Good to Be Here

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein (or so says the internet)

It may be hard to believe, but not tracking my food, eating whatever is handy (and not necessarily even tasty), not exercising, working night shift and not holding myself accountable hasn't been working. My ass isn't quite as big as it was at one time, but it has been steadily growing. Wider and wider and wider... my trunk is utterly and completely full of junk.

In fact, the only thing that has ever worked has been tracking every morsel, exercising religiously, and being focused on eating whole foods and avoiding putting junk in my mouth. Not quit obsessed with the whole thing, because that doesn't really work in a sustainable way, but a happy medium of being focused on a goal and making a daily commitment to get there--that is what worked for me.

So why haven't I been doing that? Isn't that the MegaMillions PowerBall question for most of us?

Well, I have been doing the eating better thing for about 16 days now. No junk food going into my face, I've been very focused on quality and making better choices. I haven't started tracking, I haven't found a gym yet, but just this one small change has made a difference. 5 pounds of difference. Long way to go.

That making better food choices thing and losing weight won't last long. Just eating healthfully, well, that's not going to get the job done. I have a very long haul ahead of me, and I am now admitting to myself that:

1) I still do not want gastric bypass. No no no no no. Me no wantee the surgery but I can't keep living like I am.
2) I have to make great food choices at least 90% of the time, and not horrendous ones the other 10%.
3) When you are as heavy as I am, you can lose without being strict in the early days and that isn't necessary a good thing for establishing good habits.
4) I have to track my food, and that means weighing and measuring some of my favorites, like nuts and salad dressing.
5) I need to exercise for a wide variety of reasons, after all, exercise is the fountain of youth. I loved how I felt when I ate well and did tons of yoga and worked out until I was sweating like menopause in July.
6) Blogging about the journey helps, it's a less high school form of peer pressure.

So, short term future goals are as follows:
Excellent food choices
Establish an exercise program
Track it all
Blog about it

I have to go shop for a gym. I have to deal with the people who sell gym membership type things who may look at me like "oh, here is some free money, pay the monthly dues and never show up with this one for sure". I'm not having any luck finding a gym with a pool, which annoys me to no end. So instead I will look for a place with kickboxing and yoga and nice machines and no smell of body funk and toe jam, what more could a girl need? Oh yes, a freaking pool.

For those who remember me and are wondering about my last few years in hiding, here is a recap:

Got Divorced, stress ate, quit tracking and exercising and got fatter

Started kayaking

Finished grad school
Moved to the South with the love of my life
Near the Ocoee River... this lake has a real name but we all seem to call it Lake Ocoee
Started Working and Playing in the South

Hated Job
Moved Further South
View from my back deck
Love Job

Got engaged

Worked myself half to death doing night shift
Sunrise in Georgia
Better Half finished grad school
Switching to better schedule and working less in a month or two. WOOOOOT!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    OK I was restricted on my words! Please keep blogging! I enjoy reading your blogs and I'm here for you friend. 🌟Denise
    1916 days ago
    Friend!!!! And I JUST MOVED FROM GEORGIA!!! Oh the weather tho😰 I'm in Germany now eating carbs and drinking all the beer. At least the south makes you sweat haha. I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but happy for your new relationship!! Xoxo D
    1916 days ago
    Welcome to Georgia!!! I'm here in Atlanta, and it looks like you may be in the north Georgia mountains? Is it stalker-y that I feel excited that a Spark-celebrity has now moved to my home state?

    I have missed you, and your amazingly inspirational blogs!

    I, too, was happily sparking "back in the day", then took a multi-year, weight-regaining, stress-eating hiatus. Now it's 2016, and I'm back at, and I was so happy to see you here, too!
    1951 days ago
    Welcome back, have missed you for so long. Jason.
    2005 days ago
    Welcome back, you were totally missed! Just keep sharing, we are all here to support you!

    RE: swimming: Do you have a college or university anywhere nearby? They tend to have "public pool" hours, so while you might not be able to join, you can at least swim if you want to...
    2007 days ago
    Whew! What a whirlwind you've been through!

    So SUPER to have you back among your SparkFamily!

    Sounds like you are finding your "path"...we all have such unique journeys.

    Here's some wisdom as shared by another wise fellow Sparker, WATERMELLEN:


    I have found the zero sugar / zero processed carb path to be extraordinarily freeing!

    2007 days ago
    Yay!!! It's so good to see you again. Ditto ditto and ditto! I'm with you, it's not as exciting as the first go around but we know what we have to do. Yipppeeeeee
    2008 days ago
  • _JODI404
    So glad you are back!! Your background pic is gorgeous! Where in GA are you? (I'm in Atlanta).

    Yes, was just talking with hubby tonight about WHY is it so hard for me to do small things that don't even take much time that will make me feel so good. (stretching, inversion chair). It is the mystery mega million dollar question! :) You would think it would be easy to do things that you know make you feel good!

    Congratulations on your engagement, and finding a job that you love!! How can you be Jennswims without a pool? There must be one somewhere!

    Looking forward to your blogs -- your sense of humor and talent for writing have been missed!

    Best wishes for continued happiness and success on this journey, day by day!
    2008 days ago
    Loved your blogs! I followed them from before. Glad you're back! I'm all too familiar with eating my feelings. You described your goals really succinctly.
    2008 days ago
    So glad to hear from you and have you back!
    2008 days ago
    This weekend, for my five pound reward, I bought myself a food scale and a food processor. I humbly acknowledge that I am balls at eyeballing and that sometimes doing things the hard way is dumb and there are things out there that will chop and mix FOR ME. I made an aioli by hand a few weeks ago and was dismayed to find that I couldn't track it as strength training. ET TU, SPARK.

    Also, I cook now? Like, a lot. And pretty well? Roughly 90% of the open tabs on my iPad at this very moment are recipes :D

    I finally sold my POS house and bought a lively townhouse where I pay a modest fee and someone comes to shovel the snow and mow the grass and I don't even have to think about it! I also broke my 7+ year vow of celibacy and have been dating a lovely dude person for a year and a half.

    So enough catch up for now, let's kill this thing :D
    2008 days ago
  • -LINDA_S
    Nice to see you back. Best of luck!

    2008 days ago
    Was so happy to see your name pop up in my Friend Feed! I'm glad you are back!!!!
    2008 days ago
    Welcome back! We've all fallen off the wagon and gotten back on. You need to find what works for you (I'm still searching at times, LOL.) Is there a YMCA anywhere near you? They have pools.
    2008 days ago
  • WINNIE1978
    Welcome back! Congrats on finishing grad school and on your engagement!
    2008 days ago
  • BUTTERFLY-1976
    2008 days ago
    Hot damn you're engaged! Yeehaw! If you absolutely must approach the gym membership peeps, bring a jug of protein powder as a bribe. A twisted 'gym-warming' gift if you will. I really hope you find a decent pool instead though!

    Beautiful pics. Welcome back girlie!!!

    Big squishy hugs,
    2008 days ago
    I'm so glad you're back - for yourself, and selfishly, for me! I've followed you since it signed up for Sparkpeople several years ago. I LOVE you blogs! I completely get how our personal lives going south can completely derail our healthy lifestyle. Been there, done that. - and I have 35 lbs to prove it!
    Good luck and welcome back.
    2008 days ago
    Glad to see you are blogging again. Congrats on engagement when is big day? You live where it is warm you can always start with walking while you look for a gym. Do you have YMCAs near you they have pools in them here? I will start joining you.
    2009 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8639152
    Glad to have you back!
    2009 days ago
    Good to see you back.
    2009 days ago
    Glad to see your u back on Spark People! First step accomplished! Great that you are thinking through the strategies you need for reaching your goals. Keep up the great work!
    2009 days ago
    Glad to see you back!
    2009 days ago
    Jenn, so great to read a blog post from you. Keep it up girl!!! πŸ˜€πŸ‘
    2009 days ago
    2009 days ago
    emoticon Jenn! It's great to see you! emoticon emoticon
    2009 days ago
    LOL!!! I *do* in fact remember you but forgot that I have been subscribed to your blog all this time. What a pleasant surprise!!!

    Well, you know the drill, right? We are here for you, each other and hopefully ourselves.

    emoticon AND emoticon
    2009 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14212757
    2009 days ago
    You're off to a great start. Trying to make a lot of changes at one time can be overwhelming (at least for me, but I'm a procrastinator). I did my first weigh-in today and I've lost 5 lbs. Setting short term goals works for me. Good luck!
    2009 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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