100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 114,652

Christmas heavy on my heart

Saturday, December 27, 2014

This Christmas day my little girl Zoey, the one I am holding, would have turned 15. While I was trying to celebrate the birth of Jesus, she was actually at the birthday party for Him and of course He included her since it was her birthday too. I should have been rejoicing, yet deep in my heart I was sad and crying silent tears.

This little girl came to live with us right after the new year after my dad died. My dad lived with us, a faithfilled, God loving man who lived and loved God. Our youngest son loved my dad, we called him welo (grampa) and after my dad went home, our home was dark, quiet and sad. It was like that for many, many months. My son(17) said all he wanted for Christmas was a dog. He'd had a dog before and they loved each other until he died. I agreed because I saw how he was hurting. We started looking against my husbands wishes. At the shelter, Zoey picked him, he didn't want her until an older man asked him if he was taking the dog because he was interested. Without hesitating, my son said yes and hugged her to him. That was it.
He brought her home from the shelter and she became his girl until he married 7 years later and to my relief he said Zoey could stay with us. She brought life, light, laughter and love back into our home. She was the angel that God sent to help us through our difficult time.

The last 18 months or so had been difficult for her, she was slowing down, walked slower, couldn't hear, hardly could see and for the last 2 years I moved downstairs because I could not carry her upstairs with my bad foot. I carried her around a lot, kept my eye on her always and did as much as I could for her. Some family members made remarks(yes it hurt) about how well she was treated, how I took better care of her than others, how I should just put her down, how she was going to die soon...

Well my girl went to doggie heaven on September 26, 2014. God let me have her for 13 years and I never regret the little I did for her. She did so much more. She gave so much of herself and loved all of us unconditionally. No matter how we treated her or what we said or did... she just loved and kept on loving.

This is my first Christmas without her and I am missing my girl, my friend who listened to me no matter what I talked about. She never interrupted me or judged me, she just listened and wagged her tail now and then. No one listens to me like that!

I pray for joy again, I pray that I can say her name without crying(like I am doing right now)
that I can remember her and the little cute way she walked and smile instead of getting sad. I pray that God will put a smile on my heart again and I pray that my girl knew how much I loved her and how much she meant to me.

My husband's little guy is Zekey and he has become very attached to me and I sometimes feel that it's not because he also misses Zoey but because he knows I need a friend right now and he is trying to love me back. Thank you Zoey for loving me and thank you Zekey for helping me along. I'm sure big sister is very proud of you!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2368 days ago
    Yup, I know your pain
    2369 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.