I don't like the new me......

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Hello SP family

It's been about 9 months since I last posted a blog on SP. Well, I am ready to birth another blog....LOL

So, at the close of 2011, I made it to a size 10/12. Yay me....yeah right.

I have gained about 45-50lbs since December 2011 and I know why.

After being a heavy/chunky/fat/big girl pretty much all my life, I didn't like the attention of being a thin girl. It was too much work.

Yes, I enjoyed being able to shop wherever I wanted. Being able to sit in a chair and not worry about it falling apart but I felt naked Without my layer of fat, I was vunerable.

My confidence level went down hill and I got so depressed. I didn't think I was pretty enough. Anytime a man would approach me to give me a compliment I felt weird.

My biggest pet peeve was when I walked down the aisle of the grocery store. If I walked pass a guy, he would turn around to look at my butt! I hated this. This new body required something I wasn't ready for.

Don't laugh but I am serious. It's like everyone expected this sex kitten to come out of me when in reality I am as shy as the kids on Little House on the Prairie. But as a "Big Girl" I'm not shy. I love to be around people, I love seeking out attention. Weird huh?? Yes, I agree!

I am seeking some therapy and hopefully, someone can explain what the heck is going on. In the meantime. I have to work to lose these 45lbs over the next 6 months.

I'll keep you posted
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD7229242
    You are not alone, sometimes we feel comfortable in our layers at least you know that you can get help for the new you. Thank you for keeping it real. emoticon
    3380 days ago
  • GIGI09
    Thank you for all the motivation and advice. I appreciate each of you. This is why I love SP. The support system here is awesome.
    3380 days ago
    Gosh, but I totally understand and can relate !! There are a million billion books to help a person lose weight, but there are none that help a person reconcile their old psyche to their new physique. It's one thing to take the weight off. when we concentrate on losing we don't think about what's going to happen when we've actually lose the weight. Our bodies race ahead of our brains and emotions. When they finally catch up, we're lost.

    It takes time to learn how to appreciate our new bodies. And for many people, being thin is a lot of pressure and really scary too. So, no one thinks less of you because you regained the weight. it's something that happened to us all.

    But you know what ? you CAN be a success !! Take the time to appreciate your body on the journey. And think you'll be amazed by your body.

    Best of luck !

    3380 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/13/2012 4:09:00 PM
    This blog really spoke to me. I have been that way all my life, up and down on a roller coaster of emotion and weight. You will need therapy... I'm starting tomorrow. Believe it or not, a nutritionist can help you a lot with that too. Lots of luck!

    3380 days ago
    Good afternoon!

    I'm very proud of the fact you realized it's a layer of protection. I wear mine that way too actually.

    Getting attention that you're not ready for is definitely a challenge and I'm glad you're taking it to the therapist to get some healthy perspective and find out what's going on.

    We're all here for you and actually I know you're onto something with this in a major way not just for yourself, but a lot of other people too.

    The best part? You're not stopping and you're gonna start the process of losing again. THAT'S a giant step in the right direction as well.

    You go girl!
    3380 days ago
    This is precisely why some people get heavy in the first place. You are so astute to realize it is a layer of protection in a way. I wish you luck on your journey toward inner wellness. emoticon
    3380 days ago
    I can relate. It's scary when you're all of a sudden getting more sexual attention than you feel ready for. I remember being very uncomfortable at first, like you. I think it's great that you've taken the reins and decided to go into therapy so that you can reconcile your thinner self with your inner self. I've had a hard road making peace with my own sexuality, and I'm still fighting a couple battles here and there. It's hard. Maybe I should have gotten some counseling, might have done me some good. Perhaps I should still look into it.

    Keep your chin up and thank you for being brave enough to write abuot this! I bet a lot of women feel the same way!
    3380 days ago
    I can understand where your coming from. It is not for the looks factor alone that a person needs to maintain a healthy weight. So look at it from that idea? All the best to you.
    3380 days ago
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