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KITTYHAWK1949's Blogs

Wednesday, April 21, 2021      15 comments

A man's idea of planning for the future means that he buys two cases of beer instead of one. Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on. Why did Dorothy ge... Read more
Tuesday, April 20, 2021      9 comments

Dying man: You know, honey, you've always been with me through all my troubles. Through all my bad times, you've been there. When I got fired, you were there. When my business went down the toilet, you were there. When I had the heart attac... Read more
Monday, April 19, 2021      12 comments

A woman was going through her husband's desk drawer and discovered three soybeans in an envelope containing thirty dollars in cash. So she asked him about it. And the husband said, "Well, I have to confess. Over the years, I haven't been com... Read more
Sunday, April 18, 2021      12 comments

A man took his wife to the livestock show and they looked at the champion breeding bulls. The wife said, "Look here. It says that this bull mated over 150 times last year. Isn't that something!" And the husband replies, "Yes, but it wasn't ... Read more
Saturday, April 17, 2021      8 comments

After twelve years in prison, a man finally escapes. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, "Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!" An Aztec says to the Inca, "Hey Pocapopeptl, how long have you been wearing t... Read more
Friday, April 16, 2021      11 comments

A wife wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her husband sitting on the bed crying. She asks, "What's wrong?" He says, "Remember when your daddy caught us in your room when you were sixteen and told me I'd have to marry you or he was ... Read more
Thursday, April 15, 2021      13 comments

A male and female pigeon made a date to meet on the ledge outside the fiftieth floor of the Chrysler Building. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such a nice day, ... Read more
Wednesday, April 14, 2021      12 comments

A man exercises by sucking his stomach in every time he sees a beautiful woman. Son: Dad! I got a part in the school play! I play the husband. Dad: Too bad they didn't give you a speaking role. A little while back I got a RoboVac... Read more
Tuesday, April 13, 2021      13 comments

Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you make the final copy. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? So they won't hump your leg at a cocktail party. Did dishes today. So glad that I can do them wi... Read more
Monday, April 12, 2021      11 comments

A man walked into a supermarket and bought a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, and a frozen dinner for one. The woman at the checkout said, "You're single, aren't you?" The man said, "Yeah, how did you guess?" She said, "Because you're ugly." ... Read more
Sunday, April 11, 2021      12 comments

A young lady came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell!" ... Read more
Saturday, April 10, 2021      10 comments

A woman comes home shouting, "Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery!" The husband exclaims, "Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean, or for the mountains, or what? And she says, "I don't care. Just get the he11 out." My i... Read more
Friday, April 09, 2021      10 comments

Men pass gas more often than women because women never close their mouths long enough to let the pressure build up. Did you hear about the couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? They went to see "... Read more
Thursday, April 08, 2021      9 comments

Did you know that the shortest sentence in the English language is, "I am." Really. What's the longest sentence? "I do." I decided that instead of getting married I'd just buy a dog. Why? Because after the first year, a dog is stil... Read more
Wednesday, April 07, 2021      15 comments

Wife: If I died, would you marry again? Husband: Yes, I would. Wife: And would you let her come into my house? Husband: Yes. Wife: Would she sleep in my bed? Husband: Probably, yes. Wife: Would she use my golf clubs? Husband... Read more

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