My crime was dropping a teaspoon -- it was a lightbulb moment
Friday, April 15, 2016
So it's the 2 year anniversary of dropping a teaspoon accidentally. i was preparing Sunday dinner from scratch. A lean pork loin with roasted vegetables.
Someone came out to say something and for some reason, I startled and dropped a teaspoon. It made a small noise.
This so angered the other person that they called me an "Effing Inconsiderate Idiot" for interrupting their train of thought. Effing isn't the exact word; it was the actual 4-letter word.
While I was being glared at, I realized they wanted an apology. But my mind went, OMG, I've got to cut my losses and leave. They are always angry at something. Nothing I do is right.
I had tried for 7 years to live with a high level of anger, tantrums, and the refusal to discuss anything with me. I felt I had to give it a chance because there was a psychic cost to leaving I wasn't ready to pay.
I hoped nothing showed on my face. After dinner I called someone in another country and began making arrangements to leave. In 3 weeks time, I had broken away.
I don't think I would have had the energy to do everything in 3 weeks time if I hadn't been working out and eating right. My esteem had been boosted by the attention to taking care of myself.