I'm Learning To Push
Sunday, October 02, 2016
Last week I took Friday off and drove 6 hours Thursday night to go and visit my daughter and grandson. It was so wonderful to play and visit with Maddox and to visit with my daughter Emily but the weather was terrible and we ended up cooped up inside all weekend.Sunday afternoon I made the 6 hour trek home then sat in an inservice all day on Monday. That added up to quite a few days without much activity and I was stiff and sore. I pushed myself-hard- to go to Zumba class Monday evening. Halfway through the class I thought I was going to die. :-) To say I found the workout tough is an understatement. But I made it through to the end and never gave up, though I had tears in my eyes a few times. That feeling of pride,of not giving up? That was a very new feeling for me.
The rest of the week was crazy. School got pretty stressful with lots of new demands put on me. I had to be away from home 4 out of 5 evenings due to prior commitments. Each night I was shy of my goal of 10,000 steps so Mabel and I went out for one more walk to push myself over the goal even though it was the last thing I felt like doing.
There were a few times I just wanted to give up. I had obligations I wanted to back out of...but I didn't. Fast food called my name a few times, but I ignored it. I ate the best that I could at my daughter's but the choices weren't always healthy, so I just ate less. I just kept pushing, one step at a time.
I never would have persevered like this before. In the past I would have given up by now, especially faced with so many challenges all at once. But I have been on this journey for almost 2 months now and throwing in the towel is not an option. I am learning to push through the obstacles because I have a clear goal in mind. It takes a lot of positive self talk to convince myself I am worth it, especially when I don't feel worthy. But I am learning to do that, to value myself, to put myself ahead of all of these obstacles. Giving up is not an option. I am worth it.