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Another good day! so far.....

Sunday, September 06, 2015

14 days sober and medication changes have sort of started me feeling better. I was unable to sleep until 330am then got up and took another klonipin anti anxiety med that I take to sleep. 1st one did not work so took the second one at 330am. then got to sleep and slept until 11am. hubby came to wake me up. I needed to sleep that much. He was hungry and wanted to go out to eat like we usually do. I had 3 eggs scrambled with spinach and a side of black bean salsa heated over my eggs and a side of brocolli. my usual sunday morning breakfast.

Drinking was an activity that we did together. Drinking is something I have in common with my husband. WE would go out for drinks and have fun. Now I can't do that. i am finding that my desire has returned to go to the gym and start training again for my 10 k coming up in november 14th. I had a thigh injury after my may memorial day 5 k run. so that put me back and I was so depressed about that...that is when I started drinking again...

I had not drank from jan to may then drank a week then had a dry june then july came and I started drinking until after my last vacation. My new day one is August 24th.

I lose weight when I don't drink, I sleep better, I should not drink because of the medications that I take. Two of them have warning labels. Both my psych doctor and my GP don't want me to drink...they judge me when I fail which doesn't make me feel good, shameful. I wish that I could drink in moderation. I can for a few days then that turns into more and more...then I get carried away...and have black outs.

heavy sigh.

hubby is taking a nap. He did not sleep well. I have been snoring these days and keeping him up...he doesn't like wearing ear plugs but that muffles out the noise. We were going to go to a play but missed it started at 2 and we thought it started at 3 so we will see that next weekend. I am going to clean my bathroom floor because it needs it really badly. Hair spray and dirt don't mix well.

Then I am going to go to the NAMI (national association of the mentally ill) support group meeting at 6 pm. It is a free support group that meets 2 times a month. I guess I need some outside support since I have been making these medication changes, following doctors orders to do such.

And I am not seeing a therapist because i can't afford one.

So between these forums and support group and a couple of friends to help keep an eye on me along with hubby. I think I will be fine. I think hubby and I are going to go to a park and go hiking even though it is hot an humid.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't know if it's good or not to be able to drink moderately, as I can, as I rationalize it and can hardly manage a few days without it!
    And I am not losing any weight despite eating well and exercising.
    My sober sister said she had to relearn how to do everything without alcohol, but I think I told you before, she has been sober 25 years and is the fun-nest person I know.
    2123 days ago
    Hope the meeting helps.
    2143 days ago
    I'm always happy to see how much you're learning about yourself. You have struggles to get through but you keep working through them.

    emoticon emoticon
    2148 days ago
    you inspire me Bizi .. by all means a get together of like minded people is always good .. the times that you think you didn't get any thing out of the meeting .. it was someone else's turn to learn strength and power from you.
    You are so open and honest when discussing self and issues ... that is who I am as well .. we just need to remember even professional people doctors and the like are just people .. they can be ruled by ego as well as on huge power trips .. just smile knowing that you alone know far more about your body and what it wants and needs ..

    Congrats girl ... there is change in the works .. all the very best in preparing for your 10K .. I could use a fire lit under my behind in the exercise areas of my life .. its been cold, rainy and windy so limited to indoors .. Happy Labour Day dear friend ... huge hugs .. D

    2148 days ago
    Good, Bizi! Give yourself a hug for me.
    We all need support.
    And love.
    Can't get enough.
    I practice RAIN:

    Recognize what is
    Allow myself to feel and experience it
    Investigate the root of it
    Now - be present in this moment in all of it's facets.

    It helps.

    2148 days ago
    You're doing great Bizi. I'm really chuffed to read how well you are doing.
    2148 days ago
    Keep it up BIZI ! 14 days is TERRIFIC ! Hopefully you'll get back into running. The support meeting is also a great idea. I wish I could attend one in my area. Drinking together with my sweetie is something I always enjoyed also. But I discovered we can sit and talk and listen to music on YOUTUBE and I can be sipping ice water - and I STILL have a great time. I don't HAVE to have alcohol to enjoy time with my Johnny.
    2148 days ago
  • MAMALOU1942
    emoticon and I wish you the very best. That's all I can say.
    2148 days ago
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