Friday, April 30, 2021
A few words today from a recent short meditation session offered by work: You have no choice. Once you accept that, you have great choice.
Wait, what? I have no choice, and yet I do? Let me think on that while I'm sitting here with my eyes closed wondering why that makes me anxious.
As the leader explained, we tend to spend all of our power in ways that are useless. In the matter of choice, there is so much we really can't control. And yet we choose to agonize about what will happen in the upcoming meeting, what if I forget to do something, what if I will be overcharged at the store and don't realize it until I get home.
I can think about those things as much as I want, yet I need to realize that because none of them have happened, they're only theoretical. And me deciding what I'm going to do first, and what I'll do next after that person says this or that, and how I will need to defend myself or my decision or what I see as an affront or a charge against me, does not matter.
Not only does it not matter, it doesn't help me one bit. What will happen, will happen regardless of my "preparation" for it. And when I see this and admit I do not have any control over what others do or say, I also know I will have plenty of choice in responding and communicating. I won't be tied to what I thought would or would not happen and I can feel more relaxed.
This isn't easy for me, because I always want to be prepared. I'm working on it.