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FERGSGIRL2's Photo FERGSGIRL2 Posts: 7,629
10/8/09 7:56 P

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I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away almost 13 years ago, from lung cancer. I too was her caregiver, along with my sister and brother's help.Today there is still a void; but Christ has assured me that I will see her again, and that she is in His loving care! Praying for You

Don't you dare, for one second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are.
Jo Blackwell-Preston


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BNMTOOTALL4's Photo BNMTOOTALL4 Posts: 1,171
10/4/09 3:50 P

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Donna,

I know things are ruff. I just lost my last Grandparent. My Babette on March 10th, 2009 to Lung Cancer. I know she is with Papa and her own parents, brothers and sisters. When she would tell me stories. She would always talk about how big her family was. This holiday season will be hard for us. But we can get though it.

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WARMSPRINGDAY's Photo WARMSPRINGDAY Posts: 5,073
9/12/09 7:32 A

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So sorry for your loss.

I am a finisher!

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be. - Joyce Myers

I have a choice!

Co-Leader of Team "Lost a Loved One"
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CD2672953 Posts: 12,060
9/9/09 5:40 A

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GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
9/9/09 1:38 A

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Please continue to support Donna next week by sending her emails or leaving a comment on her page. In a few days I will be removing the sticky, which holds this thread in place, not allowing it to move to the next page. Her user name is DONNABERRIE. Why not write it down so you can contact her in the future?

I am going to take the sticky off in a few days. Donna has expressed that this has really helped her. I have had it suck here for about three weeks, with a few days not being stuck. I can only have three threads stuck in one forum. I had planted to use a sticky to feature a motivational page from someone on our team the day I saw her thread. I know that praying for this dear woman is more important than a motivational page for our team. So I choose to stick this instead. However I do need to unstuck it at some point. Thank you so much for praying for Donna. I have never lost anyone due to a death who was close to my heart. I believe that as time goes by it becomes harder, at times though. During this time people who rushed to help you and spend time with you in the beginning are now gone. Even though things have gotten a little easier, it probably becomes harder at times because not as many people are helping you as before. I don't know, maybe I am completely wrong about this. However, please join me with continued support of donna these next few months by sending her an email, or writing a comment on her page. I feel that this is something that God wants us to do. I truly believe that we are helping Donna more than we will ever know, and God will bless us for our efforts ,especially, the ones made in the future.

Edited by: GLITTERGIRL69 at: 9/9/2009 (01:45)
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9/8/09 4:09 P

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Donna, I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mom when I was 17. She had cancer also. I was not a Christian at the time so I had no hope of ever seeing her again until I was 25 years old and received Christ as my Saviour. I cannot add much to what the others have so rightly answered you.

I will say that it's ok to miss her and wish you could get a hug from her, etc. I still do and I am 65 years old. The good thing is that I know I will see her soon.

You will be in my prayers.
Sharon

With Christ all things are possible!

"A few moments of satisfaction from overeating leads to a whole day of depression from gaining weight."


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YATMAMA's Photo YATMAMA SparkPoints: (284)
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9/8/09 1:27 P

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Toni, that was such good advice, God-inspired. Bless you.

~Missy~

There is nothing we can do to make God love us more; there is nothing we can do to make God love us less. -- Philip Yancey


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SHYMOM101's Photo SHYMOM101 Posts: 249
9/8/09 12:40 P

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Donna, my heart goes out to you. I too lost my mother. It's been 5 years now, but it feel like just yesterday. I took care of her during her struggle with cancer. I am so thankful that I was able to be there for her and would not change that.

What I learned in the years that followed her death is I had to heal from the trauma of the experience first,then I could start to grieve for the loss of my mom.

Our parents are larger than life in the deepest part of our heart. To see them reduced to death can be so difficult to accept. I still remember going over and over in my head every experience since my mom first got sick. Like a movie projector playing the same clips again and again.

I have been a Christian for many years and know that Christ is the foundation for my life, but like you said what you know does not always explain what you are feeling.

The conflict of living in two worlds has to work itself out in our hearts and minds. I found this took time. For me, it took a lot of time.

God is good, and I have no doubt that he will take care of you in this time of transition.

Be honest with God, even when what you know does not
align with what your feeling. I was very angry, I knew I shouldn't be, but I had to express that to get past it. Be patient with yourself!

Above all I pray that the Holy Spirit will sustain you now with a peace that surpasses all understanding.
God Bless :)Toni
emoticon

Edited by: SHYMOM101 at: 9/8/2009 (12:44)
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WALKERGAL Posts: 1
9/7/09 10:28 A

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I just lost my mother too on July 17 and was her caregiver also. Knowing that she is in heaven is just a blessing but it still doesn't take away missing her. Remember all the things that God showed you during your time together; things only that you know were definitely from Him. God gave me several situations that were answers to prayer and knowledge to know that He truly was with her. Surround yourself with other believers to share your feelings and don't forget to continually pray. God will provide and meet all your needs.

Bless you-walkergal

GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
9/5/09 7:21 P

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May this day be filled with peace and happiness!

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CD2672953 Posts: 12,060
9/5/09 3:12 P

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KARLIEK's Photo KARLIEK Posts: 1,267
9/4/09 7:40 P

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So sorry about losing your mom. She sounds like she was a special lady. I lost my mom just 4 1/2 years ago. I miss her so much too. We were best friends. Mom's have a special place in our hearts. Hold on to those precious memories! And just knowing she's in Heaven and you'll see her again I hope will comfort you. Take care of yourself!

Karlie

"Better to have peace of mind than a piece of cake!"

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"God provides a way when there seems to be no way."

God loves us right where we are.
LIFEHASCHANGES's Photo LIFEHASCHANGES Posts: 1,602
9/4/09 7:06 P

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I dont know what I would do if my mom passed. But I was just thinking about this issue. I will pray for you for sure. I am so glad that you have an eternal perspective and can take comfort in that at the very least. You must have been sooo close. wow. I will pray for u sis! Stay strong... You already know God works all things for our good.

Love in Christ,
Mrs. K

I like to do Web development and I am a Computer Science major at Mills College.


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MOCACHOC's Photo MOCACHOC SparkPoints: (85)
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9/4/09 11:52 A

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Donna,

Going through the grief process is so difficult. I know your pain as I have lost two loved ones in less than a year. I will keep you lifted up but take it day by day. And don't let the weight of life keep you down. Get a massage, bubble bathe, relax to inspirational music. Get alone with God he will kiss those tears from your face because He is the greatest Lover. He will come immediately to Love the hurt you feel away.

Weeping may endureth for a night but Joy, Oh, Sweet Joy comes in the morning.

He does long to heal your pain, call on Him.

Peace and Love

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GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
9/2/09 6:22 P

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Thank you for your email. I just found it a few days ago. I will keep this up for awhile longer. I hope that it continues to give you comfort. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Dear God please help Donna when she sees something or hears something that reminds her of her mom. During those times that she has to tell someone what happened to her mom. Help her to be strong, continue to let her feel your strength, love, and healing, in Jesus name I pray amen.

BECKY1960's Photo BECKY1960 Posts: 7,699
8/30/09 10:43 P

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I'm so sorry

trust GOD, love yourself and think positive!
Becky


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JUMA97's Photo JUMA97 Posts: 13,036
8/30/09 8:12 P

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So sorry to hear about your loss. She was your mother and of course you miss her. One thing you will never lose is the memories you made with everything, both big and small, that you did together. Hopefully those memories are there to comfort you at this time.



In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

Sometimes you need to lose in order to win.

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CD3566824 Posts: 10,348
8/29/09 2:29 P

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8/29/09 10:52 A

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I am so sorry for your loss. We are human, so we miss those we have lost so very much, even though we are at peace that they are with Our Heavenly Father. I pray for God's wonderful comfort and guidance. I know He is hugging you right now. Let grief take it's course. Let God guide you as others have said, as He guided you to be her caretaker.

I stand in agreement in prayer.

Blessings,
Pam

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (One Day at a Time)

"If U can't fly then run, if U can't run then walk, if U can't walk then crawl, but whatever U do U have 2 keep moving forward." And remember "Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever."
~~Ruby Gettinger~~
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8/29/09 9:30 A

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Donna, first, what a wonderful daughter you are--caregiver is the greatest gift. I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died when I was 13, that was over 30 years ago. You won't ever stop missing her, but I believe they are always by your side. I've had difficult times when I knew mine was right there protecting and guiding me. I'm caring for my Dad right now, for the past six weeks, he's 83 and I know this is the circle of life, but it doesn't make it any easier. Blessing to you, If you're really struggling, consider grief support, it can help. I hope God's hand will touch and heal your pain and employment comes your way very soon. Love & Prayers, Tammy

Those who spread sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves!

Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz


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MAMONTOYA's Photo MAMONTOYA Posts: 1,891
8/29/09 6:11 A

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Donna,

My deepest condoleneses to you and your family. Death is a part of life, but there is really no preparation for it. I feel your pain. I was my mother's caregiver before she died over 10 years ago. I know how lost you can be without your Mom. The mother is the glue for the family. There is a deep, painful and empty feeling left once a mom is gone. We know they are resting peacefully, but it STILL hurts very much and very badly. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless you.

To thine ownself be true. All things are possible thru God.

The momentum of progress is unstoppable.


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GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
8/29/09 4:50 A

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Thanks for the update. We will keep you in our prayers. emoticon emoticon

DONNABERRIE's Photo DONNABERRIE Posts: 201
8/29/09 1:45 A

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I want to thank each and everyone of you for your compassion and prayers. The Lord has brought me great comfort through everyone of you. You are all such a blessing. Things are not working out real well, but I know that the Lord is in control. Regardless of what happens, I know the Lord loves me and I know His peace.
Thank you for everything,
Your sister in Christ,
Donna

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 21:29 Amen


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LYNNIJN Posts: 60
8/28/09 5:13 P

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YOU ARE A WONDERFUL DAUGHTER. DO NOT EVER FORGET THIS. YOUR MOTHER HAD TO HAVE LOVED YOU DEARLY. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU DONNA, MY SUGGESTION IS TO GET BUSY, PEOPLE ALWAYS HELP IN THESE TIMES. ACCEPT THE HELP. I ENVY YOU FINDING A NEW JOB, MEETING ALL THOSE DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND LEARNING SOMETHING NEW. SOUNDS LIKE GOD HAS AND IS CONTINUING TO LEAD YOU.

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STEFUNIE's Photo STEFUNIE SparkPoints: (73)
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8/28/09 4:50 P

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Holy Father grant Donna all her needs during her grief. Amen.

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THEADMIRAL's Photo THEADMIRAL Posts: 7,676
8/26/09 5:56 P

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Donna, I am so sorry. We don't mourn the same way when we know our mothers are with Jesus, their husbands, their siblings, their parents. We know we'll see them again -- soon! Yet, there's an ache that comes from realizing that the last person on the entire earth who knew you from your first breath of life is gone from your reach. It takes time, it takes trust in God Who is our Parent. We join you in your grief and pray for your comfort.

I'm Vikki

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BELLAPOCOMO's Photo BELLAPOCOMO SparkPoints: (0)
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8/26/09 12:50 P

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I am so sorry. I've had several close family members pass, and my thoughts and hugs are sent to you.

*´¨)
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(¸.·´ (¸.·* *

(BëllâPoçomo)

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

“Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.”

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RONDAKAY2's Photo RONDAKAY2 Posts: 158
8/26/09 12:14 P

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YOu are in my prayers Sorry for your loss

I can do all things thru he who strengths me!!!
THIS IS MY YEAR FOR DREAMS TO COME TRUE!!!


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CHERN009's Photo CHERN009 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/25/09 11:13 P

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You are in my thoughts and prayers.

~*~Chern~*~


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8/25/09 7:09 P

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Donna, you have me in tears....though I still have my Mom, and I love her so much, still she is over 900 miles from me, and how much I wish that were not the case. I treasure her. I treasure her life, her ability to keep going after Dad passed 2.5 years ago.
I am thankful she can still live in the town they lived in over 40 years, to be with her church, and friends.

I know one day she will be gone, I will be lost....I have my kids, but they have their own lives. There is NO ONE LIKE our Mom's...no one....

I do pray your sorrow will grow less each day as you remember all the good things, and forget your sorrow more. Your Mom would not want you to be sad....
God bless emoticon

MY NEW saying: (borrowed from Delila)

"If you want to do something, you'll find a way, if you don't, you'll find an excuse."


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GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
8/25/09 11:58 A

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Donna, after writing my response I read through what everyone wise wrote. I agree with all of them. Only one person answered your question, including mtself. You asked,, why is it hard to rejoice for my mom's death when she is no longer in pain, & I know she is in heaven? I think that it doesn't matter if you know 100% that a loved one is in heaven with God after they die, you will still be sad. Of course you are happy, very happy that your mom is in heaven, but you want to see her again. You want to touch her again. you want to hug her again,talk to her, love her in an earthly way again. Except your feelings, because they are normal emotions that everyone goes through. During a time of death we all want to tell someone the correct words that will ease their pain. The only correct words to ease your pain most times are the ones God gives you. There is two other things I want to mention. someone said, not to look for a job right know. It is very important to give yourself time to grieve. making a decision about which job to accept, going on job interviews may be too much for you right now. One thing is certain, crying at an interview, normally does not work out well. Make sure you are emotionally prepared before taking on this task. Use this time to stay in prayer, asking God to help you. However, work toward looking for a job, making your resume current, looking for the suitable clothes to wear for your interviews, act. I suggest giving yourself an allotted amount of time, before your first interview. You don't want to jump into it, but, you surly don't want to wait too long. Ask God what to do, he will provide you with all the answers. For all we know going on an interview could be the best thing for you right now. We don't know you, at least I don't. Maybe you can handle going on an interview, most people can not this soon though. Someone said that you should keep busy during this time, I also think that would be good. You are in our prayers. Shelly emoticon

Edited by: GLITTERGIRL69 at: 8/25/2009 (12:04)
GLITTERGIRL69's Photo GLITTERGIRL69 Posts: 10,648
8/25/09 11:25 A

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Dear Donna, my heart goes out to you. I am so close to my mom. I would do anything that I could for her. I know that this is very hard for you. Not only are you dealing with your mother's death you also need a job.

The same God that told you to be your mother's care taker is the same God who will take care of you. God has mercy for those who accepts and lives in harmony with his will. HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU. Ever time doubt comes into your mind tell yourself, God will provide a way for me. You must believe that things are going to be alright. Think back to when you decided to take care of your mom. What was going on in your life? Was it hard to drop everything and take care of your mom? The reason I am asking is because you obeyed God during a time in prayer. Do you see the similarity? Yes, the situation is different, but the out come will be the same. Follow me for a second, ok. Five years ago you prayed to God asking him what you would do. God said take care of your mom, and you did. Even though your mom is dead, by asking God what you should do...it still IS the SAME question. You obviously trusted him enough to do what He said. And the result was good. It may be harder to trust and listen to God this time, but you must know that God will not lead you asray. Now use that same trust and take one day at a time, trusting God each step along the way, waiting for God's reward. If you have been successful at obeying God regarding your mom, God will reward you. Oh ya, it may not seem like it now, but no submition to God, no kind act of his will is unnoticed by God. Doing God's will with the correct motives leads to a job well done. As you have prayed for yourself, part of your prayer should be asking God what you should do. If he doesn't tell you himself he will tell you a different way. I believe he will speak to you through outer people, give you a sign, or something else. It is important that you believe that God will continue to take care of you.

I realize that the things that I have mentioned are things that you may already know, and believe. Sometimes it helps to hear your beliefs through someone else. Or sometimes we are thinking about something, and when someone else repeats your thoughts, at times, that is God verifying His will. I am really glad that you shared your pain with us. You will receive a lot of prayer as a result. I have made this a sticky, which will keep this thread here for awhile. If keeping your thread here helps you please contact me. Everyone is differentI will remove the sricky, causing it to move to the next page within a matter of time. All I ask is that you take a look at it from time to time, and give us an update. I will pray for you, and your family.

Dear Jesus please provide a job for Donna. Heal her heart and easy her anxiety. Come to her with your grace,love, and care. Protect her thoughts, actions, and words. Please guide her through your will, allowing her to trust you. Please bring people into her life to give her what she needs right now, enabling her to find the support she needs. Lord you never close a window without opening a door. God, I ask you to let that door be opened quickly. Ease her pain with your love, ease her pain with your holy spirit, ease her pain with your guidance Lord, and let your will be done, in Jesus name I pray amen.

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8/24/09 11:07 P

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Donna my prayers are with you at this time.. and I hope that you will find a job soon... you miss mom is because you are thinking of her all the time you need to find something to do ..hugs

DEE Southern New Jersey

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Faith makes all thing possible
Love makes all things happen
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God is Good all the time. All the time GOD is good.

Let your life be like Angel Food Cake...sweet and Light---




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DSHRBURR4's Photo DSHRBURR4 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/24/09 9:35 P

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Heavenly Father, please wrap Your loving arms around Donna and give her a peace that passes ALL understanding. Comfort her during her sorrow and lead her down the path that You would have her take during this time of her life. In Jesus name Amen

God Bless you - Sheri

So we tell others about Christ, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all the wisdom God has given us. We want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ.
~ Colossians 1:28, NLT

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."
~ 1 Timothy 4:8, NLT

Here is my best Mother's Day Ever!!
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8/24/09 9:22 P

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Friday was the anniversary of when I lost my Mom. I am sorry about your loss. I pray that God gives you the peace that passeth all understanding. emoticon

Trust in the Lord with all your heart!


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8/24/09 9:20 P

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Oh, Donna. *tighttighthugs* It's such a difficult thing. My heart goes out to you. I'm 50 now and lost my mother when I was 35 and my dad when I was 37. I thank God for the time you had with your mother. It's so hard for us to grasp death as our Father does, to have the big picture, the eternal perspective. Even if we could, we would still feel the weight of our loss. I pray for the Holy Spirit, our precious Comforter, to wrap you in love, to ease your pain, to reveal the Hope of Glory to you so clearly that you are able to cope with this period of mourning, that you will be able to celebrate life once again. God will lead you regarding the next steps to take. We're petitioning Him to do that for you and standing in faith with you. Our sisters have all given you very good advice. Blessings to each of you.

~Missy~

There is nothing we can do to make God love us more; there is nothing we can do to make God love us less. -- Philip Yancey


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KATZ25's Photo KATZ25 Posts: 1,658
8/24/09 8:47 P

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Hi Donna - I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my mom four years ago, still have my dad. I know I still miss her. I also took care of her, gladly and was with her until the end. Now I see that time coming with my dad and think I can't face this again, but I will. First I would say let yourself have a little time to grieve and get over the shock and the loss of your precious one. I know you need a job, but give yourself some time. Don't make any decisions to fast right now because you are in shock and grieving. Even if you have been taking care of her for awhile, your still in shock, death does that, I know. Let things fall in line and pray that the Lord will show you which direction your life needs to go and which path you should take. He will guide you as he did in the past. He loves you and will take care of you and cover and protect you during this time. Just don't rush into anything. Take a deep breath and just rest in the Lord for awhile. I'll keep you in my prayers. emoticon emoticon

Denise
I Miss My Mom - I'll love you forever mama

I want to be the kind of woman that when my feet hits the floor each morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!"

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past...stop planning the future...stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel...stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel..sometimes we just have to go with..."Whatever happens, happens"
FRANANN3's Photo FRANANN3 Posts: 1,317
8/24/09 8:43 P

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I'm very sorry Donna, I will pray for you.

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PAHOLMES39's Photo PAHOLMES39 Posts: 1,396
8/24/09 8:42 P

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Mothers are very special to daughters. IMy mother lived with my family for 20 years before she died.
I missed her terribly---but as time went on it was easier for me.
I will pray that God will grant you peace in the loss of your mom.

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ETAGGEL's Photo ETAGGEL SparkPoints: (0)
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8/24/09 8:38 P

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I am so sorry! I know what it is like, it takes a long time to sink in. For about a year after my mother passed I used to find myself going to the phone to call her. My oldest daughter used to say "Mom, we dont have an extension cable long enough!" I dont know what to say to make you feel any better, all I can say is allow yourself time to go through the grieving process.
You are in my thoughts and prayers

Phyllis
Co-leader of the Emotional Eaters team
Leader of Alamance County, NC, team
Leader of The SP Class 0f June 14-20,2009
SparkPeople Motivator

IN GOD I TRUST!

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it.
William Arthur Ward

Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.
Brian Tracy, Eat that Frog

Today is the Tomorrow I worried about Yesterday!



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DONNABERRIE's Photo DONNABERRIE Posts: 201
8/24/09 8:05 P

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Why is it so hard to rejoice for my Mother when I know she is in heaven with Jesus. I know Daddy met her. She is in no more pain and I am so happy for that. But I miss her so much...She and I have been constant companions for the last five years, since my Dad died. I prayed for a long time about what to do for my Mom. God led me to be my Mother's caretaker, which I was more than willing to be. She has always been there for me, so I wanted to be there for her. I quit my job, everything. Now I am so lost. I don't know where to go or what to do. I know God is in control, but I am so scared. I need a job first of all. So I guess what I'm asking for is prayer. I need guidance. I miss her sooo much.
Thanks, Donna

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 21:29 Amen


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