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The Big C is still a scary diagnosis, but...

Monday, October 14, 2013

A Spark Friend asked about how to cope with the fear associated with a cancer diagnosis and while I was busy all weekend with kids and grandkids home for my husband's birthday, I have been thinking about it too and figuring out what I might say. I think we all look at cancer in our own way depending on what our views are about life and death and religion or spirituality or faith. I also think that everyday is a new day and everyday above ground is a good day. I think that fear could always be present, but being fearful is no way to live. After all there are any number of things that could take a life in an instant, cancer is only one of the things that could change the length of time we live. Nine years ago when my lumpectomy was done the doctor that I had then told me that I probably wouldn't die of cancer that I would most likely die of something else. Somehow I found that reassuring, even knowing that we are all going to die of something someday, and knowing what ahead of time doesn't really matter. Being prepared might make a difference, but I also have a friend who said she would be late to a two car funeral! I understand that crazy logic, because I always have the intention of being on time, but it doesn't always work out that way. Death is a part of life and life is what happens while we are making other plans. I just try to do what seems right and good and just every day and what doesn't get done one day goes on the list for the next day. I live one day at a time, and discovered a long time ago that sometimes I go a half a day at a time or from hour to hour. The meds I take for anxiety and depression and the doctors I see must be helping. lol I'm getting older and not wanting to accept it, but I realize that time marches on. I've had a good life and if this is all there is then I am grateful for what I have and have had and for whatever else comes. I trust my husband and children to take care of me if I can't and what more could I ask? They have helped me thus far and I have given them some trials and tribulations, and we're all still a loving family. I have heard that the first 50 years of marriage are the hardest! So anyway I guess I have answered your inquiry in my own strange way. I think everybody comes to some sort of acceptance in their own way. Everyone's journey is different, like life. It does help to ask though and to know that even though the journey is different we are all traveling that road hoping to have the best journey possible for ourselves and for all of those we love. It's up to us to help one another when we can.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you so much for your thoughtful blog. It will be a help to many people. emoticon
    2842 days ago
    What a powerful and thought provoking blog. Thank you for sharing your views with us, and making us question how we think about life, cancer and death.

    I also appreciated reading other people's comments about your blog and it has challenged me to put some thought into my own situation.

    Love and hugs to you!
    2844 days ago
    Thank you for your well-thought out response to my question. It helps me a lot to learn how you and others have learned to cope with that issue. I know we each have to learn to deal with it in our own way, but it is comforting to me to hear how other cancer surviors deal with it.
    2844 days ago
    Very well said.
    I am living with stage IV breast cancer, and I try to stay in the moment and live life one day at a time.
    I have faith that I will go to Heaven when I die, that helps me a lot. I realized a long time ago that you can't live your life fearing death every day. I just pray that when my time comes, it will be peaceful and not prolonged and painful.
    2844 days ago
    You have a really good attitude about things. I'm sending good vibes and wishes for your health.
    2844 days ago
    Well written blog on an issue which touches us all in some way. Thanks.
    2844 days ago
    My daughter grew up with a girl who moved to Japan, had 2 kids and about 1 year ago was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. She came home with the children to get treatment which has been successful in halting the progression and is in the last of a series of treatments. The children have completely bonded with the grandparents and her husband has now joined her. They don't make the money that they did overseas, but they have a much closer community of support and dependability. At first everyone was overwhelmed with the shock of a 30 year old neighborhood child going through such a challenge, now we celebrate her determination and courage and persistent positive attitude that inspires everyone who comes in contact with her. We don't encourage her..she encourages us.
    You have written a beautiful commentary on recognizing the journey and making it the best it can be. We are at the mercy of life...and it is what it is.I appreciate my blessings...I know that life is too precious to waste. Have a wonderful day and keep Sparkin'!!
    2844 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    i remember when I received a letter telling me that i had prostate cancer 5 1/2 yrs ago. i did not know what to expect when i read the letter. i did not know what to expect until i talked with my doctor. i was at wait and see until i and my doctor decided that removal of my prostate was best. after removal, it was determined that the cancer was major. i went through radiation 3 mo after the surgery. as of today, i have not had any lab results since to show that the cancer has come back. i do not think about it very often, but when i do, i do wonder what is still happening in my body.
    2844 days ago
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