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55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
7/24/11 8:13 P

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Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
7/24/11 8:11 P

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I'm saying you've got the best of both worlds. I applaud both of you for making it work in a way that honors both people's life styles. I think it's all good.

I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
7/24/11 7:59 P

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We seem to be part of a growing group actually.
I know one woman who bought the lot next door to their house, and built another house with a connecting breezeway.
My mother-in-law and her old high school boyfriend were both widowed or divorced by age sixty and have been dating each other for over 20 years but choose not to share a home. Another family member has been happily married for thirty years but living in separate residences for several years because their basic habits are too different.
My husband use to scoff at this in outrage but now it makes sense to him... It may not be ideal, but not many things are. And there is no point trying to force a square peg into a round hole or in throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
7/24/11 7:47 P

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Sounds like you have learned to take care of you FIRST. And that is a good thing. Nothing wrong with dating, could be the best of both worlds. Single and yet . . . . . . !

My wish for you is that it works out for your best interest.

I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
7/24/11 7:19 P

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Or- not sharing a home!

We have agreed to live apart. Ten years of marriage in middle age have not been enough to surmount the differences. So we will simply continue to "date" as we have been for the past few months. I do not feel able to stay healthy in an environment based on so many things I don't believe in.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
JENNSWIMS's Photo JENNSWIMS Posts: 1,313
4/27/11 7:15 P

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With your new found focus on health it sounds like you are turning into a new woman! Independent & healthy. I have a feeling that your perception of what you need and DESERVE from your marriage may be altered by your new awareness of yourself.

We all need support, I hope your hubby learns to provide the kind of support you receive here!

�Never, never, never, never give up.� ~~ Winston Churchill

�People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.�~~ Zig Ziglar



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TERESAJOC's Photo TERESAJOC Posts: 141
4/27/11 10:35 A

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I have noticed when I make "good" changes in my life it highlights the disconnect I have with others who don't make the same improvements. Sending good thoughts your way!

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55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
4/27/11 8:03 A

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Yes, it's just totally weird trying to remember not to bother to tell him anything about what is going on with me. Yesterday I made the mistake of telling him that I had a respiratory infection and fever, my car was being worked on to the tune of several hundred dollars, and a friend's 24 year old son was just killed in a hit and run. His reply was that he was having a bad week on the job.
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It's sort of hard to lose all those expectations that your spouse has some interest in you beyond what you can do for him.
Enough emoting though. Just get busy and don't think about what might have been...

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
4/27/11 7:35 A

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You've become so strong, so self reliant. I think you're going to find the relationship won't be what it use to be. You have built a new support system and we'll all be here when you need us!!

I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
4/27/11 7:24 A

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This moving back in thing is shaping up to be even trickier than I feared. sigh.

It has been put off until the end of June now to keep myself from getting involved in his home remodel project which was supposed to be complete at the end of February and has been stalled out for over a month. The only way for me to not have an opinion about how to handle it is to stay away!

Also, as I spend more time with him I am reminded that being with him is a lonely proposition and I have to remember not to expect what I already know is not there. There will not be support for my activities or for my emotions. This waiting time is a training ground for managing myself and being sure I have learned not to react with unhealthy behaviors. I'm not sure why I am doing it at this point. Just another stepping stone in my life, I suppose, and more of a practical thing than a family thing.
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Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
4/26/11 3:48 P

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Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
JENNSWIMS's Photo JENNSWIMS Posts: 1,313
4/26/11 3:45 P

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I can so appreciate what you mean and the decision you made to remove yourself from a situation where non-ETL foods were lingering. Good for you for taking control, putting yourself first and committing to your own health!

I have a husband who is getting healthy (but not doing ETL) and two long term houseguests who eat total crap. When I say crap I mean it, a week's groceries for them includes 2 dozen croissants, 3 bags of doritos, 4 bags of chili cheese fritos and 3 cases of diet Mt. Dew and it gets worse from there.

So, my house my rules, right? Crap is kept on shelves in the garage. Only ETL foods are permitted to be stored in the kitchen, the exceptions being items that must be kept in the fridge or freezer. Those foods are kept on specific shelves, referred to (by me) as the "dirty shelves".

I'm kinda Type A about the whole thing, but it works. They knew the deal when they moved in, and have no complaints, and I'm happy because there isn't a house full of foods that aren't healthful.

�Never, never, never, never give up.� ~~ Winston Churchill

�People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.�~~ Zig Ziglar



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CD5759584 Posts: 312
4/1/11 2:21 P

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On the topic of visiting family and friends or having them visit you -- it can be really difficult. I find it is difficult more for my husband since he is not a total plant-based eater (he rarely eats meat but will eat fish and loves eggs) and was raised a full blown meat&potatoes kind of guy - he feels obligated to cater to friends and family by providing something not vegan or vegetarian. He knows he will have to prepare it or it will need to be purchased.
I do struggle with this because I think it send mixed messages to the kids about what is healthy to eat and what is not. You know -- if it is not good for you why would you make it for Grandma?
And so, this has lead to some confusion with family. When we eat at their house we often get served fish, seafood or my least favourite thing in the world - a big box of frozen cheese lasanga. Even though I have said many times - I'll eat the sides. Honest. Just make more salad or even better, let me bring one!




CD5759584 Posts: 312
4/1/11 1:58 P

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What an inspiring discussion. Thank-you for starting this.
I admire those who have the fortitude to stick to their choices when those around them are not supportive.
My family has been a following a loosely vegetarian diet for a number of years - you will see fish, dairy and eggs on our dinner table from time to time. Recently I have been trying to go completely vegan. It's been a struggle sometimes to find something to eat when the family is eating something that is cheese laden. But I have also been surprised at how easy it is to plan a weeks worth of dinners that are vegan/plant-based and still keep everyone happy.

One of things I do is try to make a new recipe each week, so my kids, 7&4, are used to having to try something new. They don't always like it, but it's amazing how eventually they start to accept the food. My daughter has requested salad for dinner. My son (4yrs) orders "leaves" at restaurants and loves to go grocery shopping with me - I turned around one day and he had grabbed a head of broccoli and took a bite. Right there in the produce section! I'm lucky that my kids are still small and so have always been raised this way. It does not mean that they don't get their fair share of junk food. And trying to get dairy foods out of my diet has been a big challenge. Like tonight - Friday is pizza night. I plan on making my own with just veggies and they can make theirs with cheese. But i still feel kinda weird about eating differently from the family.



BURRITAELITA's Photo BURRITAELITA Posts: 1,469
4/1/11 7:36 A

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As far as my life partner/ husband, he was vegan-minded even before I was, and applies the diet even more consistently than I do. It sounds like this is a rare situation. I think he was prepped for it by living at Maharishi University in Iowa for a year while he studied web design. Their cafeteria is entirely vegetarian. They had pretty delicious Indian food there!

My husband and I are going to visit a couple, friends of ours from years ago, in Boise, Idaho in April for five days. They are not vegetarian or vegan. However, after talking about what they could do to feed us, we settled on her cooking a huge pot of Puerto Rican rice and beans (a specialty of hers) and another huge pot of vegetarian chili. With some fresh fruit and fresh salad makings, we'll be set. I don't think she has a high-powered blender, but we can make do with oatmeal and fruit for five days.

That makes the whole visit easier for all of us. We are very comfortable with eating the same thing for 5-6 days in a row, so we're easy to please. I would have offered to cook, but we'll be coming from so far away, I didn't want to bother with bringing food in addition to my clothes and other necessary things. Truly good friends, don't you think, who are cooking something special for us?

The most effective health-care is self-care.

Nutrition is the prescription.

You can literally stretch your lifespan by shrinking your waistline.

Nutrition and other lifestyle factors that you can choose are a more significant determinant of your health than genetics.

Filling your stomach with high-nutrient foods is like by-pass surgery without the surgery.

We are all born with an innate desire to not only survive but thrive.

--Joel Fuhrman
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
4/1/11 5:29 A

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drfuhrman.com/members/newsletters/JF
_M
ar_08_WebVersion.pdf


There is a section on IBS in this link.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
CD7055356 Posts: 591
4/1/11 3:58 A

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I am married to someone that used to share my unhealthy eating habits of casseroles with massive amounts of cheese, loads of baked goods and a fair amount of processed foods.

When I started SP one year ago, he was shocked. I was not buying the 'junk food' for our cupboards or baking the cakes, cookies, pies, etc. every weekend that kept us unhappy and heavy.

Over the last 12 months, I have shown him (slowly) what healthier eating is, and he has been mostly receptive to it. He has even started working out (and liking it) which I never believed would happen.

I have been on the ETL program for 6 days and he isn't complaining or sabotaging me. I wouldn't say he's 'supportive', but he's not whining about what pops up on the dining room table at dinner time, either.

He has IBS, which he says will prevent him from embracing the ETL program (too much fiber). Honestly, I wish he would try it to see if he could get off IBS medication which costs us over $100/month (the German health-care system won't pay for it).

He's not with me 100%, but as I said...he doesn't do anything to sabotage what I'm trying to accomplish...which has to be acknowledged. Maybe we will be on the same page someday...

WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
3/31/11 8:16 P

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Way to go HAPPYWALKER. Win him over with PROOF. Works every time.

I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 8:02 P

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wow

(small word, big meaning)

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Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
CD1345136 Posts: 1,836
3/31/11 7:59 P

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Thanks so much for posting this topic and making it a sticky. This is a major challenge for me.

One positive that's happened for me is that I used my own money to buy a Vitamix and now hubby is nodding his head that it's the best investment I've ever made. I've been making smoothies just about every day since I bought it last fall. When he was just starting to come down with a cold a little while ago, I had him drink a glass to boost his immune system. It worked and he never did come down with a full blown cold. But what surprised him was how good it tasted. Now whenever I make a smoothie, he asks to have a glass. Baby steps!

MAUITN Posts: 15,514
3/31/11 3:37 P

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Im very lucky in that my husband is an excellent cook and enjoys it. When I told him over a week ago that I was going to be going on this plan, he had no problem with it and is fully supportive. He, however, does not need to lose weight and chooses not to give up his meat, oil, or dairy, so he has been making his own dinner. He always made his own breakfast and any snacks he wanted and we often ate at different times. Being retired and having different hobbies and interests, we have sort of done our own thing for many years. So one could say that we are living in the same home, but sharing different habits. It works for us.


Edited by: MAUITN at: 3/31/2011 (15:39)


I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. -John O'Donohue

www.flickr.com/photos/8894287@N06/

If something is holding us back, today is the day to begin to push back. Today is always the best day


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CHANGEITALL's Photo CHANGEITALL SparkPoints: (0)
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3/31/11 2:21 P

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Thanks for the wonderful link Court! And thank you to all for the advise. It makes me feel a lot better to have someone backing me up when I am dealing with a lot of flack about the changes at home.
And thank you for bringing up the sharing homes subject 55Walker.
I admire you for being able to separate yourself from the old shared habits and also for your courage in returning with a resolve to continue on your healthy path!

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BANJO_13's Photo BANJO_13 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/31/11 1:11 P

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CHANGEITALL, I'm a stepmom and my stepdaughters do not like fruits or vegetables much. Because I have never been able to feed them a ton of junk food (I feel like I'm poisoning them even though that crap is what they're used to. Don't get me started.), I have to trick them sometimes. If I make it look like dessert, they'll eat it. I have a frozen mango, pineapple, peach & strawberry mix at home. I can put that in the blender with some carrot juice to smooth it out and it's sorbet but without the sugar. Also, I've made "muffins" using spice cake mix or chocolate cake mix and canned pumpkin. The sugar in the muffins is pretty bad but I'm hoping that they're getting a little extra nutrition where they wouldn't normally. I'm trying to make an impact in small spurts of time. And, hopefully, maybe their taste will change just an eensy bit.

What you think, you become.
~ Buddha

It's never too late to be what you might have been.
~ George Eliot


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WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
3/31/11 11:33 A

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Sharing homes without sharing habits can also rear it's unruly head when we visit out of town family or they visit us. Staying in someone's home for several days can be so stressful. And having guests that you want to make comfortable and welcome can be a challenge.

I would love to hear some ideas on how to handle either of those situations. I'm scheduled in May to spend 3-4 days in someone else's home. This particular someone is a real junk food junkie. I have spent the day there before, but 3 !?!

Just another little something to think about.

I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
CD6638919 Posts: 1,499
3/31/11 11:12 A

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Wow, that is a fantastic story and I look forward to hearing about your transition back home. Good for you for taking your life into your own hands... you are an inspiration!


MAUITN Posts: 15,514
3/31/11 10:55 A

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Thank you for such a wonderful and inspiring post. I admire you for having the strength and determination to make such a major life change. That you have made second equally life changing decision to move back is doubly impressive. I have no doubt that you will be able to continue your life style and will influence him in subtle ways that he will come to adopt.



I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. -John O'Donohue

www.flickr.com/photos/8894287@N06/

If something is holding us back, today is the day to begin to push back. Today is always the best day


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55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 10:39 A

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Wonderful link, Court. I was hoping to bring together these family food issues that so many of us have into one place.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 10:37 A

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The other "R" word I needed in there was "respect", meaning that the only way to have my lifestyle choices respected by others was through having self-respect which was quite a novel idea for me.


Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
CD6646698 Posts: 1,229
3/31/11 10:36 A

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I'm only 25 and don't have kids, so I can't offer life experience, but I've been reading "The Green Smoothies Diet," and the author had a chapter geared toward getting kids to eat the good stuff...here is an article from her website...maybe it can offer up some wisdom:


www.greensmoothiegirl.com/articles/h
ow
-do-i-get-my-kids-to-eat-well/


WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
3/31/11 10:34 A

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I have much to be thankful for. While my hubby is a full-blown omnivore, he eats whatever I cook. I do occasionally fix him chicken or tuna, but if I didn't he would never complain. However, his eating habits away from home are not all that great.

And he has health issues, not huge, not major, but his blood pressure is controlled with drugs and he's also on drugs for cholesterol. I would love to convince him to go vegan, or at least vegetarian, but so far he's not convinced. It's easier to take the pills. Plus his doctor has convinced him that it's hereditary which in his mind means there's nothing he can do about it. It's not his decision how I manage my health and I don't make it mine to manage his. He knows the choices and he has made them.

I so admire Anne for making the choice she made. She likely saved her life! And I have to also admire her husband for his understanding.

Edited by: WILD4STARS at: 3/31/2011 (10:37)
I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 9:46 A

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Aha! "Radical" is the word I was grasping for and never found. Thanks! And thanks to all for the support.

Have you offered to share fruit smoothies (laced with carrots, tomato, and leafy greens) with her? That could perhaps be before dinner or later in the day when she hasn't eaten as much because of the veggie proliferation on the table. Sometimes I use frozen sliced carrots for the ice in my smoothies.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
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3/31/11 9:37 A

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Wow... Moving in order to better yourself just proves your dedication and strength of mind! Good for you for doing that for yourself Ann. (I'm sure a lot of people would not have the guts to do something so radical for themselves.)

I too struggle with the guilt of omnivore cooking. Not so much for my husband because he is so fastidious that nothing will make him change, not even health issues, but I am guilty about letting my daughter continue to eat unhealthily. She is 11 and I know that a change in her diet now will result in better health for the rest of her life. I have been trying to crowd out the bad with a larger amount of veggies and fruits at mealtime. Unfortunately that normally results in her eating less at dinner to avoid the extra veggies, which she really can't afford to do (she is only 63 lbs).
Has anyone else experienced this? If I continue with the crowd out method do you all think she will eventually get hungry enough to eat more of the healthy things?

One trick that does work for her is that I cut up fruit for myself right after she gets home from school and I leave it on the cutting board in the kitchen. I noticed she will take a few pieces...then come back for more..and so on until the fruit is all gone. (If I cut it up specifically for her....she won't eat even half.) So I just let her think she is sneaky...when it is actually me being the sneaky one.



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CD557571 Posts: 18,109
3/31/11 9:03 A

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So many times we know what we "should" do, but don't actually act on it. I applaud your ability to take action, where you knew it was necessary to do. It couldn't have been an easy decision to make, or to implement.

But now, you have been able to change your own habits, and become more of your own authentic person.

I wish you well as you take this month of April to transition back to your shared home.

55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 8:56 A

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It makes me a little sad and happy both that I have also been able to see health changes in him. He has lost thirty pounds and become more active because I have not been there enabling his poor habits.

It is a fact that the things we do for people out of a desire to help or to give pleasure are not always the good thing to do.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
WILD4STARS's Photo WILD4STARS Posts: 9,049
3/31/11 8:47 A

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What a huge step!! Both leaving and now returning. I'm betting that you are a much stronger person now than you were when you made the choice to move. My money's on you. AND even though he doesn't embrace your diet and lifestyle I know it will still have a positive impact on him. Congratulations for knowing when it was time to put yourself first, and DOING it. You are an inspiration.



I stay on my road and I don't change lanes.
~
"If your lifestyle doesn't control your body, your body will eventually control your lifestyle." Ern Baxter
~
I AM more powerful than the temptations I face today. I AM stronger than my addictions.
~
I AM nurtured and nourished. I AM healthy, happy and energized.
~
I AM calm, patient and peaceful. Nothing can disturb my serenity.
~
"Your body is never not looking." Dr. Michael Klaper
55WALKER's Photo 55WALKER Posts: 5,261
3/31/11 8:32 A

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The struggle to change our habits when living in a home that does not support our desire to change is a recurring theme here on Spark. Last year I decided that it was literally do or die for me as I struggled with depression, hypertension, and finally a severe type 2 diabetes diagnosis.

I was fortunate enough to have a gelling of circumstances that made it possible for me to do something that I realize is not possible for the majority of people: I moved out of my home and turned all of my attention on myself. My children are grown and gone and my husband was enough years into his cancer recovery to be able to fend for himself.

It may be seen as a failing of mine that I was unable to form new habits while sharing my life with my spouse but for me it was simply an acknowledgement that I knew a way to do it and that the need to do it was urgent. It was not an easy choice and I feel no guilt. At the time I told him that it was a sort of health camp visit of undetermined length.

I started an environmentally friendly housekeeping business to support myself and concentrated on my health.

Since then I have learned what I need to do to be healthy and he has waited patiently, never (at least after the initial shock last spring) pressing me to say when or even if I would return.

At the end of May I am planning to move back into the house but I have drawn lines in the sand. He now knows that he is able to care for himself food-wise (as he is uninterested in making the type of changes I chose to make) and he acknowledges the positive impact my changes and wonderfully improved health have made in our lives and my need to maintain my current habits.

I will prepare a healthy omnivore dinner for him on days when we are both home and off work because I enjoy cooking, but otherwise I will be treating his food the way I treat a customers food, i.e. when I am in someones home I dont touch their food because it is not mine to touch.

I draw strength from this team. Thank you all.


Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.- Dorothy Thompson

The universe and nature should be regarded with the deepest reverence, and nature should be treated with the deepest respect. - WPM



"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha." ~Robert Brault
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