Starting over, again...
Saturday, October 05, 2013
Well, here I am. For various reasons I find myself at my original starting weight plus one pound today. I try not to obsess or be upset about regaining the 30 or so pounds I lost 2 years ago. LIfe was very different there and I obviously need to work on my coping skills!! I absolutely refuse to beat myself up for this. Nothing in my life has ever gone in a straight line!!
I muddled through a really awful half marathon 2 weeks ago. I know I should be proud of myself for finishing (and I am), but it really wreaked havoc on my body. Part of it was more weight on my joints. My knees, shins, and ankles have taken all this time to recover and my knees aren't back yet. So I've been struggling with finding some type of exercise to do. I can only do the elliptical so many days, because I find it terribly boring. I was feeling so frustrated with my body and I just decided to go for a long walk. As I left, I was internally yelling that this is a step backwards, that walking isn't enough. And I just started beating myself up--"I can't believe I let myself get like this" and "I've never weighed this much" and "I've really blown it." And at the same time I was getting texts from my husband and best friend encouraging me. I then realized that it is enough. I was out there, and moving, and sweating a bit, and it was a decent workout. And it can be enough for now. The main thing is to keep moving forward.