blogging and learning
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
I know blogging is good for me. Putting myself 'out there' is a terrifying act, but the amazing feed-back and support I get from my SP buddies makes it all worth while. I swore to myself that I would blog once a week. But here it is 5 weeks later and I have done zero blogging. In fact, I have been a member of SP for 7 months and have managed to produce only 11 blogs. Based on my calculations, I am 17 blogs short of goal. Part of this is (of course) laziness. But I also feel like I have nothing whatsoever to say. There are bloggers at SP who are very gifted at picking away at the same subject----usually weight-loss related----day after day, week after week, blog after blog. I learn so much from reading these blogs! I am never bored by the repetition. I understand that there is a process. I always manage to learn something, usually about myself, either because the blog a) resonates with my experience, or b) helps me to identify ways in which I differ in approach from that of said blogger. Left to my own devices (ie: in a blog-free world), this would otherwise never happen.
I am not naturally introspective. I don't put much thought into why I am here at SP doing what I do. I just do it. I tend to limit my efforts to the areas of a) scheduling / doing fitness, and b) monitoring calories. Beyond that point, I do not venture. So while these other bloggers manage to contextualize their daily struggles with weight-loss, fitness, or maintenance in the wider context of their lives and their changing perceptions of self (yeah, you all know who you are), I neglect to do this work myself and instead I do a lot of absorbing and borrowing. I'm a great audience! ... which is not necessarily a bad thing.
I am particularly amazed at blogs that describe in detail that day's exercise regimen. Some of these blogs are long! And they are interesting. If I tried the same thing, it would look like this:
"Today I woke up at 4:30 AM, had a coffee, drank several cups of water, put on my running gear. I went outside at 5:15 AM. It was very cold. I did a 15 minute warm-up and started to run. The entire time I was running (today 50 minutes) I came up with one excuse after another as to why I should / could stop right then and there. I made it a point to ignore myself even though I wanted to die pretty much the entire time. Did I mention it was cold? (I really need to invest in some tacky, over-priced spandex sporting attire since cotton absorbs moisture and all that sweat makes me even colder). Finally I got back home. I spent 5 minutes cooling down on the street, went inside, did stretches, fed the cat, had a shower, got dressed, had breakfast, and logged-on to my computer: I have no idea how fast or how slow I might be running, or exactly how far, since I do not own any fitness gadgets. I approximate 8 or 9 kilometers based on Google map. Then I logged-on to SP."
Yawn, right? But I am going to make an effort to be insightful. Despite all my incessant inner-complaining when it comes to the actual act of running, I have to say that right afterwards, as soon as I am done, every damned time, I get this absurd sense of pride. I feel exactly like a little kid who has just figured out how to tie her shoe-laces. No other so-called 'accomplishment' of mine comes even close to making me feel like I might be 'accomplished'. And I am a crap runner! So what the heck???? I find it all very confusing. Which is why I don't spend much time introspecting. I try to just trust the process. And I read your blogs. They help. A lot.