Saturday, February 22, 2014
That word can mean oh so much.
But today I am just quickly going to mention 3 things:
It is the 3 year anniversary of my mothers death today. I go into a semi-panic, meltdown mode at this time of year, every year . My anxiety and depression go into overload. I lose all sense of self. It's like I can manage much of the grief and sadness that overcomes me throughout the year, but these days around the anniversary utterly destroy me. I have not accepted I will never hear her voice or see her face again. I miss her dearly.
I am exceptionally accepting of people. I try to be positive, thoughtful and kind to all. Especially those I adore. In fact, my acceptance of people and situations is one of my best qualities. However, the few times in my life I need the support and acceptance and don't receive it from people I hoped could be there for me, crush my spirit. I made the mistake of looking for some positive acceptance where none was to be found. The result was hurtful.
I am accepting of the fact that not only did I eat poorly today, but actually enjoyed the 2 small servings of strawberry ice cream. My mother loved ice creamed it reminded me of eating sweet treats with her. I was only sorry they didn't have praline which was her favorite.
This time of year really gets me. I try to remain positive, but, well, sometimes you just gotta make your way through the Valley of Despair.
Thanks for listening.