SAD, MAD AND FRUSTRATED!
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
I am SAD that I saw a number on the scale I never thought I would see again. I am MAD that I allowed food to take over my life again to the point that I have gained 20 pounds in only 4 months!!! I am FRUSTRATED with myself because I know why it happened and as I saw it happening I did not stay committed enough to prevent it. July 2015 I joined WW and lost 11 pounds which made a total loss of 46 pounds. When finances got tight I had to cancel my membership and without that weekly weigh in I just let my late night snacking take over. And with the new point system I just felt deprived. Yes I know they are trying to steer you away from the sweets and to more healthy eating but I am one that when deprived will give in a go over board yep there came the 20 pounds! I tried tracking at home but it was not the same. I tried My Fitness Pal and I just could not get into it so I decided to come back to Spark People. I wake up every morning with good intentions and I do really good until after dinner. I am a snacker and I try to leave enough points, calories, whatever I am counting, to take that into consideration but once I start snacking I can't stop. I know I have real issues when it comes to food but I have to conquer because I do not want something that is suppose to sustain us and keep us healthy to kill me! I keep my journal on the table so that I can look at it and track what I am eating and I know in an instant how many points or calories I have had that day and how many more I can have. I can't count the pages that filled out half way thru the day because I just fail to track or tell myself what is the point. Some days I log perfectly, until after supper. BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY! I have logged my breakfast and I am really going to work on this. Most of the advice I get is to take a walk , a bath, read or find something to do with your hands. All of those are a problem for me. I am disabled and cannot take a walk. I cannot take a nice bath because I cannot get in and out of the tub. A shower using a shower chair and hand rails are difficult. As far as my hands go I have to deal with numbness and pain. I no longer have the attention span to read. I have an auto immune disorder called CIDP (chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyradical neuropathy). It is related to Guillian Barre Syndrome and it mimics MS. Okay so enough of the negative and on to the positive. TODAY IS THE DAY I TURN THIS THING AROUND!