Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I guess posting here is a good step. I've gained back so much weight. I don't know how i let this happen. I used to be a 'success story.' .. I lost 123lbs on my own for chrissakes and now what? Now i'm just another yo-yo'er. I can see it in people's eyes when they look at me. I can see them SEE me getting bigger by like the second.
I've wanted to come back to spark but i'm too embarassed to update my weight. I'm over 200lbs again. I was 137lbs!!!!!!!!!
I keep getting emails to submit my story for magazines because i'm such a success..and now what am i? I'm nothing. A loser.
So yea, my life has sucked but i can't blame life for me getting fat again.
This sucks.. it's like all my success is now void. i've basically done NOTHING good.
The worst thing is that i KNOW how to eat healthy, i KNOW how to work out efficiently..and i can't. i keep trying but i can't stick to tracking, to eating right, to working out..to ANYTHING.
I'm worthless and humiliated.