The Loss Of Fritz
Wednesday, April 07, 2021
Today we made the extremely difficult decision to say goodbye to our dog Fritz. He was 12 years old and not doing well, but it didn't make it any easier. He was a gentle giant and one of the most well behaved dogs I've ever met.
When I woke up yesterday, he had completely lost all ability to use his back end. However, he was completely cognizant. We know we made the right decision, but I have no words for the loss I feel. I just laid next to him for a few hours until our vet office opened. He was neglected for a long time by my in laws before we took him last year. I'm just so sad we didn't have much time with him. He deserved a better life.
My husband is devastated. And my husband is not a very emotional person. He's been sobbing and his pain tears me apart. We just recently had one of our barn cats get hit by a car as well and he was the one who found her body in the road and brought her home. I know that traumatized him and now our dog is the first pet he's ever had euthanized. My anxiety has sky rocketed in the past 24 hours and I keep obsessively checking our other pets to make sure they're okay. We still have four cats and two goats.
I'm doing my absolute best to at least do the bare minimum to stay on track right now. If I stop exercising and taking care of myself, I know my anxiety and depression will just spiral. I've done ten minutes of exercise each day, drank at least a few cups of water, and tracked my calories. I haven't been eating super healthy, but I've been tracking and haven't overeaten. I haven't been sleeping, which is why I'm spilling my heart out to you right now.
Thank you all for the lovely comments and support. They've been helping me get through this week.