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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 219
Saturday, October 03, 2020      11 comments

A lawyer had just undergone surgery. As he came out of the anesthesia, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, Doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure." Have... Read more
jokes day 218
Friday, October 02, 2020      12 comments

Why does New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps and Washington, D. C. has so many lawyers? New Jersey got first choice. The judge said to his dentist: Pull my tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. My older son called... Read more
jokes day 217
Thursday, October 01, 2020      13 comments

What do you have when you've got six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand. A lawyer sent a note to a client: "Dear Jim: Thought I saw you on the street the other day. Crossed over to say hello, but it wasn't you, ... Read more
jokes day 216
Wednesday, September 30, 2020      13 comments

A priest and a lawyer died and went to heaven on the same day, and St. Peter showed them both to their rooms. The lawyer's room was extremely large and lavish, but the priest's room was a little ten-by-ten cell with one window and a cot. The p... Read more
jokes day 215
Tuesday, September 29, 2020      17 comments

The airliner was having trouble, so the cabin crew told the passengers to take their seats and prepare for an emergency landing, which they all did...except for a lawyer who went around passing out business cards. ... Read more
jokes day 214
Monday, September 28, 2020      13 comments

What is the difference between a wood tick and a lawyer? A wood tick falls off you when you die. Why won't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy. My first husband loved lawyer jokes after he became one and I think his favorite ... Read more
jokes day 213
Sunday, September 27, 2020      11 comments

A county extension agent is visiting a farm and needs to use the toilet, but he remembers that there is no running water. So he runs around back to the outhouse, opens the door, and the hired man is sitting there. But the hired man says, "It's... Read more
jokes day 212
Saturday, September 26, 2020      12 comments

Four big executives are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring, and Michael Eisner reaches into his golf bag, pulls out a cellular phone, and talks to his office awhile. They play the second hole. On the third tee t... Read more
jokes day 211
Friday, September 25, 2020      15 comments

The lieutenant is leading his troops into battle, and his sergeant says, "Sir, there's a whole platoon of enemy coming toward us." And the lieutenant says, "All right, sergeant, bring my red shirt." So the lieutenant puts on his red shirt, and... Read more
jokes day 210
Thursday, September 24, 2020      12 comments

My company put me up in a pretty low-class hotel. I called the front desk and said, "I've got a leak in my sink." They said, "Go ahead." Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs. ... Read more
jokes day 209
Wednesday, September 23, 2020      13 comments

This sailor met a pirate in a bar, and the sailor couldn't help but notice that the pirate was pretty badly the worse for wear. He had a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. So the sailor asked the pirate how he got the peg leg, and the pirate a... Read more
jokes day 208
Tuesday, September 22, 2020      15 comments

"Gladys, it's like a miracle. Every night when I get up and go to the bathroom, God turns the light on for me, and when I'm finished, he turns the light off." "Harry--you're doing it in the refrigerator again!" Why do you feel so sophist... Read more
jokes day 207
Monday, September 21, 2020      14 comments

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?" Two guys are captured by cannibals. They're stuck naked in a big pot of water over a fire, and the water gets hotter and hotter. All... Read more
jokes day 206
Sunday, September 20, 2020      17 comments

So, Professor, you're back from the Rawalpindi archipelago, huh? Discover anything interesting out there? Yes. The tribe has discovered a kind of palm frond that can be made into suppositories to cure constipation. Do they really work? H... Read more
jokes day 205
Saturday, September 19, 2020      11 comments

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he got on the plain, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decid... Read more

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