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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 243
Tuesday, October 27, 2020      15 comments

A man wrote a letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $150. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest." Older son has ... Read more
jokes day 242
Monday, October 26, 2020      9 comments

The old accountant retired after fifty years, and in the top drawer of his desk they found a note that said: "Debits in the column toward file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window." Have a great week. Thanks for words of comf... Read more
jokes day 241
Sunday, October 25, 2020      13 comments

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon more and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hov... Read more
jokes day 240
Saturday, October 24, 2020      10 comments

The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the... Read more
jokes day 239
Friday, October 23, 2020      12 comments

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics. You know, something really c... Read more
jokes day 238
Thursday, October 22, 2020      13 comments

The function of a computer expert is not to be right about more things; it is to be wrong for more sophisticated reasons. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.... Read more
jokes day 237
Wednesday, October 21, 2020      9 comments

Computers can never completely replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity. A computer is perfectly reliable until the moment you switch it on. Have a good Hump Day! ... Read more
jokes day 236
Tuesday, October 20, 2020      12 comments

The secretary was leaving the office when she saw the CEO standing by a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very important document. Can you make this thing work?" The secretary turned the machine on... Read more
jokes day 235
Monday, October 19, 2020      12 comments

The difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers is mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. The optimist sees a glass that's half full. The pessimist sees a glass that's half empty. An engineer... Read more
jokes day 234
Sunday, October 18, 2020      13 comments

Three people were going to the guillotine. The first was a lawyer, who was led to the platform, blindfolded, and had his head put on the block. The executioner pulled the lanyard, but nothing happened. To avoid a messy lawsuit, the authoritie... Read more
jokes day 233
Saturday, October 17, 2020      15 comments

The mathematician, the physicist and the engineer were given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. So the mathematician measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in t... Read more
jokes day 232
Friday, October 16, 2020      16 comments

The lawyer is painting his house, and a hobo comes around and asks if he can do something to earn a few dollars. The lawyer says, "Sure, take a can of this paint and go around to the back of the house and paint my porch." The hobo does this ... Read more
jokes day 231
Thursday, October 15, 2020      5 comments

A lawyer comes to visit his client on death row, and he says, "I have some good news for you." And the client says, "What good news are you talking about? You lost my case, I was convicted of a murder I did not commit, and I've been sentenced ... Read more
jokes day 230
Wednesday, October 14, 2020      12 comments

The defendant knew he didn't have a prayer of beating the murder rap, so he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter. The jury was out for days before they finally returned a verdict of manslaughter. Afterward the defendant ... Read more
jokes day 229
Tuesday, October 13, 2020      12 comments

Why is it unethical for lawyers to have sex with their clients? Because it'd mean being billed twice for essentially the same service. I dated a lawyer for a while, until one time she told me, "Stop and/or I'll slap your face." What ... Read more

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