Thoughts on a Binge
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
I binged on chocolate last night. It was a conscious choice and I felt guilty afterwards, as well as physically ill. Yuk. On the other hand, I had an idea going in of how much I was going to eat and I stopped after I ate it. So what caused the binge? Well, I wanted all night to have an ice cream bar but I didn't because I felt I shouldn't. Then, as soon as my husband went to bed, I hit the chocolate. The irony is that the ice cream bar would have been totally innocuous. A 100 calorie Healthy Choice fudge bar. If you haven't tried them, they are yummy.
I would have been better off having what I really wanted, but I kept telling myself that I should not fall into the habit of having a snack every night. But, who cares as long as it's part of a reasonable day of eating? I need to re-think what I consider "too much" to eat on a daily basis. Maybe part of what I feel is "too much" is my body needing more calories because I have cut back on bingeing. I remember a period of several years when I was not bingeing at all and how I was surprised at how much I could eat as a normal person with no effect on weight. Maybe that's happening now.
I still felt a little sick when I got up this morning, but went for a run and feel better now. As usual, all the chocolate gave me lots of energy and I had a great run.