The Fool

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Lately I have been concentrating so much on my spiritual development, and I seem to have conquered a lot in that area. My health has been staying behind though. It seems as if I can never find a balance between the different areas of my life. If it's not one thing it's another. Something is always lacking and something is always excessive. So be it. But as I have started tracking my fasting glucose readings again, I have noticed an unhealthy upward trend. Same in my weight, although slow and fluctuating.
Therefore I have decided to take the next few months to concentrate on my health again. Last time I made real progress, I had a burnout and nervous breakdown. I'm back up to the same weight I started at, and this time though, I am armed with knowledge and medication. One thing still lacks however. Motivation. I know I need it, and I know I don't want to die early like my dad did. Neither do I want to live sickly like my grandparents did. I know I have diabetes and I have seen what it has done to the people around me.
Why is it then, that I can't seem to find the spark to push forward? Is food really that great? Is it the thought of eating at a restaurant and sharing a memorable time with my family? These are plausible reasons. And if so, there must be a way to enjoy food and family time without jeopardizing my own health and well-being. I admit, I haven't given these things much thought. So here I am as a fool at the beginning of a journey, not knowing where she is going but one thing's for sure. The direction is forward, not backwards.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you everyone for reading my blog and for your kind words of wisdom.
    2709 days ago
    You can do it, Abby!
    You have a lot to live for! Find your motivation in that!
    I know you can overcome any obstacle that is thrown at you!
    It takes strength to open yourself up like you just did!
    Be proud:)
    & just incase you are unaware of it, you write beautifully!
    I enjoyed reading this blog!
    Stay Positive,

    2709 days ago
    You're no fool, Abby_Nieve. You're a sensitive, intelligent woman trying to work your way through a complex situation. It sounds to me as if you have what you need to find your path. We're all just works in progress, and it seems that you're well on your way to finding what works for you. Hang in there - the rest will come.
    2709 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4274730
    It sounds to me like you have a lot of motivation!

    I think the hardest part is not overwhelming ourselves. Just start with one small good habit at a time!
    2710 days ago
    Sounds pretty wise to me..... Forward, always forward!
    2710 days ago
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