About a week ago, I was feeling down as I had been sick and not able to do as much as usual. The virus lasted almost 2 weeks and I got more depressed each day, purely from being a bit housebound. The way I have been dealing with loneliness and missing my family this time back has been to stay active and move alot. Well getting ill put a stop to my activities and I finally got so down that I succumbed and had a 3 day off-plan binge. My DH was out of town for work and well, when the cat's away, the mice will play! (or eat in my case)
It opened the hunger beast in me again and I was in the middle of my 4th morning of binging when a friend called who had a problem and wanted to take a walk and talk about it. Needless to say, I went and we walked for a few hours. Listening to her brought me back to reality and a strong feeling of gratitude for having an issue ((overeating) that I have the power to do something about. I was also pulled out of my own thoughts and troubles by being there for her.
And after that afternoon, I was able to get and stay back on track. The week since has gone pretty well and while I haven't lost much, my jean size has gone down again.
I have to be honest though. That binge really scared me! I have been doing so well for months now and really thought I had a handle on this. And then my down feelings came back and I used food to manage my negative emotions, thinking at the time I would only do this for one evening. Well, you know where that leads to...
If my friend had not called, I may still be in binge mode, because at those moments I don't care enough about myself to get out and walk and leave the food. And I tell myself that I will only eat like this 'one more day...' and then get back on track.
Oh, the lies I tell myself to be able to indulge.
So even though this week has gone well, I am humbled by what happened and will be extra alert to my emotions and how to deal with them. And no, in case you are wondering, binge food and isolating does not make you feel better. But I guess we all know that. Why oh why does the brain forget that sometimes?
On a positive note, it lasted only 3 days and while I did gain weight, a little over a week later I have taken that weight off again. I have been humbled and will not wake up the appetite beast again if I can help it. Once it is awake, there is an overwhelming need to eat and an appetite for junk food that demands to be filled. It obviously triggers something in my brain that I find difficult to control at those moments.
I have worked so hard to lose the weight and while there is still more to go, I feel better and am more active and healthier than this time last year.
So next time this happens, I will somehow find the strength to get out and walk and walk and walk until I have stilled the longing. But for now, it's back to clean eating and daily exercise. Move on and move forward!