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Am I crazy?

Friday, October 07, 2011

I'm feeling pretty up and down these days. One day I'm feeling great and the next day in the dumps. Last week I got on three different scales and they all said something different. The range was significant. If I split the difference it still means I've gained three pounds.

I have never been so ashamed of how I looked that it kept me from going to the gym, the beach or the pool. But I did not like those big mirrors at the gym until recently. Yesterday at Zumba class I felt really good. I could see myself in the big mirror and felt pleased with what I saw. However, this morning I wore unflattering grey workout clothes. I looked huge. I looked around the room and once again I am the biggest person in the class. I almost wanted to cry. I've come so far but still have so far to go. What is about me that felt the need to even look around the room in the first place.

One minute I'm up and the next I'm down. Maybe I should just throw out those grey shorts. lol.
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    Blackrose, said it and said it well. You've come a long way don't stop now, keep sparking!
    3534 days ago
    I'm so glad to hear you say what I so often feel. Sounds like you are where I am. It is so funny that we get to this point and then we get to make a choice. Do I quit or do I keep going.

    You, my friend, will keep going. You have to. What other choice is there, really. Spark just makes this only choice so much more pleasant and fun.

    Glad you are a leader on this path. I'm proud of you!!!!!
    3538 days ago
    I agree with what the others have said. Don't let the scale OR other people determine how you feel about your progress. I know that's easy to SAY, but not always easy to do. I'm taking some college classes and decided this semester to add a couple of PE classes. I can't afford a gym membership and know that I would not always be diligent to show up there for a workout; however, I will show up for my classes and work hard to get an A.

    My progress is measured by my improvement--how many additional reps I can now do, and how much additional weight I can now move. I also took a lot of measurements before classes started (neck, arms, bust, waist, hips...even thighs, knees, calves and ankles!) and can already see changes there! I can now zip up my non-stretch jeans without laying on the bed, tie my shoes without pausing for breath, and I can hook my bra on the second hook instead of the last one!

    Someone mentioned water and that's another biggie. If my weight is up (and I only weigh on one scale at the same time every day) it usually means that my water intake was down the day before--or the sodium was up.
    3543 days ago
    They say you should wear form fitting clothes to the gym, no matter what your size. Not baggy ones. You will be surprised how things improve if you keep at it!
    3544 days ago
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    No, you are not crazy emoticon You are a woman and we compare ourselves to others. I would throw out the shorts. Treat yourself to something new to workout in and weigh on your scale - no others. Those few pounds can easily be water weight. emoticon
    3545 days ago
    I like what Blackrose said too. Everything takes time. And I'd go with tossing the gray shorts too.

    As for the emotional ups and downs, there could be MANY reasons for it, but I found that my energy levels were fluctuating with my iron levels a while back and that affected my moods. Another possibility is just that you're struggling with the emotional affects of the 3 different sets of scales. My advice (for what it's worth) - stay away from other scales. Use one set at the same time whenever you do decide to weigh and ignore the rest. My doctor's scales are always 10 pounds heavier than mine. Of course, I don't weigh in my "birthday suit" at his office and it is always about 3 hours later than my normal weigh-in time.

    You're doing great - just remember how far you're already come!
    3545 days ago
    First of all - please throw OUT anything that you feel is not flattering. There is no greater demotivator than knowing you could look better in front of other people - but you don't. Then find ONE scale, and weight yourself only on it, always at the same time of day - without shoes, heavy clothes, bulky anything. (I can't resist getting on those scales in hotel gyms either, but they are ALWAYS wrong. I only consider my actual weight the weight I see on the scale in my building's gym - where I check it about 5 times a week, always around 9:00PM when I go in to work out. Even on that one, where I stand on the scale makes a difference, so I always stand where my weight looks lowest - and watch it go down from there.) Of course you feel the need to look around in the gym. That is so human, so normal. NOT looking at other people would be strange. Use what you see as a motivator - maybe they've been at it way longer than you, or maybe some of them are trying to overcome other disorders, like bulemia, and build up again. Don't judge yourself by them - but who doesn't LOOK? Wear what you think you look absolutely the best in - every single time you go out where there are people. Wear make-up, even to the gym. Wear perfume that leaves a yummy aura wherever you pass (not too much though...) I am still not happy with all of my body, so I always wear something with sleeves. Til recently, I was always wearing long flowy tops, like Bea Arthur in Maude and Golden Girls - even to the gym. That is over now - I wear fitted tops, even tuck them in. But they still have sleeves - until I think my arms are totally toned! My arms have a nice shape, but they don't look firm enough for me. So I dress how I am comfortable, which means hiding what doesn't make me feel beautiful and flaunting what does. (I have great DD's and they always look good!)You will never do as well as you could if you don't feel as good about yourself as you should. So play to your best look - and be proud.And be proud of what you're doing to look better, feel better and be better. It's all RIGHT. emoticon
    3545 days ago
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    Nooo, not unflattering gym clothes!! It is amazing how the change in style of clothing can affect how we look and feel about ourselves, especially us women. However, you made it to Zumba class anyway. Keep it up :-)))
    3545 days ago
    I love the way "Blackrose" explained it. Do NOT compare yourself to others!!! you have no idea what others have gone through to "look" the way they do and THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH. One day at a time.

    By the way, do you track sodium in your nutrition tracker? I was blown away when I started tracking sodium. I thought I was doing so well - now it is rare for me to over do it on sodium
    3545 days ago
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    You are definitely not crazy - we all go through this. Try not to look at the big picture. If I gave you a straw and asked you to drain a lake - you would look at me like I was nuts, and tell me where to stick the straw. But if I gave you glass after glass of water, over many days - and then showed you that you drained that lake... that would be different.

    One day at a time, one step at a time, and one pound at a time.

    And throw out those shorts! You are worth some good looking clothes, girlie!
    3545 days ago
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