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Recovering from a binge

Monday, September 19, 2016

About a week ago, I was feeling down as I had been sick and not able to do as much as usual. The virus lasted almost 2 weeks and I got more depressed each day, purely from being a bit housebound. The way I have been dealing with loneliness and missing my family this time back has been to stay active and move alot. Well getting ill put a stop to my activities and I finally got so down that I succumbed and had a 3 day off-plan binge. My DH was out of town for work and well, when the cat's away, the mice will play! (or eat in my case)

It opened the hunger beast in me again and I was in the middle of my 4th morning of binging when a friend called who had a problem and wanted to take a walk and talk about it. Needless to say, I went and we walked for a few hours. Listening to her brought me back to reality and a strong feeling of gratitude for having an issue ((overeating) that I have the power to do something about. I was also pulled out of my own thoughts and troubles by being there for her.

And after that afternoon, I was able to get and stay back on track. The week since has gone pretty well and while I haven't lost much, my jean size has gone down again.

I have to be honest though. That binge really scared me! I have been doing so well for months now and really thought I had a handle on this. And then my down feelings came back and I used food to manage my negative emotions, thinking at the time I would only do this for one evening. Well, you know where that leads to...

If my friend had not called, I may still be in binge mode, because at those moments I don't care enough about myself to get out and walk and leave the food. And I tell myself that I will only eat like this 'one more day...' and then get back on track.

Oh, the lies I tell myself to be able to indulge.

So even though this week has gone well, I am humbled by what happened and will be extra alert to my emotions and how to deal with them. And no, in case you are wondering, binge food and isolating does not make you feel better. But I guess we all know that. Why oh why does the brain forget that sometimes?

On a positive note, it lasted only 3 days and while I did gain weight, a little over a week later I have taken that weight off again. I have been humbled and will not wake up the appetite beast again if I can help it. Once it is awake, there is an overwhelming need to eat and an appetite for junk food that demands to be filled. It obviously triggers something in my brain that I find difficult to control at those moments.

I have worked so hard to lose the weight and while there is still more to go, I feel better and am more active and healthier than this time last year.

So next time this happens, I will somehow find the strength to get out and walk and walk and walk until I have stilled the longing. But for now, it's back to clean eating and daily exercise. Move on and move forward! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You made it through, my friend. I understand your struggles. I gained going through all these issues with my health and am in the boat with you trying to get back to where I was. I am glad you were able to help your friend, which in turn helped you too. Please know I am always here for you!
    1767 days ago
    Yet again, your honestly and transparency humbles me. You're amazing.

    Your blog made me think of a comment an old friend of mine made a few days ago, "Working through my karma is a b****." Whether one believes in the concept of previous lives and karma or not, the idea as it relates to compulsive behaviors is still interesting.

    Next time you're feeling low, give me a call or shoot me a message, Sissie. Life is too short to spend any of it feeling lost.

    Love you!
    1772 days ago
    Years ago I was a binge eater. I finally got help from a counselor and we didn't so much work on my food problems but he let me dictate what we spoke of during out sessions. He was able to give me guidance and I was able to learn to stop and think through situations and explore my feelings that would normally drive me to start my binge. As for stopping and calling a friend to talk me down from the fridge so to speak, I would not have been able to do that. A stranger for me worked. I am not perfect, I make mistakes and overeat but I make a point the next time I put anything in my mouth to make sure I am on track. I log all my food and drink no matter what whether I am having a good day or bad.

    I have been in maintenance mode for 6+ years and I still log my nutrition and fitness. Until this moment due to your very good blog I think possibly the reason I still track is because I do fear being out of control. Hmm food for thought! Also, I live with my sister and B-I-L. My sister has been on this journey with me since Aug 2008. We have both lost at least 166 lbs each. It has made my journey so much easier for me to have a buddy.

    Good luck with the binge monster! Remember that friend that called you and you were both able to help each other. If you didn't tell her how she helped you you might want to tell her. That might be your life line if she is so inclined.

    You can feel free to delete this comment if you feel the need.

    1772 days ago
    Love your walking plan - my guess is it will work like a charm!
    1773 days ago
    This was a terrific account of exactly what happens to so many of us (me included). I go through the EXACT same cycle. We do not recognize the slip, thinking we are taking just a little indulgence...then before we know it...we're in a full-blown binge. H A L T stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, out for those triggers and steer clear of them as much as possible to scoot around the slip. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon
    1773 days ago
    You had a lapse, but you knew what to do to get back on your program and you did. Wisely, you are NOT being too hard on yourself and are looking to the future in a positive way instead.

    1773 days ago
    Wow...what a blog.
    I am not a binge eater but sympathise completely.
    My weakness is alcohol.
    May I suggest next time (if ever) you start slipping down that slope YOU call a friend to ask to get out for a walk...I bet any friend would be glad to!
    1773 days ago
    It's hard, but you've fought back, and I know you'll continue to. HUGS
    1774 days ago
    Great Job!!! I just got back on after a 10 day binge. After 6 months of no issues I thought I had the binge monster beat. Guess it's there like it has always been, but now I have tools to get back to healthy eating. Hopefully quicker next time :)
    1774 days ago
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