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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

jokes day 237
Wednesday, October 21, 2020      9 comments

Computers can never completely replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity. A computer is perfectly reliable until the moment you switch it on. Have a good Hump Day! ... Read more
jokes day 236
Tuesday, October 20, 2020      12 comments

The secretary was leaving the office when she saw the CEO standing by a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very important document. Can you make this thing work?" The secretary turned the machine on... Read more
jokes day 235
Monday, October 19, 2020      12 comments

The difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers is mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. The optimist sees a glass that's half full. The pessimist sees a glass that's half empty. An engineer... Read more
jokes day 234
Sunday, October 18, 2020      13 comments

Three people were going to the guillotine. The first was a lawyer, who was led to the platform, blindfolded, and had his head put on the block. The executioner pulled the lanyard, but nothing happened. To avoid a messy lawsuit, the authoritie... Read more
jokes day 233
Saturday, October 17, 2020      15 comments

The mathematician, the physicist and the engineer were given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. So the mathematician measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in t... Read more
jokes day 232
Friday, October 16, 2020      16 comments

The lawyer is painting his house, and a hobo comes around and asks if he can do something to earn a few dollars. The lawyer says, "Sure, take a can of this paint and go around to the back of the house and paint my porch." The hobo does this ... Read more
jokes day 231
Thursday, October 15, 2020      5 comments

A lawyer comes to visit his client on death row, and he says, "I have some good news for you." And the client says, "What good news are you talking about? You lost my case, I was convicted of a murder I did not commit, and I've been sentenced ... Read more
jokes day 230
Wednesday, October 14, 2020      12 comments

The defendant knew he didn't have a prayer of beating the murder rap, so he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter. The jury was out for days before they finally returned a verdict of manslaughter. Afterward the defendant ... Read more
jokes day 229
Tuesday, October 13, 2020      12 comments

Why is it unethical for lawyers to have sex with their clients? Because it'd mean being billed twice for essentially the same service. I dated a lawyer for a while, until one time she told me, "Stop and/or I'll slap your face." What ... Read more
jokes day 228
Monday, October 12, 2020      9 comments

"Are you a lawyer?" "Yes." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars for four questions." "Isn't that awfully expensive?" "Yes. What's your fourth question?" Big gain after week of over eating - no surprise. Went to bed a bit... Read more
jokes day 227
Sunday, October 11, 2020      9 comments

A New York man was forced to take a day off work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood befor... Read more
jokes day 226
Saturday, October 10, 2020      17 comments

How was copper wire invented? Two lawyers were arguing over a penny. Ninety percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. Had a few things to do today and I only forgot a couple. One was I wanted to check if could get hair cut. Gues... Read more
jokes day 225
Friday, October 09, 2020      15 comments

Two lawyers went into the restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they got sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter said, "Hey, you can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" So the lawyers traded sandwiches. Have a... Read more
jokes day 224
Thursday, October 08, 2020      14 comments

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented by both of you with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000... Read more
jokes day 223
Wednesday, October 07, 2020      14 comments

Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder! Have a great Hump Da... Read more

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