REDSKINGIRL

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This is not about failure it is about not passing

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

WARNING THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SPARK PLAN:

On Monday I found out I did not pass the Florida Bar. I did not fail the bar because failure would mean I am not going to try again, and I refuse to let a test defeat me! It was a very hard pill to swallow to say the least. Every day for twelve hours a day for four months I studied for a test that determines if I can be a lawyer or not. Those four months does not include the grueling 3 1/2 years in law school where I gave up my family and friends, encountered many obstacles and worked the hardest I have ever worked in my life except studying for the bar exam.

I am the type of person when an obstacle occurs I take a day to digest (cry like a baby) then I get up and dust myself off and make a plan. The bad part is this plan will include four months of studying again (giving up my family, friends, and anything not including bar prep), but again I can not let this test defeat me. And I want to be a lawyer, so I will do what I need to do to achieve this goal.

I have about a month before the craziness starts, so I am really going to try and get into a healthy routine of eating and exercising because I think that will only help me. I ask my Spark Friends to please send good vibes, thoughts and prayers my way!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • HIPPICHICK1
    Glad to hear you are going to try again!! A word of advice though and a little story. Disclaimer: I am not trying to discourage you in the least, just letting you know what my experience in life has been and maybe encourage you to seek another way if the bar eludes you a 2nd time.
    When I was 12 I decided I wanted to be a rock star. I practised my guitar, started writing songs at an early age (13), started singing even earlier (10) and worked and worked on it for ages. When I was 14 I did my first gig and I was hooked. This is what I wanted to do as a grown up! Sing, play my guitar and be on stage where I truly felt comfortable and felt like I belonged there. Fast forward to age 38. After working two or more jobs most of my life and gigging locally, touring occasionally or relentlessly, being stiffed, cheated, failing, being out of work for long stretches of time and constantly being judged and told I wasn't good enough, releasing a CD anyway but only after I fought and fought to get the funding that was needed to make it, I decided to pack it in. I cried for two years about the loss of my career as a musician. It's not like I have no talent, but I have less then some and more than others. I had fans and believers behind me. BUT when I decided to quit for a while (I never say never) all things related to my 2nd career choice (making pottery) came raining down like manna from the heavens, almost as if I was never supposed to be a musician, but rather a potter. Looking back I see that quite possibly I was never cut out to be a rock star. I would have hated not having roots, touring all of the time, living out of a suitcase, not having the level of privacy I have, and quite possibly having a very unhealthy lifestyle. Pottery suits me better. As Joseph Campbell described, I had my ladder up against the wrong wall.
    1681 days ago
  • REDSKINGIRL
    Thank you so much for your words of encouragment!!!!
    emoticon
    1695 days ago
  • AQUAGIRL08
    Good vibes are coming your way!
    1696 days ago
  • ONTHEPATH2
    Chin up! Working in a law firm, I can attest to the fact that many fine lawyers did not pass the bar on their first attempt. As you said yourself, you did not fail. Failure would be not attempting the test again! You have a great attitude! Chase your dream!!!
    1696 days ago
  • JOCELYNH711
    You can do this !
    1696 days ago
  • DRIZZLE32
    Keep trying and manifest pray if you pray but keep digging you will get there. When you do pass you will be thankful for are the hard work and long hours and sacrifices you've made to make it happen! Good luck!
    1696 days ago
  • ALLENMC2002
    I am glad you are not letting it stop you from reaching your goals. I have a relative who had the same difficulty and it eventually worked out and she is practicing law
    1696 days ago
  • TRAILGRLJESS
    You got this!!
    1696 days ago
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