You’re not ready for Children.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Babies! Babies! Babies! That’s seriously all I have been thinking about the last few months. I have been continuously consulting my husband, family members, and friends about my desire to start a family with joy & excitement.
This past Sunday those ambitious were put to the test... And based on that experience I don’t think I’m quite ready for children.
This past Sunday the woman that conducts the Children’s Bible Study was MIA. Evidently at our church an honored guest was in attendance for the main part of the sermon. Therefore, the elders all needed to be in attendance for this sermon, but someone needed to be with the children.
I decided to do it myself for the glory of God & to volunteer my services...and well it didn’t turn out that great.
The ages were from 15 months to early teens and about 15 kids total. I was able to get some actual bible studying in, but most of the time I let the kids play. In general I was let down by my lack of performance & communication skills with kids. I was also let done by the actual experience (none) I have with children. Especially the 15M.Y.O. He was so fixated on trying to leave. I suspected he was going through separation anxiety and also didn’t know me or really any of the other children. After awhile my phone was no longer interesting and the poor kid started bawling. I had one of the kids go get his mom and once she came she seemed upset at me.
Overall I’ve been feeling depressed that last couple days since then. I was so set on starting a family before…and now I just feel empty.
All I could do is pray to God for redemption and Grace. Thanks for reading.