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"You are STILL skinny"

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Just when I though people had gotten over their stupidity and all the running commentaries about my weight loss journey had pretty much stopped for a while, I ran into this person telling me "you are STILL skinny".  I am not skinny, but what is the "still" about? Can't she find a better way to word it? Can't she just say "I am waiting for you to get fat again", or if she wants to be nice
she can just say " I see that you are doing great with your weight", that would be a better way to say it if she felt so compelled to share her thoughts. 
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I think that is very true, it is best to keep our thoughts to ourselves if they are not meant for sharing.
After saying that to me I got a bunch of statements from her on how I really must be starving myself with all the tiny food portions that I eat, and do I eat any lunch at all, and do I cook with salt, and do I eat any junk food, and how did I cook my dinner, etc.
I think that poor woman was projecting on me all of her excuses to not address her own problem.  Although the questions were annoying, it was really more about her than it was about me. I realized that she had her own answers to her questions about me, so it was no use wasting my time on even trying to address them. She did ask me again ( she had asked at least 6 times on previous occasions) for the Sparkpeople website, which I gladly shared with her again.  I hope she looks at it and finds a way to deal with her weight problem.
I will be glad to share my experiences if people feel that they can benefit from them, but I do not appreciate when they try to put me against the wall with their pre-conceived ideas about diets, bland food and starving yourself until you lose the weight and then you can go back to your old ways. That is what she decided that I had done. She does need an education about how to lose weight in a healthy way, but she was just not ready to listen.
People have their own journeys to follow, and they do have a choice. Staying unhealthy is a choice, too, although it is a bad one.
As usual, this healthy Journey is more enlightening than we may think. Our weight and our journeys seem to affect not only us but people around us as well. I wish I could help them better, but they must be ready to start their own journeys. It is great to have the support from our families and friends, but the real engine of change comes from within ourselves.

People with the wrong idea about how to lose the weight can stir-up stressful feelings by reminding us of the way we used to handle what gave us the weight problem. Let's not forget about that, since the stressors will always be there. 
The healthy journey does not end when we reach a healthy BMI. When that happens, the real journey begins, when we need to continue  doing healthy things for ourselves.
Let's keep on Sparking, let's never give up on ourselves.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You said it very eloquently "it is best to keep thoughts to ourselves if they are not meant for sharing." Wow, saying "you are still skinny" is such a negative thing to say.

    You're right, I'm sure she is feeling bad about herself. I'm sure you were very kind and patient with her and a GREAT role model to her. It is all about choices and I'm back to making better choices for myself and plan to join you at the healthy weight goal this year with continuing to evolve and learn more about myself. Thanks for your support too!

    emoticon emoticon
    3471 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    Very good thoughts here, Joyce. Everyone looks for the magic pill or magic bullet that will lift all of the responsibility off of their shoulders. This journey is as unique as we are, although their are similarities that can help us be successful like logging our food and exercising. You are so right about the real journey beginning when you reach your goal weight and not jumping off the wagon, but staying the course with all the good habits that brought you to that place. And I do know that emoticon !
    3471 days ago
    Isn't that irritating? At least she asked you for the Sparkpeople website (again). I'm sure you're an inspiration to her and maybe thanks to you she'll join one day and get sparked herself. If not, it's her loss. But you are doing great and should be proud of that! emoticon
    3471 days ago
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