I wrote this a few years back...hope you enjoy it
'TWAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS
'Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the house
Not a cookie crumb lurking. There must be a mouse!
The stockings were ripped off the chimney with flare,
In hopes that St. Nicholas left chocolates somewhere;
The kids were all sleeping with toys in their beds,
While visions of PC games danced in their heads;
And Mom wore her 'teddy', and I closed my MAC,
We'd just settled down for a smooch in the sack,
When down in the kitchen arose such a clatter,
I jumped out of bed… What the heck was the matter?
I ran down the stairs, almost tripped on the trash,
Kicked open the door, gave my big foot a gash.
With light from the fridge on my poor wounded toe.
I noticed the lustre of egg-nog below,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But our old puppy dog staring back with guilt fear,
With a tap on his rump, I cleaned up the mess,
Asked if he’s family, I’d have to say: “Yes”.
In search of a treat, to the fridge he came,
Just like the pooch of the Budweiser fame;
"Hey honey…what’s happening, anything missing .”
“Get your tushy back up here. We’re not finished kissing"
With a glance to the driveway, I spotted our car
But the door to the basement was slightly ajar.
And low and behold as I walked down to spy,
When I bumped into Santa Claus, ready to cry,
“It’s all the damn cookies, the low-fat ones too,
Gotta lose all this weight or next Xmas I’m thru.”
He turned on the PC and surfed on YOUTUBE,
He was dancing to Zumba and into his groove.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
There came old Granny, with videos found.
She wore a red sweatsuit, from head to her foot,
She had a loud whistle, she started to toot;
“Get movin St. Chubby and no more Big Mac”
“With Abs, that round belly could be a Six Pack”
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
To the treadmill he went, like a man in a hurry!
He wanted to quit, But old Nana said “NO ! ”,
The beard of his chin had the look of wet snow;
He huffed and he puffed and he blew thru his teeth,
And old Granny kept yelling “I WANT YOU TO BREATH !!!”
He gave me a look like I’d seen on the telly,
Biggest Loser’s the show, his face just said “HELP ME”.
He was running and pumping, a jolly old elf,
He was proud of his progress, in spite of himself;
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He finished, he showered and redressed in Red;
“Get rid of the junk foods where ever they lurk,
Think less carbs, more veggies, and fruit as a perk”.
He glanced at the mirror and took time to pose,
“I’m feeling much thinner. I need some new clothes”
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Hey look, one last cookie. I’ll just have a bite."
4 YEAR OLD SALLY WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLED WITH THE TOY PIANO
I GAVE HER
SALLY'S MOTHER ? ..... NOT SO THRILLED
WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY SEASON
SURROUNDED BY THOSE YOU LOVE.
MAY EACH DAY BRING YOU SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT
AND A SWEET MEMORY TO KEEP WITH YOU FOREVER.
AND MAY YOU SHARE YOUR SPARKLE
WITH SOMEONE WHO NEEDS A FRIEND