different things that I have to talk to him about......Never stop telling them how it makes you feel, thats very important.......even if its later when the two arent fighting about the topic.......I cant even take him with me to workout because all he does is slow me down......funny considering his weight........But I decided to do this for me and only me and that is giving me the drive I need, Plus you got us if you need us.........
    emoticon Forget about Him its for you....
    3657 days ago
  • GABBY308
    Keep at it! My husband doesn't need to lose and mostly suppports me. We have a finished rec room in the basement, where he has a fridge, a mini oven and a microwave. That's where all the junk food is. Sometimes I think he's trying to sabotage me, (like when he asks if I want a helping of something when we're watching a movie down there together). Thats because I told him that when I lose the weight he has to quit smoking; but it's really me looking for excuses to snack on junk and blame it on him.
    There are articles written that say sometimes a significant other is afraid that if their partner loses weight the newly thin person won't find them attractive anymore and will lose them. They're afraid the other person will be more attractive and start to be more independent so they sabotage the efforts. Also, like DawnDMoore said the person may be enabling. They want a partner in their own food addictions because they don't want to change.

    Try sitting down with him and asking him if he's afraid of your losing weight. If he says "No" then ask him why it appears to you as if he is sabotaging you or belittling your efforts. Preface it with "I think..." or "I feel..." etc. not "You..." Let him know you need his help to be healthier and reassure him.

    Hope this helps. Hang In there!
    3657 days ago
  • TIBANKS
    Thanks all for the words of encouragement. My hubby really is a great guy we've been together almost 18 yrs. I guess he's just not ready to lose the weight, I do the grocery shopping and lately I just buy what's on my plan, I let him know what I'm making myself for dinner I always ask if he'd like me to make extra for him. I eat a lot of fish & chicken/turkey breast along with veggies..He's not to keen on veggies but on occasion he'll eat the poultry. I hope eventually he'll see my progress and decide to jump on the wagon.
    3657 days ago
  • KA_JUN
    Hope you got in a good ride today! emoticon
    3657 days ago
  • DTSOBEL
    I am sorry your dh isn't supportive of what you are doing. As you can see here, many of us are in the same boat. I have decided even if my dh wants to bring in "contraband" I don't need to let him sabotage my needing to be healthy. Yes, it is very difficult to resist. But keep the prize in mind! We are here to support and vent to. Good luck!
    3657 days ago
  • MISTYMSW
    My hubby is not supportive of the diet either. I decided that I would make sure I grocery shop on my way home from work alone. He doesnt have the opportunity to "sneak in" all of the sweets! This way if he wants something he has to get up and go to the store to purchase it. He usually changes his mind and finds something in the house. He will not vegetables at all. I still end up cooking him a different side dish for dinner. But overall he is definitely eating healthier whether he likes it or not emoticon Good luck with your hubby!
    3658 days ago
  • 3FAITHFUL
    I totally understand where you're coming from - even though I do the grocery shopping and buy healthy things and cook healthy meals, dh would bring home bags of chips, pies, sweet rolls, ice cream... My dh is lucky. He's thin and doesn't need to exercise to maintain his weight. He's always said I should have the willpower to resist and he shouldn't have to be penalized because I'm on a diet. We've been married more than 20 years - he's a great guy otherwise.

    What I do...I try to keep stuff in sight that is appealing and part of my food plan. I take his stuff and try to keep it out of sight so that when I'm looking for something I won't have to have a willpower battle. I wish you good luck. It's a difficult situation.
    3658 days ago
  • DAWNDMOORE40
    emoticon Don't give up! I know what it feels like when people around you have an addiction, and they can't see that your trying to change your life! It is called enabling and it happens in lots of relationships. Once one person decides they want off the addiction boat, it's hard for the other person to let go. Don't give up on yourself! Even if he isn't supporting you right now, remember you are worth the obstacles! You can achieve success! I hope in the future your husband will join you, but for now, remember you have us here on SP! We love ya! Have a blessed day! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3658 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2514968
    We will support you, don't fret! And who knows, maybe he will see you mean it and join you. For the first year my DH was not eating low carb, but once he saw I was not going to stop (his mother is a big yo yo dieter, and I guess he thought this would pass) he started trying my food, and actually found that he liked many of them. He's not as gung ho as I am, but at least he's eating better than he didi.
    Hugs,
    WW
    3658 days ago
  • CHELLEBO1
    Too bad your hubby doesn't support you. Mine was reluctant at first when I changed recipes to low calorie and lots of veggies. I was sneaky though and made several Cook Yourself Thin recipes that he didn't even know were low calorie. After he tried a few - he got on the healthy boat too. I also ground up veggies and snuck them in sauces. It is tough to avoid snacks. I have a daughter who still gets snacks and I have to stay away from them. I just make sure I have healthier snacks for me like PopChips, Edy's Fruit Bars and Skinny Cow ice cream. Then I can have a snack and not blow it.

    If he doesn't support you - you always have your Spark buddies to vent to and to help you. Remember we are here to support you.


    3658 days ago
  • FITLILA
    Sounds like your hubby's food addiction is a big obstacle for him, but don't let that get in your way. You're addressing your issue and you will be successful! Stick with your plan and know that we're always here for you! You have the spark! You CAN do it! emoticon
    3658 days ago
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