FALLENLEAVES28
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You’re not ready for Children.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


Babies! Babies! Babies! That’s seriously all I have been thinking about the last few months. I have been continuously consulting my husband, family members, and friends about my desire to start a family with joy & excitement.
This past Sunday those ambitious were put to the test... And based on that experience I don’t think I’m quite ready for children.
This past Sunday the woman that conducts the Children’s Bible Study was MIA. Evidently at our church an honored guest was in attendance for the main part of the sermon. Therefore, the elders all needed to be in attendance for this sermon, but someone needed to be with the children.
I decided to do it myself for the glory of God & to volunteer my services...and well it didn’t turn out that great.
The ages were from 15 months to early teens and about 15 kids total. I was able to get some actual bible studying in, but most of the time I let the kids play. In general I was let down by my lack of performance & communication skills with kids. I was also let done by the actual experience (none) I have with children. Especially the 15M.Y.O. He was so fixated on trying to leave. I suspected he was going through separation anxiety and also didn’t know me or really any of the other children. After awhile my phone was no longer interesting and the poor kid started bawling. I had one of the kids go get his mom and once she came she seemed upset at me.
Overall I’ve been feeling depressed that last couple days since then. I was so set on starting a family before…and now I just feel empty.

All I could do is pray to God for redemption and Grace. Thanks for reading.
- FL
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FALLENLEAVES28
    Thank you all!!
    2388 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12183607
    I thought I would never want to be a mother until I was blessed with my first son. He was a surprise that changed my life and how I felt about motherhood. Your own kids are easier than other kids. You will be fine.
    2390 days ago
  • SHAMROCKY2K
    The only separation your child would possibly have from would be YOU. The love you feel when you have your own is indescribable.
    2390 days ago
  • MASHUM02
    I have 4 children of my own and I work with children for a living....and sometimes I feel overwhelmed! You sound like you will be a great mom when you're ready...and I think you'll be ready before you know it. :)
    2390 days ago
  • WDSKMOM
    15 kids of varying ages is huge! It would be lot for anyone, even those with kids of their own. Don't be discouraged by this and certainly don't let it be a major factor in your decision when to have children of your own. You can't compare the two.
    2390 days ago
  • ROBBIEY
    It is hard even if you have kids to control and handle other people's children because they are not familiar with you. You own child will be different and you will be fine.
    2390 days ago
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