I wish I could figure out why I can’t seem to get back on track with healthy eating and exercise.
Life, overall is very good right now. I am going on five years with a man who loves me for me; and for the first time in my life, my relationship continues to grow rather than wane as time goes by. With Mike I have found that home is not a building, but rather any place we are together.
My sons are doing well. The oldest is working in his chosen field, traveling throughout the country. He would rather be closer to Minnesota, but this experience will look good on a resume when other opportunities arise. The youngest is in his second year at our local community college, where he is an honor student. He works part time, and completed two internships this past summer.
I am in my sixth year at I job I enjoy (most of the time), make a decent living, have good friends and family nearby, have overall good health, etc.
So, why then, do I continue to sabotage a healthy lifestyle? I start out good and gradually get back onto the wrong track. What is wrong with me?
There are times at work, I feel like an outsider. There are four of us in my department (including my boss), and the other three exclude me on a regular basis. Even right now, I am on a break and the three of them are in one office talking and laughing away. Some days I feel like I’m on an island all by myself and just want to walk away. Then I realize, I would never find a job that offers such a variety, how staff other departments are grateful for the help I give them, all the learning opportunities I have, and one that pays me well and has good benefits.
I constantly compare myself with other women and wonder…. Why do I have so many female relatives (on both sides of my family) that are petite and/or thin? Why am I the one with a weight problem? Why are they prettier than me? Why are most of my friends in such good shape? Have I been such a bad person that this is my punishment?
How do I move forward when I doubt myself so much?