My Revelation

Friday, February 19, 2016

Upon my return to Spark, I reached out to many friends and came to a revelation. Spark is such a big part of the happiness I have found, and yet I somehow let spark slip away.
I joined Spark in May 2009, a time when I was at my lowest point both mentally and physically. I had left my marriage in November 2008 and moved into my own home. Questions and uncertainties filled my days. Did I do the right thing for me, for my boys, for my family, etc.?
Sometime during 2012 I was finally feeling better about myself, in large part to my Spark family. I was eating healthier, exercising daily and made the decision to try dating again. Being someone who does not frequent liquor establishments (pretty much what most singles in this area do), working with people who were married or in relationships, and with most of my friends married, I decided the internet was my best option.
Internet dating is a pretty crazy world. A world, I quickly learned, was full of men wanting one night stands, a mistress, and a perfect body, even those who were in worse shape than me. My newly-found, and still fragile, self-esteem took a beating, I was targeted by those attempting to extort money (I thankfully, quickly learned to spot them and learned that often-times women posed as men because they know what other women want to hear), had my heart broken and was ready to give up in April 2013. I was on a couple free sites and had paid for a one-month trial with The month was up and I was not going to renew. An email from Match, offering a 25% discount for another month, changed my mind. Within two days I received a message from Mike. We hit it off right away talking for hours on the phone, emailing and texting throughout the day. Ten days after the first message we met for coffee. Thirteen hours later, we said goodnight. A week later we both canceled our Match subscriptions, and have been together since. I have found the love of my life, and I fall more in love as time goes by.
With my new-found happiness, my Sparking time began to lessen. I did not plan it that way. I wanted to keep in contact with all who supported me, to encourage those who were in the same place I had been only a few years back, and continue the healthier lifestyle I had been living. Being away from Spark so much, my old unhealthy habits crept back in. I was not eating what is good for me, stopped exercising, and the weight I had lost came back. Mike has proven that he loves me no matter what size I am. This is both good and bad for me. Good that I know it is me he loves, not what I look like; bad because it made it easier to slip into old routines. What he wants is for me to be happy with me.
So my revelation is that I need Spark and my friends here. I need support and also to be able to support others in the same boat as me. I know I can back on track because I have done it before. I can not let yesterday define today.
I am so thankful for those who continued to contact me after I went AWOL, am sorry that I was not here to support and encourage my friends, and have recommitted myself to my goal of a fit body and healthy lifestyle. I have so much to live for.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OTEN36
    Dang, How did I miss this blog. So sorry about that GF.
    Happy to hear all is well with you and Mike also. emoticon
    I hope you have a wonderful Easter Weekend.
    We are meeting my daughter and her hubby and my 9 month old Grandson
    in Park Rapids for Lunch. A place Called Good Life Café.
    They have a Cucumber Beet Burger I want to try. It's actually made with black beans then has beets on top. I'm going to stick with my diet the best I can so they say if you can decide on what you want from a menu while at home you make better choices. I'm super excited as I've tried bean burgers half a dozen times with no luck getting them to stick together. I'll take pictures for you.
    What are your plans?
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1948 days ago
    Hey, welcome back!
    There is room for healthy living AND Mike, and everything else in your super busy life. Seriously!
    Healthy living and healthy eating don't really take up more time than unhealthy living and unhealthy eating; saying hi on Spark every now and then not much.
    emoticon emoticon

    1966 days ago
  • TEMPEST272002
    SP has been life-changing for me too & yet I also find myself drifting away and returning, drifting & returning. The support for us all is so incredible. Glad we've both found our way back again.
    1982 days ago
  • TERRY631
    So happy you're back, Leanne and very happy to see that you and Mike are thriving together :)
    1982 days ago
    I've missed you and seeing you here makes my day. I'm so very glad that you and Mike are still happily together, too.
    1982 days ago
    emoticon No apologies, no look backs, only look forwards. Congratulations on the successes in your life. Finding your self and finding true acceptance with a life partner. It is nice to have you back!

    I recommitted to Spark in Sept 2015, and actually approached it in a healthier way. I signed up for Sparkcoach, did the beginning challenge, and then the 30 days small step challenge, so I have developed the tools to get me through my journey. It won't be over, so I am not worried about the destination, I will enjoy the journey.

    So welcome back!! emoticon emoticon
    1983 days ago
    No need to apologize Leanne. One reason I stay with SP is the people I meet and have met in person. In today's world, Internet friends can be more valuable to our egos, our spirits, our self-esteem, our self-confidence than those in real life.

    So happy for you having taken a chance and ending up with Mike. Wishing you much happiness together. emoticon

    1983 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    I m so happy you have found your true love, that he loves you for who you are, not about size. That being said, we have to do this journey for ourselves, and you have discovered so. Wishing you all the best with now continuing with Spark People. I am sure that since Mike wants you to be happy, he will support your decision to now start working this getting back into sparking, You are truly blessed with the incite that you realize what you need and want to continue in this journey. One day at a time, small steps, and tracking, and you will be right back in the groove.
    1983 days ago
  • DEE107
    1983 days ago
  • DEE107
    1983 days ago
  • _LINDA
    It is so nice to hear of a happy ending. So wonderful you have found true love and weren't harmed physically or financially by those online dating places!! There is no other website that has the kindness and support I have found on Sparkpeople. The friends I have made are loyal. I stay because they stay and some are not finished their journey.
    Perhaps you and your love can both go on this healthy journey as one. Its so much easier with your spouse on board. Much more fun too.
    All the best in reaching your goal!
    emoticon On!
    1983 days ago
  • CANDOK1260
    emoticon blog I too slip away from spark for awhile but am back now. emoticon for sharing
    1984 days ago
  • PCOH051610
    You are such a lovely person and I remember when you met Mike and how excited and nervous you were. I cannot tell you how happy for both of you.

    1984 days ago
  • no profile photo SCANDEE
    1984 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.