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A little update in 'Bobbi world'...hint...it's ALL good!

Monday, April 19, 2021

Hello my beautiful sparkling friends!

I think about so many of you daily. I think...I'm going to write a blog...I'm going to check in on my wonderful friends...I'm going to sprinkle some love around spark world!

Then...guess what..the day has whisked by and I don't do it.

BAD...very, very BAD! We all need to take the time to do things that make our heart sing!

SO...here I am..if only for a short blog (which NEVER turns out to be short) to tell you all that I love you deeply and miss you! I'm here to tell you all that you hold immense value to me and that I'm ALWAYS cheering you on even if you don't see it in writing.

I have been busy as always. The consignment gallery is still operating on reduced hours because of Covid. I absolutely COULD be open longer hours at this point. I've received both of my vaccines and most likely, my customers have too.

BUT...I have a new distraction and it is called LOVE! emoticon

Sounds SO corny at this stage in my life but it's true. Entirely true and I'm all about the unvarnished truth so I'll just lay it out there!

I am still doing GREAT on my weight loss. I'm down 60 solid pounds since last August. Down 61 on certain days. I am still pretty faithful to my interminent eating plan. I eat one time a day within a one hour window. It doesn't matter if its breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I move that one hour around to suit my social schedule.

If I want to do breakfast with girlfriends that's my meal. Lunch, or dinner, same thing.

I keep my carbs low, ideally around 20 carbs which is pretty extreme...but...as you can see...highly effective. Then I fast the other 23 hours of the day.

Many of my friends are amazed I've been able to hold to this new eating lifestyle for so long.

BUT...here's the deal my lovely friends...if you eliminate all of the CRAP food out of your life you ABSOLUTELY do not have the insane cravings for more CRAP that the big foodies infuse in your so called food. It's NOT food...it's a plethora of chemical CRAP and loaded with sugar that keeps you shoving MORE CRAP into your gullet.

WHY is this? Well easy to know...it's because your poor body is getting NO nourishment so it keeps your appetite in a nutritional strait jacket seeking more of SOMETHING to give it fuel to keep you healthy.

Let's face it. You do have to make an EFFORT to find REAL food. You do have to make the investment of time to cook and serve it. It does take some forethought but the health benefits you will acheive is WELL worth it. Trust me it just IS.

If my head thinks I need something in beween long fasts...say breakfast the day before..knowing I'm not eating until dinner with friends the day after I will have a snack of a protein to hold me over. It's not that my BODY is needing this snack...it's that my head thinks I need something so I acknowlege and indulge that longing.

I also am in a much happier frame of mind since I have lost so much weight and have met an amazing man that treats me like a Princess. I prayed and prayed I'd meet a wonderful man after losing my amazing hubby of 42 years...the whole time thinking at my age the good ones were all married...or let's face it DEAD!

I have written in my last blog about the amazing Michael a widower of a very long term marriage who lost his wife if many years to Parkinsons and Dementia.

He was a very long term caregiver and I admire him for being such a wonderful husband and all in all descent man.

He has two grown daughters who I have met who have given me a cool, but polite reception.

It's hard on them. Their mother has only been gone now for about 9 months. It's hard to accept that their father wants another love in his life. They think it's 'too soon'. I agree 9 months might seem too soon in polite civility...but guess what...I'm 69 and their father is 72 almost 73 in July.

At this age...in my mind...every month is like a year.

WHO has the time to play out society's norms? I don't that's for sure.


Sooooo if their father has been able to recognize that he wants to move forward in his life after spending so, so many years of grieving with the long term care of his wife let him have the respect he needs and be supportive. Care taking is grueling...it is a big form of grieving.

To me, it's even harder than a death because you KNOW you are losing this person. You KNOW there is nothing you can do to stop the decline...so you mourn...you carry on..but you mourn.

My wonderful hubby has been gone for 19 months now so I guess I fall within the accepted mode of civility in moving on.

For Michael, it's harder but his grief and the process of mourning is actually much longer than mine. His wife was really really sick for many years.

I am giving his daughters the space they need to come to terms with the fact that their father has found someone who makes him exceptionally happy. I was a daddy's girl myself and I keep thinking of how I would feel under the same circumstances.

I would NOT be happy with another woman in my father's life. Michael is Italian and family is EVERYTHING. He is an amazing father and grandfather. He talks to his girls almost daily.

His younger daughter age 42, is in MN where he has a home he purchased and is renovating. He stays there about 4 months every summer. She is the most resistant to him moving forward.

His older daughter age 44 is in N. Carolina and isn't really happy about the new situation...but I think logically she is more accepting of the fact that her dad deserves happiness.

Both girls are smart as whips! Both amazingly successful with wonderful husbands (who were absolutely lovely to me when I met them over Easter while they stayed in FL). Both daughters have law degrees like their dad. Both went to pedigreed collages like their Harvard grad dad.

But..intellignece doesn't trump emotions. Especially in the female sector. So the girls will need to work through this new situation and I will need to understand their resistance and be patient and loving and understanding.

This is HARD for me. I am NOT a patient person...but it's good for my development and their dad tells them he is respectful of their feelings but he deserves to be happy and after a certain amount of time they will need to learn to come to terms with the fact that he IS very happy and they will need to be supportive of that fact.

Michael is a strong man. He will stick to his decisions and be supportive of me.

My wonderful Donnie could NOT do that to make his mother and sister understand that he was happy with his choice in me and our long term marriage. Because he would NOT stand up to them and their constant and consistent undermining attempts at our marriage it was a very painful existence for me. In all truthfulness it put a wedge between Don and I because he ALWAYS took his mother's side on every single thing. I just could NOT understand that situation and from time to time felt like his mother was 'the other woman'.

I do not intend to ever be in that situation again. I am cautiously watching how Michael handles this situation with his daughters. I think it will be an entirely different and much BETTER situation this time around.

Family is complicated. He is lucky that I have no family. I have absolutely no baggage moving into our new relationship. Well...other than my fiercely protective and supportive 'girl squad'..ha ha.

He has his hands full with them but so far they all really think he's the cat's meow...and they are RIGHT...he IS!

Here we are at a beautiful restaurant we visited when we did a trip to the East Coast of FL in Ft. Lauderdale for Michael to pick up two pictures he had commissioned from one of his favorite artisits. It was a perfect weekend as I have found so many are now that this brilliant man is part of my new life...yes...I'm very, very blessed dear sparklers...VERY blessed and VERY grateful!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MARYJEANSL
    You do look so happy!
    29 days ago
  • VERNAJ3
    Oh Happy Day. I am ecstatic knowing you are once again enjoying life and I pray all works out well for you and Michael. I know what it's about to have stepdaughters (aged 49-53) and I also know what it's like to be a caregiver. I'm so very happy that Michael has moved on and found you!!! Wife may have passed 9 months ago but he has had a tough row to hoe for many years before that and deserves freedom and happiness now. I'm sure his girls will come to realize that. God Bless the pair of you. AND BTW you look fabulous and very happy. It's your turn.
    75 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2672953
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    85 days ago
  • JAZZEJR
    Look at how cute you are cuddling next to him. Love looks good on you. Go, Girl! emoticon emoticon
    85 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    Bobbi! This is a wonderful blog full of great news! It might take time, but I think the daughters will ultimately appreciate your role in their father's life. I'm so glad you have something really happy and fun, after a lot of patience and sad, hard times!
    emoticon
    88 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/14/2021 7:37:49 PM
  • NEWFLABULESS
    Bobbi, I am so happy to hear that you have found love and happiness; you so deserve it! I know that caregiving can be so devastating and you are absolutely correct--the person with the disease dies slowly. I am caregiver for my mother-in-law who has Alzheimer's; it is a horrible disease! Thankfully, she is still in moderate stage and knows me and my husband. Sadly, on our family last visit, she briefly forgot who my daughter was and asked if she was related to me. Katelyn did a nice job of handling it but I know that it hurt her.

    Congratulations on the weight loss. It's nice that you have found something that works for you and results are showing. I hope that restrictions are lifted soon so that you may open your shop more. Ours are being modified on May 12th. I miss your blogs but understand that you are busy with many other things. Enjoy your wonderful life!
    89 days ago
  • ANGELA-105
    I thought you were in your 30s! What are you eating/drinking?
    96 days ago
  • NGCHILD
    Bobbi, I am so happy for you both! I will pray that the healing begins with his daughters and they welcome you into their life. Take good care!!

    Nic

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    97 days ago
  • ALIHIKES
    So glad you have met a nice man who makes you happy. And congratulations on losing weight.
    97 days ago
  • JUDYAMK
    could this be a factor with the girls, I have known situations where the one spouse moved on & the adult children not being happy because of the money situation afraid the outsider they call getting the estate if they should marry & then tragically something happens to the one. Anyway so happy for you |
    ( Judy )
    98 days ago
  • SABLENESS
    How wonderful! There’s a verse in the apocrypha that I really like. It reads “ Blessed are you...for it has not turned out as I expected.” Doesn’t that sum up life with all its goods and bads? Blessings to you, happy for you!
    99 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I am happy that YOU are happy.
    99 days ago
  • OSONIYE
    You look radiant, Love!
    102 days ago
  • BBONET
    So happy for you Bobbi!! You look so radiant and beautiful with your weight loss. Congratulations on getting your life back where you need it to be. Prayers that Michael's daughter realize that their father needs to be happy to without disrespecting his late wife. It has to be hard on them but praying that they will come around. You go girl!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    102 days ago
  • ICECUB
    I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, I WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD
    102 days ago
  • MSLZZY
    You look fantastic and very happy. You deserve the best.
    Hoping his 2 daughters come to realize that dad needs to
    have a life full of love and happiness, too!
    103 days ago
  • EISSA7
    Wishing all things good and happy for you and Michael as you both enjoy life! AND....mega congrats on your weight!
    103 days ago
  • TERMITEMOM
    I am so happy for you Bobbi! You deserve happiness! emoticon
    103 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3501043
    Makes my heart sing to hear and see you so happy. The daughters will accept in time emoticon
    103 days ago
  • PACEKA1
    It's so nice to hear you so happy!
    103 days ago
  • REGILIEH
    emoticon

    A gorgeous couple!!!

    emoticon
    103 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3802882
    I’m so glad that you have found happiness! Hugs!
    104 days ago
  • KATRINAKAT23
    You look so happy!👍💚💙💐🌺🌹
    104 days ago
  • ALEXSGIRL1
    great picture of you two i hope you find many years of happiness
    104 days ago
  • IMUSTLOSEIT1
    You look absolutely ecstatic. So happy for you. My DIL, who I dearly love, started dating Terry, S2, after just 7 months after losing her husband to cancer, at the very young age of 44, and I thought it was early but in one of our many conversations, she said her grieving was done while he was still breathing, as she says he was not living, it was just breathing, as he life was so over many many months before his death. All the hospitalizations, and the weeks of just sitting at home unable to do anything cause he was so sick from all the chemicals they were putting in his body. Her having to go to work everyday to support them and their daughter and with no help from his family. So I totally understand, and I hope that he can express this to his daughters. You both deserve happiness.
    104 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    Sooo happy for you and am in awe of your success with IF!
    I am a believer and try hard but not really losing much at all.
    Maybe not every day like you do but most days I fast 18 hours or so, have a small lunch and a light dinner...always low carb.
    I swear if I drank only black coffee (yuk, need cream) and tea I would be losing.
    Also, can’t move much the last year due to a foot issue...delaying surgery until my guy’s more critical health issue is resolved.
    I think I told u before that two of my sisters met men on match and both have been happily married for 10+ years. One of them does have issues with her three stepdaughters at times (their mother screwed them up).
    Your Michael deserves to be happy after years of caretaking!
    emoticon
    104 days ago
  • JAZZEJR
    emoticon emoticon I am SO happy for you, Bobbi! I am dancing! I missed the earlier blog introducing us to Michael. I do hope you two continue to find happiness together! And I'm so pleased you're continuing to have success on your health journey. You go, Girl!
    104 days ago
  • SHOAPIE
    You are one lucky lady! So nice to listen to your joy. You deserve it. I have followed you for a very long time and have been with you through the good times and the bad. So glad you are in a very good time. Appreciate it and go with it no matter how long it lasts. And I hope it lasts forever! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    104 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    I am so happy for you, Bobbi. Wishing you all good things for the future.
    104 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    happy for you!
    104 days ago
  • LYNCHD05
    Bobbi I think I can speak for our whole Spark community and say we couldn’t be happier for you and your new life. As you said, life is way too short and both of you know what you need. Being a care giver robs you of the life you once had. So go for it girl and I hope those young ladies will appreciate how happy their father is.
    You look wonderful too!
    104 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    This is your chance to practice patience. Those women are middle-aged, so should be respectful of their dad. Since they do not live near you, it may be easier. Who knows? by taking cues from him and them, you can just be yourself and know that it is nothing personal if they are hesitant.

    BTW, that pic shows a lot less of Bobbi than last summer! Yahoo! You look fantastic!

    Your angels are guiding you... emoticon M-wah!
    104 days ago
  • GOOZLEBEAR
    I’m so sorry to hear about the unrest with the daughters of your new love but hopefully they will come around and want what is best for their dad. I’ve lived with family u rest for years and at times it is hard to deal with. Congratulations on your weight loss, you look awesome! Praying all will work out for you two. emoticon
    104 days ago
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