Still trying to figure it all out!!
Monday, June 20, 2016
So I've fallen behind on my blogging again and honestly it's because I've just had a rough few days eating wise and was not in any mood to blog about that. My stay within my calorie range challenge went well for about 8 days with me even losing 4 lbs but then I just lost my drive and my eating got out of control and sadly according to the scale those 4 lbs are all back today.
I don't know what I've been missing lately but that killer focus that has led me to much success in the past is just absent. I just feel like I need to give myself some accountability and that's why I was so excited about the 30 day challenge but then eventually it just felt like I was all alone doing the challenge. All the people who had expressed interest weren't posting or doing anything that I could see and so I felt like I had no one to cheer on and no one to cheer me on. I thrive on the energy of people who are pushing for their goals and without that energy my drive just fizzles.
I also didn't have the energy of all you lovely folks because I wasn't blogging either and so I just had a couple horrible days and right now I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here. I don't know if I want to do another 30 day challenge because I just feel like failing at yet another one will not be good for my morale. I've also been trying to find an accountability partner because when I've had my greatest success here on Spark I had one.
When I started Spark in 2013 I had a
accountability partner! We totally clicked personality wise and we were both fighters and with her help and support I got down to 158 lbs from 184 lbs in just 3 months but then she just pooof... up and disappeared. I sparkmailed and sparkmailed (because that's how we used to communicate) and then I even emailed and emailed(because that was our use in case of emergency means of communication) but nothing. I swear I even tried checking obituaries because I was so concerned. Anyway after losing contact with her life got in the way and I hopped back on my 20-30 lb roller coaster to which I am still strapped in to this day.
I soooooooooooo want to get off this ride though because I am sick and TIRED of it!!
So I'm trying again. Going to get back to daily or at most every other day blogging. I'm also going to challenge myself from today to 15 days within my calorie range. I think that's manageable and that's what I'm going to do. I'm also looking forward to being inspired by the 5% Challenge that's starting this Saturday.
I know that this isn't much of my usually positivity and energy but I guess all in all as my blog title says I'm just still trying to figure it all out. Let's all