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LESLIEJEAN43's Photo LESLIEJEAN43 Posts: 36,903
1/1/12 6:31 P

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I've just found this thread again, and want to say too that you are beautiful! I'm glad you put up your own picture - now we can get to know the 'real' you!
Leslie

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out."
---Anton Chekhov



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12/20/11 2:35 P

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SAM, Ah! I just love your new profile photo! You are so beautiful! Chris emoticon

near Buffalo, NY
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.
Founder of this team: Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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12/14/11 4:06 P

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Look at that picture -- do you know that you are beautiful? But "Maybe" is the same as "No."

Sam, I know you very well in some ways. I know feeling sorry for myself. I know never being at a loss for excuses and reasons that nothing I do will work. I know wasting my time thinking that other people have it all and I'll never be any good. I know thinking I have no right to do things, go to movies or concerts, etc. I know that depression is behind it all.

There's a good chance that your medication just isn't working for you. If your family doctor prescribed them, ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, who is trained to know all the medications and what may do the best for you. It often takes a number of prescriptions before the right one is found, but the benefit in the long run is worthwhile. Also, get back into therapy. The right meds and a therapist will give you the boost to take action for your life, but don't let yourself hang on to the excuses to sit where you are.

You're not a little child. You have responsibility for your life and getting help.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

If it's snowing, smile.


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12/14/11 6:12 A

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There i replaced the picture of lisa simpson with my own picture!

Laurie,
Maybe I should take action instead of thinking and thinking about my situation.Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. And laurie youre right maybe I should stop comparing and just do my best in this battle


Thank you all

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12/12/11 11:02 P

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Sam,

I understand depression and anxiety, but you're working hard at being negative and sitting in your little rut. No matter what anyone says to you or has said in in other topics you began, you find fault and reasons not to make changes. Sitting around waiting for motivation to strike like magic is a sure way to sit in one place forever.

As for thinking that everyone else live a charmed life, have you ever heard a saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?" Forget out other people and take a step on your own behalf.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

If it's snowing, smile.


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12/12/11 9:26 A

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SAM, For starters maybe change your profile picture to something positive..... ?

Seeing yourself as a fat Lisa sends the wrong signal. Don't you think?

Lisa Simpson is actually someone with smarts and spunk. How about a "normal" picture of her?

Chris

near Buffalo, NY
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.
Founder of this team: Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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12/11/11 10:30 P

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First of all, thank you for taking time to read my post. I feel good because someone take time to read what I wrote. Anyway, comparing myself to others is my weakness.I know i shouldn't, but sometimes I can't help it. I feel like everyone is living the time of their lives while here I am still stucked on this situation. As for motivation, I realized that I shouldn't depend on it because sometimes it goes out of the window. Maybe I should commit to it instead of waiting "motivation" to make me move and eat right.

Yeah I know Indy girl, she's such an inspiration.I love reading her spark page. I love those kind people . I hope that I can continually learn from her.


I'm still taking antidepressants and anti anxiety medications however I'm not on a theraphy anymore. Maybe one of this days I'll go back to my therapist.





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12/11/11 8:45 P

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Linda,

Your note reminds me of what I always need to remind myself: Stop berating myself, stop fretting -- Take a few breaths -- Right now is who and what I am -- There are reasons why I am this way -- If I want to change any of it, I must think clearly in order to make good decisions and take good action. When I finished reading your post, I became aware that my shoulders had relaxed.

Sam,

"I dont know why I can't do that while other people can pull it off. Others have the disciplne and determination. I really dont know where to get motivation. I hate my life sometimes because of this weight. I feel like im missing a lot because of this..did u ever feel this way?"

Comparing yourself to others is self-defeating if you only see that you're not on the same level. There will always be people who can do it better, faster, easier, etc., etc., whatever "it" may be, but the converse is true. You will always be able to do it better, faster, easier, etc., etc., than others. How others do "it" has nothing to do with you unless you take a positive view. I'll mention Indy Girl (Beth) as an example, as you're a member of that team. She amazes me and, in comments on her blogs, I've told her that, even if I don't always follow through, I learn from her. I was surprised and felt honored when she made me an SP friend after a comment I wrote on a blogs. People like Beth makes part of my world better.

Sam, it's all hard work. Sometimes I resent the fact, but resentment is yet another layer of junk I create for myself. I create obstacles to losing weight and almost everything else instead of just doing the things. In the last few years, though, I've consciously turned the creativity toward positive ends, even if some of my methods are slightly comical.

Motivation = What I Want
Discipline = Remembering What I Want

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

If it's snowing, smile.


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12/11/11 5:56 P

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Hi Sam - I'm Linda from Duluth, MN - Motivation is the worst ever in the realm of losing weight. My brain can say all the right stuff, but when it gets down to brass tacks, forget it. I eat what I want when I want. I stopped looking at myself as someone who could be made fun of. Most other people act or look worse than I do. At the age of 60, we are suppose to look "old". Maybe not with the spare tire, but maybe with a little ring around the middle. Understanding that I need to keep going during the day is the biggest plus I could have. Believe me I use to sit at the tube from 10am till 12 at night. :( Not anymore!!!! So just look at some of your daily habits and maybe you can change something or add to something. Work on it and pray for guidance. Take care and Good Luck.

Co-Leader of Fat to Fit Wives.
Co-Leader of: In for the Long Haul

Let The Lord be your friend and protector.

Who indeed can harm you if you are committed deeply to doing what is right?
- I Peter
Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.
- Anonymous


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PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (629,994)
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12/11/11 3:23 P

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emoticon SAMPAGUITA3 and emoticon back to SparkPeople and the team...

"If plan A didn't work there are 25 more letters in the alphabet....."~unknown

Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle again. emoticon

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


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12/11/11 3:18 P

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Hello, Sam, we haven't seen you in a while.

You're asking a big question that has no easy answer. The motivation is the thing or things you want. To be slimmer is the main thing you're looking at, so being slimmer is your motivation. Let's not even say "to be Slim," because getting there is a process which necessarily will take you through the province of "Slimmer."** Knowing the motivation then puts you in position to determine the work and steps that will get you going.

We all lose steam now and then while we're on the way. Depression certainly deflates our commitment and desire. My mood dropped last winter. I not only haven't lost weight (except for about six pounds I lost several weeks ago), but I regained about 35 of the 115 (I think) I'd lost. I've been doing well with food for five days now and feel fairly confident that I'm back on track. My wake-up came when I put on a dress to go to a concert and saw that it was too tight to be wearable. I'd worn it a couple of weeks earlier, when it was snug but doable. It hit me that I'd gone so far astray that I had nothing appropriate to wear and ended up staying home and missing what my friend told me was an excellent concert. I managed to change the bad eating habits by borrowing from an unexpected place.

I've had conversations over many years with a friend who has a long history of anorexia. She's always remarked that I'm the only lay, non-anorexic she's ever known who understands that anorexia is about control. This came to mind last week and I decided to adopt what I call "anorexia rules" for my purpose. Much in my life, like all of ours, is either beyond my control or affords me little control. Eating, however, is fully within my control. I am the only one who can choose what, how much and when to eat and what, how much and when not to eat. No one can take that away from me. Because I can take total control of what I eat, I decided to approach my goal from there. It's been easy and simple these five days, but it's likely that it will become more difficult some time. When it does, I'll invent a new, workable way to deal with it.

As an aside, I find that tracking and seeing the good numbers at the end of each day encourage me. I like the written proof of my mastery over eating. It makes me feel capable, competent and adult, captain of myself, sui generis. That, from someone who doesn't often feel particularly grown-up The feeling is magnificent.

If you are not in therapy now, you'd probably benefit if you do begin. Two other options are shrinkyourself.com and the book, "The Beck Diet Solution," both by psychologists for the purpose of identifying, understanding and redirecting the factors of emotional eating.

There is a book and an on-line program with a price tag at the website, but it's sufficient to sign up for the free emails. As to the Beck book, you'd want this title, not her other, very similarly-titled book. Neither the website nor the book includes a food plan. That's up to the user/reader. In the case of the book, it's important to follow from the beginning and do the exercises. (I have all the emails stockpiled in my email and the book on a shelf. I must say I've used neither, but people I trust say both are very helpful.)

I hope this helps and that you'll keep posting as part of your support program.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

If it's snowing, smile.


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LESLIEJEAN43's Photo LESLIEJEAN43 Posts: 36,903
12/11/11 2:54 P

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Hi Sam and welcome to you!
Is your depression being treated? Are you on meds or in therapy? Depression can certainly be linked to weight gain, or lack of weight loss.
Chris gave you a good tip about using the nutrition tracker. If you use it every day to enter everything you eat and drink, and aim to stay within your recommended calorie range, it will show you where you are doing well and where you can improve.
Exercise is important too. If you are not currently exercising, start with at least 10 minutes a day, and log your activities in the fitness tracker.
Drinking water, at least 8 glasses a day, is important too and that can also be entered in the nutrition tracker.
You should be able to lose 1-2 lbs./week by doing these things. That may seem slow, but losing weight slowly is the safest way, and you will be more likely to keep it off.
This is a very caring and supportive team, so if you have questions, just ask!
Post often; it will help to keep up your motivation.
I'm glad you've joined us.
Leslie emoticon

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day-to-day living that wears you out."
---Anton Chekhov



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12/11/11 11:49 A

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Welcome, Sam! First of all you are not your fat! You are a beautiful person. People who record their daily lose the most weight. Have you looked at the nutrition tracker yet? Chris

near Buffalo, NY
LONG TERM GOAL: Reduce A1C,BP,tryglicerides,and weight.
Founder of this team: Evening Eating Sabotage Myself Frustration ..Help! www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=51755


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12/11/11 11:05 A

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hello fellow sparkers! I hope that y'all doing great. As for me im okay but i can say that feel like there's something missing. All my life, I never felt beautiful. I feel like I'm a dork who needs a lot of polishing. I can see thin girls enjoying there lives. They have relationships, they can wear whatever dress they want to wear while here i am, feeling alone, depressed and miserable. There was one point in my life where I did lost a lot of weight.I must say the feeling is so gooood.But it didn't last long. I regained the weight. As an overweight woman, i have a little confidence on myself. I'm scared of going outside...im scared that people or my relatives will see me like this..I do have a lot of insecurities right now, eversince. The most
depressing part was my inability to control what I put in my mouth. It was after college when I was diagnosed with Major Depression. I dont know why I can't do that while other people can pull it off. Others have the disciplne and determination. I really dont know where to get motivation. I hate my life sometimes because of this weight. I feel like im missing a lot because of this..did u ever feel this way? How can I change?What can I do?


sam


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